


The Playlist of Kim Donghyuk's Life

by yayame



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Background Relationships, College AU, Drama, M/M, comedy?, i have most of this written, okay sort of, totally a new style of writing for me, was inspired by this yoonmin fic, your typical college au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 69,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9569201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yayame/pseuds/yayame
Summary: "we drunkenly hooked up but you're dating my roommate who hates me au"





	1. Rockin - The Weeknd

**Author's Note:**

> People always talk about the ones that got away  
> I just seem to get the ones that always want to stay  
> \-----  
> You don't have to spend your life with me  
> You don't have to waste your energy  
> We can just be rockin', yeah  
> We can just be rockin', yeah  
> I just want your body next to me  
> 'Cause it brings me so much ecstasy

******sunday**

     There are several things Donghyuk regrets in life:

  1. Letting his best friend copy off his spelling test in the third grade.
  2. Telling his mother that one of the neighborhood kids broke the attic window.
  3. Refusing to start an assignment until the night before even though it was assigned a month ago.
  4. And most recently, this: waking up in a stranger’s dorm room.  



     Granted, it’s not the worst thing. He could’ve woken up naked, lying in a ditch somewhere. However, he’s not sure how much of a step up “waking up naked in a stranger’s dorm” really is. It also doesn’t help that he can’t seem to remember where he put his shirt.

     He trifles through a sea of discarded clothes on this stranger’s dorm floor, searching desperately for favorite graphic tee when he finds it carelessly tossed in a corner. He punches his fist through the air in triumph before silently slipping the garment on. Donghyuk turns back to glance at the stranger’s bleach blonde bed head, tucked into the crevice of navy blue sheets before quietly slipping out the dorm.

     Donghyuk breathes a sigh of relief before grimacing when he realizes he now has to do the infamous Walk of Shame™. With his head hung low, he trudges through the dorm halls to find his way back to his own dorm room (thankfully he doesn’t bump into anyone he recognizes).

     He’s halfway up the stairs into the Yi Sun-Shin dorms when his cell phone rings loudly. Donghyuk grabs his head, the ringing pounding against his skull before he finally answers.

     “Hello?” His voice is hoarse and dry.

     “Donghyuk! Thank god you’re alive.”

     “Barely.”

     There’s guffaw on the other line as he leans against the stairwell wall for support. “Is there a reason you’re calling me so early, Jungkook?”

     “Early? It’s 10:30 in the morning.”

     “Not everyone gets up at 6 to run 5K.”

     “Well, just making sure you’re alive. I couldn’t find you at the party.”

     He sinks down to sit on the steps, rubbing his temples for brief relief, “Yeah, that’s because I left the party.”

     His best friend coos, “Sounds like someone got lucky.”

     Donghyuk is silent.

     “Wait. No way, seriously? You seriously went home with someone?”

     “Can I really call it going home with someone if it wasn’t my home?”

     Jungkook laughs again, voice echoing in the phone.

     “I regret letting you copy off my spelling test.”

     “No, you don’t. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have become best friends and you’d have to face your crazy roommate all by yourself.”

     He sighs silently but doesn’t comment. “I have to go. I need a shower and a long nap.”

     The other line cackles so he takes that as his cue to leave, promptly hanging up mid-laugh.

     Slipping his key through the door, he quietly shuffles into the shared dorm, looking around to see his roommate still fast asleep in his bed. He breathes a sigh of relief, walking to his side of the dorm to grab some clean clothes before heading to the dorm’s bathroom to wash up.

\-----

     Ruffling his hair with a thick, white towel, he walks out of the bathroom, vision blurred by the fluffy fabric when he walks into a broad figure. Losing his balance for a second, he braces himself for the hard impact of the dorm floor when he feels a warm arm around his waist. He peeks through the towel to see sharp features marred with a look of surprise when the dorm room unlocks. Both of them look up, a perfect recreation of the DVD cover of _Gone With The Wind_ , when his roommate, Jinhwan, walks in. His eyes dart between them, raising an eyebrow before furrowing to glare at Donghyuk and the intruder.

     Like a shock, the intruder breaks out of his trance, arms slipping away to let him fall on top of mountains of unfolded laundry and hard wooden dorm floors. Donghyuk lets out a (manly) yelp before groaning as pain shoots up his spine; (he wonders why).

     “This is my roommate, Donghyuk.” Jinhwan’s voice is indifferent while he stares up at the ceiling, wondering what he did to deserve this.

     With a struggle, he stands up, dusting off his sweatpants and actively ignoring the glare his roommate sends him.

     “This is my boyfriend, Junhwe.”

     Donghyuk turns to greet his momentary savior, hand outstretched for a handshake before he freezes; bleach blonde hair. His heart is racing because his roommate (who not so secretly hates him) has a boyfriend with bleach blonde hair. Very similar to the stranger he woke up next to. But what are the chances? And, this guy’s in a relationship with Jinhwan so he wouldn’t possibly cheat, right? Plus, tons of guys dye their hair. Yeah, it’s fine. He’s fine.

     But Jinhwan’s Boyfriend™ is staring at him in shock and recognition and this is bad.

     He doesn’t realize they haven’t said anything in two full minutes and that the three of them are hanging in awkward silence.

     “Hey, dude, what’s up?” His voice has never been this low as he puts on his stereotypical frat guy/jock voice.

     “H-hey. Nice to meet you, man.” Junhwe (Junhoe?) replies somewhat steadily.

     “So weird…” Donghyuk hears Jinhwan whisper under his breath before reaching out to tug at Junhwe’s sweater, “Let’s get breakfast, I’m starving.”

     “Y-yeah! Sure. Sure.”

     They awkwardly wave before the couple finally ducks out; he lets out a breath he doesn’t know he was holding before collapsing on his mattress.

He’s royally fucked if that was really who he thinks it is.

  1. Possibly drunkenly hooked up with a guy who’s dating his roommate who hates him.



\------

**monday**

     “Wait, you’re telling me you hooked up with your crazy roommate’s boyfriend?”

     He presses his cheek against the cool surface of the dining hall table, “Possibly. We don’t know for sure.”

     “Well, how many guys on campus have bleach blonde hair?”

     “It’s a big school I’m sure there’s more than one.”

     Jungkook shrugs, shoveling toast in his mouth before suddenly choking; he looks up with a raised eyebrow, harshly patting his friend’s back before he finally gulps air. “You said you woke up in the Sejong dorms?”

     “Yeah, so?”

     “I only know of two people in the Sejong dorms with bleach blonde hair.”

     Donghyuk blinks once, then twice. “Who?”

     “One is composition major, Nam Taehyun.”

     “Was he the one who performed at your showcase?”

     “Yeah! He sang ‘Baby Baby.’”

     “That was a good song. I liked his performance.”

     His best friend flaps his hand to brush over the random tangent in conversation, “The other guy is the school’s basketball player, Koo Junhwe.”

     He almost spits out his coffee. Almost.

\----

     There’s no way. There’s no way. _There’s no way._ It was probably Taehyun. He probably slept with that Taehyun guy. Yeah. No big deal. Just Taehyun.

     It’s all he mutters on his way to history, darting around on campus as he struggles to ignore the gnawing feeling that tells him otherwise. Seriously, what are the chances that he slept with his roommate’s boyfriend? Slim. Impossible. Yeah, so it was probably Taehyun. He was cute. He was good-looking. He seems like someone he would hook up with.

     He slides through the classroom door, choosing a seat near the middle of the lecture hall as he sets his books and pencils down. Donghyuk rummages through his backpack to grab his notebook, shuffling through pages of endless doodles before finally finding a blank page to write down notes in. He jots down the date, seeing a figure take a seat to his right in the corner of his eye. Not acknowledging the new stranger, he continues to ready his notes for the professor before an obvious cough interrupts his train of thoughts.

     Looking up, Donghyuk freezes ( _again_ ) when he locks eyes with a certain blonde.

     He looks like a fish out of water as he stares, unmoving before Junhwe coughs awkwardly into his fist, breaking him out of his trance. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he looks back to see the other sheepishly smile before reaching into his bag and grabbing an item. Without breaking eye contact, Junhwe awkwardly extends his arm; he looks down, staring at the appendage before his fist unfurls to reveal his student ID.

     He turns red, cheeks flushed and hot before clumsily grabbing the offending item in hand; he quickly tucks it into the front pocket of his backpack, keeping his eyes on the desk.

     “You left it. On my desk. When you left that morning.” A husky voice breaks his train of thought.

     Shyly nodding, Donghyuk looks up through his fringe of hair, “Uh, thanks.”

     Yeah, he royally fucked up.

  1. ~~Possibly~~ Definitely drunkenly hooked up with a guy who’s dating his roommate who hates him.



     They sit in silence for a good five minutes.

     “Did you--”

     “Please don’t--”

     They stop mid-sentence, staring at each other.

     “You go.” Donghyuk nods, running his hand through his hair out of nervous habit.

     “I was just… I was just going to ask if you mentioned anything to Jinhwan?”

     He breathes out, shaking his head, “No. He already hates me; I don’t need to give him a legitimate reason to.”

     Junhwe nods, toying with the hem of his leather jacket, “Uh, thanks.”

     They awkwardly nod, saved when the lecturer finally walks through the door, stalking up to the chalkboard with purpose as he scribbles on the surface.

\-----

**tuesday**

     “So, was it him?”

     “Was what him?”

     “Donghyuk slept with his crazy roommate’s boyfriend.”

     “What! Donghyuk! I expected better from you.”

     “Thanks _mom_.” He rolls his eyes, grabbing a strawberry off of Jinwoo’s plate and chucking it at Jungkook. “For the record, I did not know of their relationship. And also, I would appreciate it if we stopped talking about it out loud since most people don’t know.”

     Jinwoo shakes his head, eyes wide with disappointment, “I told you not to go out.”

     “Yeah, yeah, mom.” Jungkook mocks, not really paying any mind to their senior.

     “I’m not your mom. _Jin’s_ your mom and I’ll tell him that you’ve been eating nothing but junk food for the past three days.”

     The other male pales, fork raised in mid-air, piled with the remnants of pork katsu and macaroni and cheese. He drops his utensils, “No! Last time, he came over to the dorm and made a month’s worth of food and wouldn’t leave for three days!”

     Donghyuk and Jinwoo chuckle as Jungkook continues to whine, latching onto the oldest male’s arms in a plea for mercy.

     “So, I’m assuming Jinhwan has no idea?”

     “Yeah, and it’s going to stay that way.” He glowers at his best friend.

     Jungkook waves him away, not even mildly threatened by his glare. (“ _It’s like being glared at by a kitten. It’s not scary.” “I hate you, Jeon Jungkook.”_ ).

     “Well, just remember, one more semester and you’re done with your freshman year of college and you won’t have to room with him anymore!”

     God bless Jinwoo and his endless positivity.

\-----

**wednesday**

     “We’re not in third grade anymore, Jungkook! I’m not letting you copy off my chemistry assignment.”

     “Please.” Whiny voice echoing in the dorm halls. “The student aide in the class is super hot and I want him to think I’m smart.”

     He stubbornly refuses, unlocking his dorm room door and ushering the two of them inside. “I don’t even know why you decided to take chemistry, you’re a business major with a minor in music composition-- Oh, hello.” They both stop short when they catch his roommate and his boyfriend on his bed watching a film on his laptop.

     “Hey.” Junhwe easily acknowledges him, tightening his grip around Jinhwan’s shoulders.

     “Sorry, didn’t know you guys were going to be here… Me and Jungkook were just stopping by to grab some things.”

     “What? No, we weren’t--”

     Donghyuk smacks a hand over his best friend’s mouth. “We’re going to study at the library. So, don’t mind us! Just grabbing my, uh-- Sweater! Just here to grab this and go study at the library.” He forcefully pushes Jungkook out of the dorm (an impressive feat considering the other has about 7 more centimeters of built height on him). “Well, bye!”

     Jinhwan doesn’t even acknowledge him while Junhwe does that awkward sports nod as he slams the door shut.

     Leaning against the surface, Donghyuk breaths in relief, “That could’ve been awkward.”

     “Could’ve been? Dude, it was awkward.” The taller male claps a hand on his shoulder, hanging his head in mock shame before yelping when he stomps on his foot.

     “I’m getting new friends.”

     “Don’t you mean friend? I’m like your only friend. Jinwoo hyung’s only friends out of obligation.” He blocks himself from a punch to the rib.

\-----

     “So are you going to tell me why we had to run out of there like that? I mean, I get that it’s awkward since you slept with the guy--”

     Donghyuk slaps a hand over Jungkook’s mouth, slipping away in disgust when the other licks his palm. He rubs furiously against his jeans, faces morphed in disgust before glaring at his self-satisfied best friend. “Will you please stop saying that? What if someone hears you?” He darts his head around to make sure no one is eavesdropping on them. “It’s awkward because I,” pausing, he looks around warily before leaning in close to whisper, “ _slept with the guy_. And we have history together.” He pulls away with a long sigh.

     Jungkook stares at him for a long second before doubling over in laughter. “S-Seriously? You- You guys have class together!” He struggles to talk between his laughing.

     Reaching over, Donghyuk pinches his side to stop his laughing, earning an indignant glare before he turns back to their textbook.

     “Man, what are the odds that you drunkenly hook up with your crazy roommate’s boyfriend and he’s in your class?”

     “Fate has a cruel sense of humor.” He comments stoically, not looking up from his notebook.

\-----

**thursday**

     “Please, please, please.” Jungkook extends the last syllable in a drawn out whine, “Taehyung invited me to this party his best friend’s boyfriend is having and I don’t want him to think I’m a loser with no friends if I show up alone.”

     He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing into the receiver of the phone, “No. I am not going to any more of your stupid parties just so you can impress some student aide in a class you’re probably failing.”

     “But you’re my best friend.”

     “Tough. Find a new best friend.”

     “Donghyuk.” His name is turned into a desperate plea. “I won’t ask for anything ever again! I just need to show Taehyung that I’m fun. I’m cool. I’m turnt.”

     “I believe the term now is lit.”

     “Just a couple of hours and if it’s going well, you can leave since I won’t need my wingman.”

     He can feel a migraine coming on, dropping his highlighter in the spine of his textbook as he leans back against the headboard of his bed. “One hour.”

     “Two.”

     “You’re not in a position to be bargaining.”

     “Come on, two hours! Live a little.”

     “Fine, two hours and I leave whether it’s going well or not.”

     “Yes! Thank you!”

     Donghyuk mentally adds number six on his list of regrets, “Becoming best friends with Jeon Jungkook.”

     “Going to a party?”

     He startles at the interrupting voice, looking up to see Jinhwan calmly perched on his bed with a thick textbook in his lap. It’s rare that his roommate initiates conversation so he stares for a long moment before snapping out of it. “Uh, yeah. Jungkook wants me to go out tomorrow.”

     “Oh, have fun.”

     “D-do you want to come?”

     “No.” Why even ask? What did he expect at this point in their relationship? “Junhwe has a game tomorrow.”

     “Oh.” He can practically hear the crickets. “Well, have fun.”

     “You too.”

     That was one of the most civil conversations he’s ever had with Jinhwan.

\-----

     He nods his head along to the music blaring through his headphones as he carries this week’s laundry through the halls. Donghyuk whistles quietly, nodding at his      neighbors before rounding the corner. Raising an eyebrow at the pained look on Jaebum’s face, he yanks the headphones to ask what’s wrong when he hears it.

     “You’re so immature! All you ever want to do is hang out with your little basketball players!”

     “I don’t think you’re in a position to call anyone little.”

     The two voices behind his dorm room are loud and he can see the rest of their hall peek out of curiosity. Donghyuk winces when he hears another yell and the sound of something (most likely, a lamp) breaking.

     “You walk out that door and we are never getting back together!”

     “Fine by me!”

     The door slams open; Junhwe stomps out of the room, running a hand through his blonde hair in frustration as he brushes past him. Eyes wide, he peers through the open door to see Jinhwan fuming, glaring at the remnants of their desk lamp on the floor.

     With an awkward shuffle, he slowly closes the door, “I’m just gonna… I’ll sleep over at Jungkook’s tonight.” He stands in the hallway, glancing at their neighbors before grabbing his laundry and heading up two floors to Jungkook’s dorm.

\-----

**friday**

     “This is stupid! I can’t hear anything!” He yells over the thumping rhythm of the speakers, glaring at his best friend.

     Jungkook ignores him, handing him a standard red Solo cup with some sort of mixed concoction, “Come on! We’re here to have fun!”

     Donghyuk doesn’t really hear him all that much but he assumes that’s what he said based on lip-reading. He does his best to follow his best friend through the crowd of college bodies as they make their way to the apartment’s kitchen.

     “There’s Taehyung!”

     Looking up, he sees a relatively tall male leaning against the counter with a beer in hand, discussing something with a shorter male; he’s smiling widely when he notices the two of them coming over.

     “Kookie!” He pulls Jungkook into a hug and he can see his best friend turn red at the contact, “You came!”

     “Uh, yeah.” He does that weird cough whenever he’s nervous or in an awkward situation, “This is Donghyuk, my, uh, best friend.”

     Leaning over, he whispers mischievously, “Real smooth, Casanova.”

     He snickers when Jungkook elbows him in the rib but casually shakes Taehyung’s hand.

     “This is my best friend, Jiminnie!” The older male wraps his arms around the male from his earlier conversation. “This is his boyfriend’s party.”

     “This is not my party!” A voice echoes from somewhere in the crowd but he can’t pinpoint where.

     “Ignore him, he’s just tired from the game.” Jiminnie (?) smiles, eyes turned crescents, “I’m Jimin, Park Jimin.”

     “Kim Donghyuk.” He grins at Jimin, shaking the offered hand. “Game?” He tilts his head slightly, watching his best friend sputter and trip over his words from the corner of his eye.

     “The basketball game. Yoongi hyung is captain this year!”

     “Which means parties at the captain’s house!” Taehyung whoops loudly, throwing his fists in the air.

     “I did _not_ agree to this!” A random figure pops up into the kitchen, black hair ruffled as he wraps his arms around Jimin from behind, pressing a kiss against his cheek. “Hey, baby.”

     Jimin giggles, “Hi, hyung. This is Donghyuk and Jungkook.” He gestures to the two freshmen but the basketball team captain barely spares them a glance. “This is Yoongi hyung!”

     Donghyuk smiles warmly, bowing slightly out of respect as the older student nods coolly.

     “This isn’t my party. This is Taehyung’s party that he threw at my place because he’s a brat.”

     Taehyung seems unfazed by the insult, too busy chugging down his beer, “Come on, Kookie, I want to introduce you to some other people.”

     The freshman lets himself get dragged into the sea of bodies, shooting an inconspicuous thumbs up at him; he shakes his head fondly before glancing at the couple. They’re sweet and Jimin is obviously trying to contain his laughter as Yoongi grins widely, whispering in his ear.

     Donghyuk feels like he’s intruding, stepping back as he looks around the rest of the apartment, swiftly avoiding drunk bodies. He moves to one of the long tables stacked against the living room wall, refilling his drink as he watches drunk and horny college students grind on each other.

\-----

     He’s got a nice buzz going on as he sways slightly to The Weeknd’s “Party Monster,” mouthing along to the lyrics. He shoots two thumbs up when he spots his best friend in the crowd, dancing with Taehyung; he reaches for another refill, the excitement bubbling under his skin as he chugs another cup of some mixed formula made up of Kool-Aid, vodka, tequila, and Sprite.

     “Fancy meeting you here.”

     Looking up, he’s greeted by a flurry of blonde hair and a wickedly charming grin; Donghyuk smiles awkwardly, “Hey.”

     “Uh, sorry about last night. I heard you got kicked out of your room.” Junhwe nurses a Solo cup of his own, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

     “It’s fine.” Cue crickets even in this loud party. “I wasn’t kicked out. I, uh, just volunteered. He looked like he wanted to be alone so…”

     The taller male nods, staring down into the plastic cup, seemingly intrigued by the beverage it holds.

     More crickets.

     “Well, I’m still sorry you had to see that. Or, at least, hear it.”

     He tries to shrug it off, making an awkward movement with his shoulders, “It’s alright. I get it. Relationships are hard.” Donghyuk doesn’t admit that the only relationship he’s ever had was an imaginary one he fantasized about having with Gong Yoo ( _“They broke up because he couldn’t deal with the age difference.” “Shut up, Jeon Jungkook.”_ ).

     “But does it have to be this hard?”

     His gaze softens as Junhwe toys with the rim of the plastic cup, “Sometimes but not always.” He gently pats the other’s shoulder, the two of them awkwardly  tucked into a corner of the party. “But I’m sure you’ll work it all out.” His life has reached all new levels of weird; he’s consoling his drunken hook-up about his relationship problems. Yeah, this is weird.

     Junhwe slumps against the wall, exhaling harshly as he glared at the rowdy crowd, “What if I don’t want it to work out? What if I don’t want to get back together?”

     He looks around in panic; he’s terrible at comforting people. He tries to be nonchalant, “Well, then you don’t. No one’s going to make you.”

     “Yeah, sure.” His tone is bitter and sarcastic but Donghyuk doesn’t push it. Junhwe looks at him with a curious look in his eye, “Wanna get out of here?”

     He checks his phone; it has been two hours.

\-----

**saturday**

  1. Drunkenly hooking up with a guy who’s dating his roommate who hates him _again_.



     It’s a cruel sense of deja vu waking up naked in a familiar dorm with blonde hair beside him; it’s also cruel that he knew ( _knows_ ) this is his roommate’s (ex) boyfriend and he still slept with him. He’s going to hell for this.

     Donghyuk sits up with a soft groan, stretching his limbs as he feels a familiar soreness radiating at the base of his spine. He glances to the side at the bedside table, big red numbers jumping at him, telling him it’s 10:29am; he looks away from the alarm clock, eyes catching on the ripped foil of a condom wrapper and then the framed photo of a younger Junhwe hugging a younger Jinhwan. They’re smiling widely at the camera as they hold what looks like a basketball trophy in arm. They look happy.

     Oh, yeah. That’s why he’s going to hell. He flops back on the mattress, regretting every decision that had left him here. Looking to his right, he sees Junhwe snuggled into the navy blue comforter, blonde hair sticking out in tufts.

     God, what kind of person sleeps with their roommate’s (ex) boyfriend?

     A terrible person.

_Buzz! Buzz!_

     He startles, looking back at the nightstand to see Junhwe’s phone buzzing wildly; Donghyuk looks over to see him snuggle further into the sheets and pillows, ignoring the noise. Sitting back up, he chances a look at the phone, freezing when he sees Jinhwan’s name flash on the screen.

     He needs to get out of here; he needs to get out of here and avoid this. Avoid this Drunken Mistake™ because he doesn’t want to give Jinhwan an actual, legitimate reason to hate him.

     Like that first morning, he shuffles through piles of clothes, searching for that dumb white T-shirt Jungkook got him for his birthday last year and the cozy flannel shirt he insisted went with everything, all the while tugging on a pair of distressed skinny jeans..

     He makes sure to grab his student ID this time.

\-----

**sunday**

     “You’re my best friend but I don’t need all the details of your love life. Tell that to Yugyeom.”

     “Hey!”

     Donghyuk shrugs, unapologetic, as he whips the can of heavy whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate. “Order for Joshua!” He flashes a smile at the customer, thanking him when the man drops some loose change into the tip jar.

     “Where did you even run off to, anyway?”

     He wipes the counter down, looking over at Jungkook and Yugyeom crowded around the register.

     “I went home.” Both of his friends look unimpressed but he turns back to focus on cleaning the espresso machine. “Sort of.”

     “Oh!” They wear twin shit-eating grins™, looking at him predatorily, “We know Jungkook went home with Taehyung so who did you go home with?”

     “I have better things to do than gossip.”

     “Come on, tell us! We’re your best friends!”

     “Yeah, and I’m seriously beginning to reconsider that.”

     “Donghyuk!” God, they even whine together.

     “No! I’m not telling you guys!”

     “Ahem.”

     The three of them turn to see Junhwe, backpack hanging, as he coughs awkwardly.

     “H-hey! What can I get you? Ignore these two.” He’s tempted to knock their heads together when Jungkook not-so-inconspicuously leans over to whisper, “That’s the crazy roommate’s boyfriend. The one he slept with.” into Yugyeom’s ear.

     “Small americano.”

     “One small americano, coming right up! That’ll be 3,850 won.” He rings up the register, already reaching for the small paper cup. He’s bouncing on his feet, trying to ignore the weird tension between them as he pretends that this just another customer, not his roommate’s (ex) boyfriend that he’s slept with, _twice._

     Their hands brush when he reaches over to hand him the change but he ignores the jolt that runs through his body.

     He silently finishes the drink, subconsciously aware that Junhwe is watching him as he prepares his coffee. Watching as the last drop of black liquid spills into the cup, he grabs the lid, securely pressing it before wrapping the hot cup in a sleeve. Donghyuk awkwardly smiles as Junhwe coolly grabs the cup, nodding nonchalantly before he walks out of the tiny library cafe.

     There’s a moment of silence before he remembers his friends loitering around the counter; he turns to tell them no, he won’t tell them who he went home with. But they wave him off.

     “You don’t need to tell us. We already know.”

     He’s going to get new friends this semester.

\-----

     Wiping down the counter, Donghyuk stares blankly as random students scurry in and out of the library; he likes working the cafe on Sundays. It’s usually quiet as most students sleep off their hangover from Friday and Saturday night partying. It’s never busy and he can work both the register and machine without worrying about bumping into a co-worker with scalding hot coffee (he’s been burned twice since he started working here).

     But as the Sunday library buzz begins to die down, students trudging out into the January snow back to their dorms, he reflects back on the first two weeks of second semester coming to an end. He buries his head in his hands, pressing the heel of his palms against his eyes to try and ease the pressure.

     He can’t believe he’s made the same mistake _twice_.

     “Ahem.”

     Donghyuk lazily lifts his head to see Junhwe standing at the counter. “O-oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

     “No worries.”

     “What can I get for you?”

     Junhwe’s cheeks turn pink as he stares down at the counter, “Uh, pumpkin spice latte.”

     He raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat, “That’s a seasonal flavor. We only serve that during the fall. We have other flavors though. Like peppermint and gingerbread. Or our traditional flavors.”

     “Well, what do you recommend?”

     “Uh, I…” Donghyuk stares at Junhwe in surprise, “Well, if you want something like pumpkin spice, the gingerbread’s a good substitute. But personally, I like the peppermint mocha.”

     The taller male nods, “I’ll get that. One medium peppermint mocha.”

     “Alright, that’ll be 4,350 won.”

     Junhwe hands over a crisp 5,000 won bill, dropping the change into the tip jar.

     With an appreciative nod, Donghyuk sways behind the counter, pumping two shots of peppermint flavor into the paper cup as the coffee begins to drip in the espresso machine.

     They’re the only two people in the small enclosure, standing quietly as the radio hums softly in the background.

     “Did you finish the history essay?”

     Glancing up, he sees Junhwe staring at him; he carefully pours the hot liquid into the cup, shaking his head softly, “Not yet. I still have to finish my conclusion.”

     The basketball player nods, staring at the different cookies lined against the front counter.

     Donghyuk hands over the paper cup, the awkwardness seeping into the silence. He mirrors the sports nod the other flashes him, watching as he turns to walk out the library’s double doors.

     “See you tomorrow.”

     He startles at the good-bye but waves, “Y-yeah. See you tomorrow.”

     What the hell is his life?

\-----

**monday**

     This time he sits in the back corner of the lecture hall, careful to avoid any contact with blondes as he focuses on the lecture at hand. He jots furiously as the professor drones on about the rise of the Silla empire. However, in the corner of his eye, he can see blonde hair peeking in the opposite of the room.

     “That is all for today.” Professor Son claps his hand free of chalk, facing the class once more, “Now, before you all run out of my class, I wanted to talk about the final mid-term presentations. Obviously, these presentations aren’t for another month and a half but it’s best you begin soon. These presentations represent 25% of your final grade so it’s not good to half-ass them. Furthermore, they are partner presentations.” The class groans in unison. “Yes, yes. I know we all hate group projects but it’s good practice for real life. Sometimes, you have to work with people you don’t like.”

     A perky sorority girl in the front raises her hand, “Do we get to choose our own partners?” Her sorority sister looks just as hopeful as her.

     “No. Partners will be assigned. The class list will be posted outside on the bulletin in the hall and online in the class forum.” Professor Son looks around the class, “Any more questions?” Beat of silence. “Well, then, if you have any more questions, feel free to stop by office hours or email me, otherwise, you are all dismissed.”

     Donghyuk gathers his notebooks, stuffing them in his backpack before scurrying out of the classroom to the history department’s bulletin. Students are gathered around the cork board, chattering incessantly; he maneuvers through the crowd, scanning the single sheet of paper.

**HISTORY 112 PRESENTATIONS:**

Choi Youngjae - Yook Sungjae

Choi Hansol - Lee Chan

Choi Junhong - Seo Youngjoo

Jung Jinhyung - Kim Jisoo

Jeon Wonwoo - Kim Mingyu

Kim Donghyuk - Koo Junhwe

 

     He doesn’t bother reading the rest of the list, turning around in a mix of shock, surprise, and maybe, frustration. He walks right into a firm chest, bouncing back on his heels before looking up to see blonde hair (he hates blonde hair now).

\-----

     “So, what’s wrong?”

     Donghyuk bangs his head against the cafeteria table.

“He has to work with Junhwe.”

     “Who’s Junhwe?”

     “The roommate’s boyfriend that he’s slept with. Twice.”

     “Oh, Hyukkie.”

     He feels a warm hand run soothingly run through his hair. He looks up with a frown, “How? How could this happen to me?”

     Jinwoo looks at him sympathetically while Jungkook reaches over to steal his pudding; he glares, throwing a grape at his best friend.

     “It’s not that bad.” Yugyeom tries to reassure him, stealing the pudding back and handing it to him.

     He nods in thanks, spooning out a heavy bite of chocolate pudding. “If this is God punishing me for letting Jungkook cheat off my third grade spelling test--”

     “Oh, my god! Let that go!”

     “Never!” He hisses at Jungkook before burying himself into Yugyeom’s bear hug.

     “It’ll be fine, Dong. Just, maybe, don’t sleep with him a third time.”

     He pulls away to shoot an unjustified glare at the smile tugging on Jinwoo’s lips. Donghyuk slumps to lament about his life again when he feels a pat on his shoulder; looking up, he turns around to see- speak of the devil- Junhwe standing sheepishly behind him.

     “We need to talk about our project.”

     He dumbly nods, waving bye to his worried friends as they exit the campus cafeteria.

\-----

     They find an isolated table in the back of the library, shoving their textbooks on top. They sit on opposite sides, marinating in the awkward silence.

     “I think we should do the project on the Japanese Invasion--”

     “What we did last week was wrong and--”

     They both pause, staring at each other in confusion.

     Junhwe breaks first, “What?”

     He takes a deep breath, “I just… I feel like we need to address the elephant in the room. The elephant being the fact that we’ve,” he leans in to whisper, “slept together. Twice!”

     The basketball player doesn’t look fazed, “So? It’s not like it meant anything.”

     “Well, yeah. But you’re dating my roommate.”

     “Not right now. We’re currently broken up. So it’s technically not cheating.”

     Now he’s staring out of shock (and a little bit of disgust). “That’s it? Since it’s technically not cheating, you’re fine.”

     Junhwe rolls his eyes, “Look, it’s great that you have some sort of moral compass, _right now_ , but you weren’t exactly saying no on Friday.”

     “I was drunk!”

     “So was I but you don’t hear me bragging about it.” Junhwe pinches the bridge of his nose, “Listen, what we did wasn’t illegal and technically, it wasn’t wrong.”

     “What about the first time?”

     “What?”

     “The first time we, you know.” He flails his hands in a failed attempt to sign some sort of gesture. “You guys were together, then, right?”

     The other male seems to be thinking before he pauses with realization, “Oh, _oh,_ that. No. We had broken up a week before that. We got back together the morning after. He texted me when you left my dorm asking to get back together.”

     His gapes at how nonchalant Junhwe is about all of this. “That’s… That’s still not okay!”

     “Why not? We didn’t commit a crime. Me and Jinhwan weren’t together so it’s all good so you’re off the hook. Don’t worry about it.”

     “I think you should feel a little guilty about this. I’m your boyfriend’s roommate.”

     “So? It’s whatever. Now, about this project--”

      8. Sleeping with Koo Junhwe _twice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 83 pages written so far ;; 
> 
> I was going to wait till I finished everything before I posted but I was too excited. 
> 
> anyway, enjoy the first chapter; will update weekly.


	2. 너 아님 안돼 (GOTTA BE YOU) - 2NE1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 너 아님 안돼 No  
> My one and only oh oh oh  
> 너 아님 안돼 No  
> 내 곁엔 너 아니면 안돼 난  
> \-----  
> (It’s gotta be you, no  
> My one and only oh oh oh  
> It’s gotta be you, no  
> It’s gotta be you by my side)

**friday**

       “I am not going to your maybe-boyfriend’s best friend’s boyfriend’s basketball game. Take Yugyeom.” 

       “Yugyeom’s going home for the weekend.”

       “Then go alone.”

       “Please, please, please.” And the whining has begun. “I’ll never ask you for another favor ever again.”

       “You said that last time.”

       “Well, this time, I really mean it!”

       “Jungkook, why do you even need me to go?”

       “Jimin and Taehyung really liked you and want to see you again.”

       He crosses his arms, unimpressed. 

       “And I’m scared to be alone with Taehyung without the influence of alcohol.” 

       “There it is.”

       “Please! Donghyuk, I’m begging you!”

       “No, take Jinwoo hyung.” 

       “I would but it’s his five year anniversary with Mino hyung.” 

       “Take Jin hyung.”

       “No! He would just embarrass me.”

       Donghyuk looks back at his best friend, sighing in defeat at the pleading look in his eye, “Fine. I’ll be the third wheel to your stupid date.”

       “Yay! You’re the best!” Jungkook jumps out of the library seat, “Game’s at 7, don’t be late!” He rushes out, leaving him alone in the study area. 

       Already his head is spinning with the oncoming headache. 

\-----

       The school’s basketball court is filled to the brim with students wearing the university’s colors. Cheerleaders shout loudly at the crowd as screams and cheers echo in the hollowed out stadium. Donghyuk flinches as students roughly push against each other in the name of sport, making his way down the bleachers with Jungkook to courtside. 

       Taehyung is decked out in green and black, cheering loudly before he pulls both of them into a hug. 

       “I’m so glad you guys came! This is your first basketball game, right?”

       He nods silently, shocked by this new wave of culture. 

       “Hey guys!” Jimin’s voice is excited and bubbly as he weaves through the crowd to their seats; he’s got an old Seoul University jersey on and a pair of distressed jeans. He has paint under his eyes and the number 23 written on his forehead as he carries a large banner in hand. “I’m so glad you guys made it.” 

       Taehyung helps unravel the banner to reveal, “FIGHTING! MIN YOONGI #23!” With little pink hearts around the border. 

       He can’t help but grin at the sweetness of the support, letting himself get pulled into another hug as they stand on top of the bleachers. 

       The buzzer echoes as the sports announcers welcome the teams on the court; he recognizes Yoongi’s black hair as he leads the Seoul University tigers onto the polished floors. From their brief introduction at the party, he could already tell he was packing a lot of power and skill in his small stature. 

       “There’s Yoongi!” Jimin cheers loudly, cheeks flushed when the other winks at him as he dribbles onto court; he’s followed by the rest of the team, pumping their chests in ceremony as they look at their adoring student body.

Donghyuk watches with curious amusement as the basketball players toss around the ball a few times, warming up before his eye catches on bleach blonde hair. He looks away, choosing to cheer along with Jimin as the players gather themselves in position.

The crowd murmurs as the referee steps into the center, holding the coveted orange ball, his striped uniform perfectly pressed as he looks at both teams. He holds a whistle in one hand, lips poised at the mouth before he throws the basketball ball into the air.

Like a slow motion scene in any stereotypical sports film, both players jump high, arms stretched to tap the ball to their side of the court; the crowd’s breath pauses before the stadium is filled with noise again as players race up and down the court. He watches with rapt interest as the players communicate with just looks, passing the ball and dribbling swiftly, evading their opponents. Seoul University gets the upper hand as one of their players steals the ball from one of the Yonsei players, running to the basket.

The crowd roars when he makes the shot, the first score of the game; without missing a beat, another Seoul U players dribbles back to the hoop, scoring another two points for the team.

\-----

Sitting on the edge of the bleachers, they watch as the referee calls half-time, the stadium chattering with excitement as Seoul U leads with a mere ten points. Jimin ignores the staff as he rushes onto the court, enveloping the basketball team captain in a hug.

Donghyuk grins as Yoongi makes some sort face out of annoyance but his eyes practically melt at the sight of the other male. He looks over at Jungkook to his left, struggling to keep up with Taehyung’s overflowing energy; he laughs, sticking out his tongue when his best friend makes a face out of exhaustion ( _“That’s what you get for dragging me to this.” “I hate you, Kim Donghyuk.”_ ).

Half-time is almost over as Jimin makes his way back to the bleachers, blowing one last kiss at Yoongi who accepts it with a bashful wave. He smiles at Donghyuk, latching onto his arm with a sense of comfortable familiarity, “One of the players was asking about you.”

He looks over at the older male, raising an eyebrow, “Me?” Not Junhwe, not Junhwe, not Junhwe.

“Yeah. Over there.” Jimin points at a player with jet black hair, standing next to Yoongi, the number “95” emblazoned on his jersey. “His name’s Bobby. I don’t know him too well but Yoongi says he’s a good guy. He’ll be at the party tonight.”

“Party?” He slowly turns to glare at Jungkook, gritting through his teeth, “A party, Jeon Jungkook?”

“Oh, yeah… About that…” He tries his best to look sheepish, inching his way behind Taehyung to use him as a human barrier between them. 

\-----

       In the last thirty seconds, Seoul U scores two more baskets, firmly securing their victory in a 115 - 101 shootout. The crowd rushes the court, lifting the winners up while Jimin pushes his way to the benches where Yoongi is clearly avoiding the over-the-top celebrations; Taehyung pushes Jungkook and Donghyuk towards the benches as well, arm secure around the former’s shoulder as they stand courtside. 

       “Hyung! That was so cool!” Taehyung gushes, beaming at the basketball team captain. He gets a nod in return while Yoongi wipes away the sweat with a clean towel. “Party at the captain’s place!”

       “Kim Taehyung!” 

       Yoongi’s voice travels in the stadium but it’s too late; the junior has dragged Jungkook to announce that there will be a victory party held at Yoongi’s apartment like last time. The senior looks like he’s contemplating whether to chase after him or not before he sighs in defeat. 

       “Good game, cap.” A rough voice calls behind him.

       “You too, Bobby.”

       He tries to turn around nonchalantly ( _ be cool _ ) and  accidentally  locks eyes with this Bobby; he’s got a playful grin and his eyes turn into little crescents. Donghyuk can’t pull himself away as his eyes catch on cute little bunny teeth before he flushes when this  _ Bobby _ smiles knowingly down at him. 

       “I’ll see you guys at the party!” Bobby’s voice is raw and deep as he waves good-bye to the three of them, shooting a playful wink at him before he heads toward the locker room. 

       “Did you see that? He totally likes you!” Jimin peels himself off Yoongi, latching onto his arm to gush about the basketball player. 

       Donghyuk just blushes, glancing down at his feet; has the basketball court always had such shiny floors? 

\-----

       The party is in full swing as students dare each other to do keg stands and shots of questionably cheap tequila. Yoongi sighs, rubbing his thumbs into his temples before he grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him through the crowd. He’s pretty sure he heard, “I’m going to kill Kim Taehyung,” but it’s hard to be sure when the stereo is cranked to the max. 

       Donghyuk strolls over to the kitchen, grabbing an empty Solo cup and pouring himself a mix of Coke and a poor man’s excuse for whiskey. He glances around the limited counter space to grab some chips when another hand reaches for the bag as well. It’s all very cliche and even though, he tells everyone he hates romantic comedies, deep down, his heart flutters in his chest. 

       “Sorry!” The hand pulls away.

       “No, I’m sorry!” He looks up with a smile, cheeks pink when he recognizes it’s Bobby from the basketball game. “You can, you should have some chips.”

       The other male sheepishly grins, “Thanks. I’m starving after the game.”

       Nodding softly, he reaches for some chips after Bobby grabs a handful, “You did- You played really well.” Facepalm™; all he wants to do is compliment this really cute guy and that’s the best he came up with?

       “Thanks. You were with Jimin, right? Earlier, at the game?”

       He nods before awkwardly clearing his throat, “Y-yeah. I’m Donghyuk. Kim Donghyuk.”

       “Bobby. Kim Bobby.” And then his eyes do that crinkle thing and his little bunny teeth are showing and Donghyuk’s a little in love. “Are you here with someone? I don’t think I’ve seen you around much.”

       “Well, I was here with Jimin hyung and Yoongi hyung but I’m not sure where they are now.”

       Bobby makes a face of sympathetic understanding. “That usually means they snuck to his room to sleep together.” His face flushes before Bobby realizes what he just implied, cheeks reddening as well. “I mean like actually sleeping, nothing weird or sexual!” 

       They stare at each other with wide eyes and bright red cheeks before they double over in laughter. His face almost hurts from all the laughing and smiling. 

       “So, your boyfriend or girlfriend around somewhere?”

       The taller male tries to play it cool but he’s biting his lip to keep from smiling and his eyes are hopeful; Donghyuk smiles softly, “No. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

       The grin on his face is blinding as he looks down at his beer shyly, “Oh. Good.” He practically whispers that last word but even through the ear-popping noise of Drake’s “Hot Line Bling,” he can hear it. 

       “You? I saw a lot of people with Bobby signs at the game.” He bashfully comments. 

       “Fans but nothing more. Really haven’t met anyone  _ yet _ .” 

       “Oh.” His voice is soft but they’re blatantly beaming at each other now. 

\-----

       It’s past 2am and the party has mostly died down; he’s sitting on a beaten down couch with Bobby, each nursing a beer. His cheeks hurt from smiling but he can’t get himself to go home right now. 

       “--anyway, we’re both completely convinced that this car is following us and we’re in some sort of trouble but I don’t want them to know where I live. So, I tell my best friend to drive me to our friend’s house who lives in the same neighborhood because I’d rather they know where he lives than where I live.”

       Donghyuk chuckles loudly, “So? Were they actually following you?”

       “Nope. It was just a random black car that happened to be going in the same direction. We figured that out when an old lady stepped out of the vehicle.” 

       He throws his head back in laughter, the warm glow of alcohol buzzing under his skin before he glances at the living room clock. “Shit. It’s two-thirty in the morning.”

       Bobby looks over as well, “Damn, you’re right. Uh, are you good to go back to the dorms? We did drink a lot.” He looks down at the coffee table littered with their beer cans and empty red Solo cups. 

       “I think I’m okay.” He surveys the living room before realizing that Taehyung and Jungkook are passed out on the loveseat in the opposite corner of the room. He smiles fondly, relieved that his friend is somewhat alive. 

       “Here, let me walk you home.”

       He looks up in surprise, “Are you sure? I mean, you drank more than I did.”

       “It’s fine. I’ve got a pretty strong tolerance.” Bobby stands up, extending his hand to help him stand up; he takes it with a bashful smile. The basketball player laces their fingers together as they slowly make their way out of the apartment. 

\-----

       The stroll through campus is peaceful but chilly; he shivers as the cool night air brushes over his skin. Bobby peeks at him, immediately, removing his jacket to drape it over his shoulders. 

       “You don’t have to--”

       “It’s fine. I don’t really get that cold, anyway.”

       “Are you sure?” 

       “Yeah, don’t worry about it.” 

       Donghyuk looks at Bobby appreciatively, hugging the Letterman jacket closer as they see the old brick buildings of the dorms begin to line the streets. He subconsciously slows his steps when he sees the familiar Yi Sun-Shin building in view, already dreading the end of the night.

       As they round the corner towards the front steps, they pause briefly, standing under the uneven glow of the streetlight. Donghyuk bites his lip, looking up through dark lashes, “Well, this is me.”

       Bobby unsurely nods, looking down at him fondly, “I guess I’ll see you around…” 

       “Yeah…” They don’t really let go of their hands, idly pacing at the front door before he finally pulls himself away. 

       Halfway up the steps, Bobby calls out, “Donghyuk, do you wanna go out sometime?”

       He turns around, lips stretched wide, “Yeah, yeah, I’d really like that.”

       The basketball player grins; he takes long steps up the stairs towards him, “I should probably get your number.”

       Donghyuk chuckles, “Yeah, probably.” He presses his number into the other’s cell phone, smiling warmly when Bobby pumps his fist in the air. 

       “I’ll text you.” 

       He nods, swiping his card to get into the front door of the building, glancing back to see Bobby beaming up at him. 

  1. ~~Becoming best friends with Jeon Jungkook~~



\-----

       Donghyuk practically skips up the stairs to his dorm, grinning widely as he hums softly to himself. Everything feels jittery as he makes his way down the hall, still wrapped up in Bobby’s jacket, turning the corner to his room; he pulls the key out of his back pocket, sliding into the lock and turning silently. He doesn’t want to wake up Jinhwan, although, even the older male’s wrath couldn’t dampen his mood. 

       Tip-toeing his way across the threshold, he freezes when he hears a distinct moan; like a deer in headlights, he stares at two unidentifiable masses moving on Jinhwan’s bed. 

       “F-fuck J-Junhwe.”

       “S-shit… Jin… H-hwan.”

       Nope. No. No way in hell. He almost trips over the mess of clothes in his haste to get out, trying his best to remain quiet and not… Interrupt the two. 

       As soon as he’s in the safety of the hallway, heart pounding in his chest, he stares blankly at the wall; no amount of bleach is ever going to get rid of that image, let alone the noise. 

       He contemplates sneaking into Jungkook’s room but he’s still at Yoongi’s and his emergency key is on his desk, in the dorm. Hallway’s not too bad, right? 

       Donghyuk pushes himself off the floor of the hall, instead, moving to knock on his neighbor’s door. It takes a second, but Jaebum opens the door with a groggy look. 

       “Sorry, hyung. But I’ve been… Exiled from my room--”

       Yugyeom’s roommate steps aside; he’s lucky his friend went home for the weekend he thinks as he slumps on his bed. 

\-----

**saturday**

       “Honestly, I’m never going to look at Jinhwan hyung ever again.”

       “I can’t believe you walked in on them. And didn’t get caught.”

       “Definitely in my top ten of most embarrassing things to ever happen to me.” 

       ( _ Kim Donghyuk’s top ten most embarrassing things to ever happen to him:  _

 

  1. __Having to help Jinwoo uncuff Mino from the bed on their one year anniversary after Jinwoo lost the key.__
  2. _Freezing in front of the entire middle school during the school talent show_
  3. _Walking in on Jinwoo and Mino._
  4. _Losing his swimsuit on the waterslide at camp._
  5. _Running over someone’s foot with a lunch cart._
  6. _Tripping over and chipping his front tooth in front of Yang Hongseok (the cutest boy in school)._
  7. _Throwing up on the principal’s shoes_
  8. _Walking in on Jinhwan and Junhwe._
  9. _Getting locked in the family van while everyone went out for ice cream._
  10. _Confessing to his next-door neighbor and getting rejected in the fifth grade.)_



 

       “Man, how are you going to look at Junhwe? You guys slept together and you walk in on him with his boyfriend  _ and  _ you have a project together.”

       Donghyuk sighs wearily, trying to ignore the growing mental pile of shit known as his ‘problems.’ “Enough about my messed up personal life, how was sleeping with Taehyung?”

       Jungkook immediately sputters, spitting hot chocolate all over his apron; he wipes it down with a grimace, shooting daggers at his best friend who mutters an apology of sorts. 

       “W-what sleeping w-with T-Taehyung?”

       He looks at Jungkook’s red cheeks and decides to spare him for today,. “I meant the party on Friday. Both of you were passed out on the couch. You were actually pretty cute.” 

       The other male blushes at the comment, drawing little circles on the counter with his index finger, “Really?”

       “Yeah. Almost looked like a real couple.” He teases, grabbing a scone from the display case and discreetly hands it to his best friend. “So you guys actually sleep together yet?”

       “What! No!” He wears a look of scandal before slumping against the counter, pathetically whimpering with a tone of defeat, “No. Which is fine! I mean, I don’t only like him for that. I like him as a person and I want to be his boyfriend and--”

       “And put flowers in his hair and feed him grapes. I get it.” Donghyuk makes a gesture to get Jungkook to fast forward through his monologue about the student aide.

       “But I can’t tell if he likes me. There was this guy at the party, Ho-something and I think he might like him.”

       He offers his best friend a comforting pat on the back, “Don’t give up yet. He seems like he really likes you. And if he doesn’t, screw him. You can do better.” 

       “Hyukkie!” 

       The two of them look up to see Jinwoo and Mino walk in, hand in hand; Jinwoo tugs his boyfriend forward to the counter, grin in place. 

       “Hey, Jinwoo hyung, Mino hyung, what can I get for you guys?”

       The two share a look between them, prompting slight confusion between the freshmen before they turn back with wide grins. 

       “We’re getting married!”

       Time freezes for a second as his brain struggles to process the information before everything suddenly seems to move in hyper-drive. Jungkook has the same brief pause of confusion before they launch into loud congratulations. 

       “Wait, seriously?” He grabs his brother’s hand, staring at the thin silver band wrapped around his finger. “When? How? Where?”

       Jinwoo blushes, glancing at Mino, before explaining, “Last night. It was our fifth anniversary.” The latter looks at his older brother adoringly, moving to further tuck his scarf around his neck. 

       “We went out to Peking Palace, where he asked me to move in with him. I pretty much just took him on a tour of all our best--”

       “And worst!”

       “Moments. Where we had our first kiss, our first fight, where we said I love you for the first time.”

       Donghyuk can feel himself swoon, Jungkook looking at them fondly. 

       “And then, I took him to the playground in front of our apartment--”

       “And said, ‘We technically didn’t have a special moment here until now,’ and he got down on one knee and proposed!” Jinwoo’s lips are stretched so wide, he’s worried they’re going to rip but his brother’s getting married so he grins just as big.

       “Well, congratulations! I can’t say I didn’t totally see this coming but still!” He reaches over the counter to pull the couple into a group hug, grabbing Jungkook’s collar to force him to participate in the embrace. 

       They pull away with wide grins and he can see the glimmer of tears in Jinwoo’s eyes. He turns to Mino, narrowing his gaze before breaking into a blinding smile. “Even though you’ve practically been part of the family for five years, it’s going to be official now, hyung!”

       The taller male mirrors the smile, “Thanks, Donghyuk.”

       “Can I be your best man?”

       “What? You can’t be the best man! I’m his brother! I’m going to be the best man.” 

       “Hyung!” Jungkook whines, clinging onto Jinwoo’s arm. 

       “Ignore him! I’m going to be your best man, right? Right?” They’re both pleading as Jinwoo and Mino ruffle their hair. 

\-----

       Donghyuk wipes down the counter for the umpteenth time, counting down the minutes before his co-worker rushes in to take over the night shift. He scrubs at a particularly stubborn stain, humming as he sways along to the low rhythm of the radio. 

       “Ahem.” 

       Looking up, he drops the washcloth on the counter, walking over to the cash register, “Hey! What are you doing here?”

       Bobby grins, “I had a group project. We just finished and you looked pretty lonely.” He glances around the cafe, “When do you get off work?”

       He beams, glancing at his wristwatch, “My shift ends in about twenty minutes or whenever my co-worker gets here.” 

       “Cool. You haven’t had dinner yet, right?”

       As if on cue, his stomach growls; he’s going to start a new list titled “Awkward Things That Happen When I’m Around Bobby.” 

       The basketball player smiles teasingly, “I’m going to take that as a yes. There’s a great Thai place just down the street. We’ll go when you’re off your shift.”

       He blushes, smiling warmly before he realizes he probably looks like a mess after working a full eight hour shift. He tries to coolly check his reflection in the shiny surface of a napkin holder, petting his hair to try and tame it. Donghyuk’s caramel brown hair in disarray as he tries to press down some of the creases on his black T-shirt. 

       Bobby easily sees through his act, “You look really cute today, Donghyuk.”

       His heart melts a little. “Thanks… You look really nice too.” And he’s not lying; the basketball player may only be wearing a Seoul U hoodie and a pair of distressed jeans but he looks cool. Like he’s not trying to be cool, he just is. 

       The other male grins, taking a seat at one of the tall tables as he waits for his shift to be over. Donghyuk prays to every deity he can think of that his co-worker, for once, is on time. 

       He hears the shuffle of feet; he’s about to hug Bambam and thank him for showing up to work early,  _ for once _ , but he doesn’t see chocolate brown hair. No, what does he see? Bleach blonde hair. 

       “Junhwe!” Bobby calls out to his teammate, easily settling into a friendly high-five with the other athlete. 

       “Hey, Bobby hyung, what’s up?”

       The aforementioned male smiles sweetly, “Just waiting for Donghyukkie to finish his shift.” Was that a nickname? God, Bobby’s cute. 

       Junhwe looks at them in surprise, eyes darting back and forth before he calmly nods. “Oh, I didn’t know you knew Donghyuk.”

       “We met at Yoongi hyung’s party. Do you guys know each other?” 

       He stops the basketball player from answering, “Y-yeah! We’re in the same history class! We’re actually partners for the mid-term presentation.”

       Bobby nods in understanding, grinning obliviously at the two of them. “We were about to grab dinner; wanna come?”

       No. Nope. Not happening. Koo Junhwe is not going to ruin--

       “No thanks. I already ate.” 

       “Suit yourself.” Bobby shrugs sheepishly before returning to his abandoned seat, grinning happily at Donghyuk. 

       They pause for a brief second of tense silence before he looks up at the basketball player, “What can I get for you?”

       Junhwe blushes, peeking at Bobby in the corner, engrossed in his cell phone before he leans in to quietly whisper, “Medium peppermint mocha.” 

       He pauses before nodding, “Total is 4,350 won.” 

       The basketball player coolly hands over his money, dropping his change in the tip jar before waiting by the counter for his finished drink. 

       Silently fiddling with the espresso machine, he pumps two shots of peppermint flavor in the decorative paper cup, waiting to pour the melted chocolate along with the steamed milk inside. As he finishes pouring the espresso, Bambam rushes in with apologies falling from his lips. He waves off the sorry’s, handing the finished product to Junhwe who accepts it with a nod, swiftly leaving the cafe with a mock salute to Bobby. 

       “I’m really sorry! I couldn’t find my other shoe because Mark’s dog tried to eat it last night--”

       “Bam, it’s fine. You’re only ten minutes late. It’s not a big deal.”

       The other barista nods gratefully, grabbing his apron from the back before ushering Donghyuk away. 

       Bobby jumps off the tall seat, eyes already crinkled happily as he beams, “Ready to go?”

\-----

       They’re seated in a booth in the far back of the tiny restaurant; the waitress greets them warmly, dropping off two waters before sauntering away to help some of the customers. 

       “I can’t believe you’ve never been here before.”

       He playfully rolls his eyes, “Will you let it go already?”

       “No. No Thai is like, a national treasure. You never having eaten here is a travesty.”

       “I doubt No Thai is a national treasure.”

       “Well, it should be. Their food is that good.”

       He chuckles, looking down at his menu, curiosity piqued at all the different items listed. “What should I order? I don’t know what’s good here.”

       “Everything is good. But their pad thai is super popular. I personally like their drunken fried rice.”

       Donghyuk raises an eyebrow, “Drunken fried rice?”

       “Yeah! It’s awesome! They use like this special sauce and seasoning for it, it’s great.”

       He nods, looking over the menu before deciding, “I think I’ll try the chicken pad thai.” 

       “Good choice.” 

       The waitress walks over with a soft smile, jotting down in her little notepad as Bobby lists off their orders, getting a plate crab rangoons to start as an appetizer. He quietly thanks her as she walks back to the kitchen with their orders. 

       Bobby looks at him with a wide grin and then it hits him.  _ Is this a date?  _ He’s never been on a date. ( _ “What about when you went out that one time with Mino hyung’s friend? Zico? Ziki? Zucchini?” “Not helping, Jeon Jungkook.” _ ) 

       “So how was your day?” Good, start slow. Ask him about his day. That’s safe.

       “Nothing exciting. I had basketball practice at seven, got breakfast with some of the guys, stopped by the studio--”

       “Studio?”

       “Oh, yeah.” Bobby looks bashful, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looks down at the tablecloth. “I do some underground rapping occasionally.”

       “What? That’s awesome! My brother’s boyfriend is a rapper.”

       “Wait, seriously?”

       “Yeah, well, not boyfriend. Fiance, now. They just got engaged last night.”

       “Really, congrats!” He beams that Donghyuk can’t help but mirror the smile. 

       “Yeah, they’ve been together a really long time.” 

       “That’s awesome, really.” 

       “Thanks.” He grins before backtracking their conversation, “So what’s your stage name?”

       “Huh? Oh, as a rapper? I don’t have one. I just go by Bobby.”

       “That’s cool.” He nods in understanding, smiling when the waitress drops off their appetizer. “My brother’s fiance is Song Mino, but I can’t really remember what his stage name is.” 

       “Wait, you’re telling me your brother’s fiance is Huge Boy MINO?”

       He chuckles at Bobby’s starstruck expression, “Well, we don’t really call him that but I guess. Again, I don’t really remember his stage name.”

       “Wow, I can’t believe I’m eating Thai food with MINO’s fiance’s little brother.”

       Donghyuk laughs, “When you say it like that you make it sound like Mino hyung is some sort of celebrity.”

       “He is! He’s like really famous in the underground scene.”

       His shoulders shake with laughter, “Really? Because all I can picture right now is the dorky high school junior who would follow my brother around like a puppy.” 

       Bobby grins, chuckling softly, “Man, I can’t believe you know MINO.” 

\-----

       His jaw aches from laughing so much, cheeks sore from all that smiling as they wait for the check to appear. Donghyuk digs into his pocket to fish out his wallet but Bobby stops him.

“Don’t worry about it. My treat, you look like you’ve had a long day.”

He opens his mouth to protest but the waitress has already grabbed the check with Bobby’s credit card. “You really didn’t have to…”

“Hey, it’s not everyday I get to buy MINO’s fiance’s little brother a meal.”

The reaction is immediate; he rolls his eyes, laughing when Bobby wiggles his eyebrows before doubling over in laughter as well.

The waitress returns with the receipt, dropping off a few rice candies as she thanks them; he smiles as Bobby thanks her for her service, grabbing his hand as they make their way out of the small building.

Bobby smoothly moves closer to wrap his arm around his shoulder, tucking him into his side as they step into the cold Seoul night air. He blushes, cheeks warm as they slowly make their way back onto campus.

Even as winter is slowly stripped away from the Seoul streets, the weather is still chilled in late January as they walk down the paved college paths. He can already make out the Yi Sun-Shin building, practically dragging his feet as they walk closer and closer to the front steps.

They stand idly by the stairs, not saying goodbye quite yet as the streetlamp shines down on them with bright fluorescent lights. Donghyuk sheepishly smiles at Bobby, voice soft, “So, I’ll see you later?”

The basketball player smiles, “Definitely.”

Reluctantly pulling their hands apart, he shifts to walk up the stairs before halting; Bobby tilts his head in confusion when he steps up to press a kiss against his cheek, running back up the steps. Quickly swiping his student ID on the security keypad, he glances over his shoulder to see Bobby frozen under the light. With pink cheeks, he calls out, “I’ll see you later!”

It wakes the athlete from his trance as he turns to look up at Donghyuk, grinning widely, “Y-yeah! B-bye!”

\-----

**sunday**

_ bff _

_ best friend in the whole world. 10:12am _

_ light of my life. 10:12am _

_ partner in crime. 10:13am _

_ whatever it is, no. 10:15am _

_ u don’t even kno what im asking 10:16am _

_ still no. 10:17am _

_ what do you want? 10:31am _

_ help me wit chem? 10:32am _

_ lol. no. 10:34am _

_ u brought this on yourself. 10:35am _

_ business major taking chem. 10:35am _

_ lol. 10:38am _

_ revoking your friendship card 10:42am _

_ lol. 10:43am _

“Ahem.”

Tearing his eyes away from his phone, he looks up to see Junhwe standing at the register.

“Oh, sorry. Did you want your usual?” He tries to be aloof, hands already moving behind the counter.

“Uh, no. Not today. I wanted to discuss our presentation.”

Right. The midterm history presentation. He nods, mindlessly rearranging the different wrapped cookies at the register, “Well, I get off work at 2 today. I usually work Sundays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.” He pushes the oatmeal raisin cookies to the front, as they’re the least popular.

“How about Thursday then?”

Donghyuk pulls away when the cookies are finally neatly lined, finally looking up to make eye contact. “I have dance on Thursday nights at seven but any time before then?”

Junhwe nods, “Does Thursday at four work for you?”

Nodding, “Yeah, that works.”

“Okay, so I’ll see you here then?”

“Sure--“

“Junhwe!”

They both look over the blonde’s shoulder to see Jinhwan standing at the café’s entrance. The shorter male squints at both of them before beckoning the basketball player over; Junhwe nods, turning back to face him. “So I’ll see you in class then?”

Donghyuk dumbly nods as the taller male turns, walking up to Jinhwan and slinging his arm over his shoulder as they exit the café together.

_ bff _

_ that was so weird. 11:18am _

_ what? 11:19am _

_ junhwe and jinhwan were here. 11:20am _

_ oh ur ex? 11:21am _

_ he’s not my ex. 11:22am _

_ we slept together twice. 11:22am _

_ that doesn’t make him my ex. 11:23am _

_ lmfao. 11:24am _

_ anyway, what happened 11:25am _

_ did they start doing it in front of u? 11:26am _

_ lmao. 11:26am _

_ nice. 11:26am _

_ did u just “nice” ur own joke? 11:28am _

_ yeah. 11:29am _

_ cause im hilarious 11:29am _

\-----

**monday**

Taehyung easily integrates himself in their little group of friends; it also helps that Jungkook is hopelessly gone for the guy. But along with the student aide, follows Jimin and Yoongi.

“It’s okay, Kookie. Not everyone is great at chemistry at first. You’ll learn.”

Lemonade almost goes up his nose when he snorts at Taehyung’s attempts to console his best friend; he pointedly ignores Jungkook’s glare, spooning another bite of chocolate pudding into his mouth. Donghyuk looks up with a mischievous grin, “Yeah, Kookie, you’ll learn.” He internally cackles at the glare his best friend shoots at him when he teasingly uses the same nickname that simultaneously, Jungkook hates and Taehyung loves. Yugyeom masks his snickers into a cough, glancing at Donghyuk with a knowing glint before they turn back to their lunches.

“Hey, Donghyuk, are you good at math?”

He looks up at Jimin with a confused stare. “Uh, I’m not sure?”

“He’s good at math. He used to tutor our high school seniors in calculus.” Jungkook butts in, leaving his chemistry assignment behind.

“Really? That’s great! Isn’t that great, Yoongi hyung?” Jimin turns his head to look at his boyfriend expectantly. “One of his teammates is falling behind in his calc II class and the school won’t let him play if he doesn’t keep his GPA above a 2.9.”

“What do you say, Donghyuk? You interested in earning a little extra cash?” Yoongi looks up from where he’s cuddled Jimin’s neck. “He’s a really chill guy, shouldn’t give you too much trouble.”

Donghyuk glances around the table, looking at their expectant expressions before shrugging, “Sure, why not? It might be a bit tough to find a good time, though. I work at the café and the spring showcase is coming up soon.” Jimin nods in understanding, part of Seoul University’s famous dance club, Dancing Nine Tails.

“Don’t worry about that. You name a time and I’ll make sure he’s there.”

He nods, “Okay then. I’ll let you know when I find a good time.”

“Awesome, thanks.”

“Yay! See, I told you everything would work out!” Jimin wears a smug grin that Yoongi tries to kiss away.

“Yeah, yeah. I was really worried that we’d lose one of our star players. I don’t know what we’d do without Junhwe.”

Wait, what? Did he just say Junhwe? He just said Junhwe. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -okay but low-key HIGH-KEY a yoonmin shipper
> 
> -One day I will write a bobdong story that will be happy. 
> 
> -Actually, the story Bobby tells is a real story that happened to me and my friend; we legit thought someone was following us and I didn't want them to know where we lived so we went through all these crazy neighborhoods to avoid them. It turns out they were not following us and we were being paranoid after watching scary movies. 
> 
> -honestly got distracted by side plots AKA minwoo wedding!!!
> 
> -okay but imagine Junhwe just orders really cliche basic chick drinks like pumpkin spice latte and peppermint mochas and he's really embarrassed because he's this macho basketball player who looks like he drinks five pots of black coffee a day.
> 
> -let's talk about bobby fan-boying over mine because i could see that happening.
> 
> -the text messages is new and I'm kinda addicted because it looks cool IMO
> 
> -i know, i know, there was barely any jundong here :c 
> 
> -also, the whole story is pretty much in dong's POV because he's sunshine but he's also breaking down inside because he doesn't know how to deal with things: an autobiography


	3. 에라 모르겠다 (FXXK IT) - BIG BANG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No I don’t wanna go too fast  
> Cause nothing really lasts  
> I think I need some time  
> But I can’t get you off my mind

**wednesday**

       Leaning against the headboard of his twin mattress, Donghyuk flips through the filmy papers of his history textbook; he bobs his head slowly as G-Dragon croons quietly through his headphones. 

       He jumps when the dorm room door is slammed shut, looking up from the monotonous pages of the king who staged a rebellion during the Joseon dynasty. Jinhwan paces angrily in their room, face red and splotchy with frustration before he looks up over at him. 

       Donghyuk scrambles to look like he wasn’t just watching his roommate, eyes trying to focus on the words before him as TOP launches into a powerful rap. 

       Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look. And he looked. 

       They lock eyes; Jinhwan has a look of fury, sneering at him (if this were a cartoon, there would be steam coming out of his ears). “What are you looking at?”

       “N-nothing. Not l-looking at anything.” 

       His roommate doesn’t respond, collapsing on the bed with a frustrated groan. He chances a look over at him, eyes clenched as he lies on the bed; Donghyuk silently closes his textbook, stuffing it in his backpack before turning down the powerful vocals of Daesung on his iTunes. 

_ bff _

_ help me. 3:09pm  _

_ wat? 3:10pm _

_ my roommate’s really mad 3:11pm _

_ lol. when is he not mad? 3:11pm _

_ what happened? 3:11pm _

_ idk 3:12pm _

_ he just came in really mad 3:12pm _

_ maybe he broke up with his bf again? 3:14pm _

_ or he’s got a stick up his ass 3:15pm _

       He sets down his phone when he realizes his best friend is going to be unhelpful; with a cautious look, he glances over at Jinhwan still fuming on the bed. He quietly clears his throat, “Uh, J-Jinhwan hyung? Are you okay?”

       His roommate slowly opens his eyes, turning towards him with a glare that could freeze hell. “Fucking peachy, why do you ask?”

       Donghyuk withdraws into himself. “If… If you want to talk about it, I’m always happy to listen.”

       “Jeez. Thanks, kid. I’ll remember that the next time I’m having a crisis and think, ‘you know what? Donghyuk will really want to hear this.’” The other male gets off the bed, grabbing his phone as he marches out the door. 

       He’s about 60% sure he heard the other male mutter “Idiot” but he doesn’t say anything. 

\-----

_ kimbab _

_ So how’s work? 6:29pm _

_ Yoongi hyung is killing us at practice r n 6:30pm  _

_ S L O W 6:31pm  _

_ its just me and my co-worker right now 6:31pm _

_ haha just a few more hours and youre done with practice! 6:32pm _

_ ugh. 8pm cannot come soon enough 6:34pm  _

_ what are you doing after work? wanna grab dinner? 6:36pm  _

_ can’t. promised i’d help jungkook with his chem hw. 6:37pm  _

_ darn. what about tomorrow then? 6:38pm  _

_ wish i could :( 6:38pm _

_ I have a group project and then dance practice 6:39pm _

_ :C 6:40pm _

_ Can i come see you dance then? 6:41pm _

_ you can but im not sure youll have fun 6:42pm  _

_ we’re getting ready for our showcase in the spring 6:43pm _

_ so 6:44pm _

_ it totally sounds fun! what are you talking about 6:49pm _

_ the dance showcases are always amazing to watch! 6:49pm _

_ im sure you’ll be great too :) 6:50pm _

_ shit. I g2g Yoongi hyung just caught me texting 6:51pm  _

\-----

**thursday**

       Donghyuk sits idly at one of the far tables in the back of the library, scanning through his history notes as he waits for Junhwe to show up. He rearranges his pens and highlighters as the minutes tick by; just as he’s about to give up and leave, bleach blonde hair peeks behind one of the shelves. 

       It’s twenty-five minutes after four but Junhwe doesn’t offer any excuses or apologies; he stares at him for a long second, giving him a moment to at least attempt to apologize for his tardiness but the basketball player doesn’t say anything. 

       He sighs, flipping open his textbook, “You wanted to do our presentation on the Japanese Invasion of 1596, right?”

       “Yeah.” 

       Scanning through the index, he finds the chapter dedicated to Admiral Yi Sun-Shin and his campaign against the Japanese navy. “So, how should we divide the parts--”

       “What’s your relationship with Bobby hyung?”

       He looks up with a look of mixed shock and confusion. “Excuse me? I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” 

       Junhwe has a curious expression on, his gaze almost unnerving before he turns back to the textbook. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

       They both stare at their textbooks for a silent five minutes. 

       “Do you know what happened to Jinhwan hyung yesterday?”

       “What?”

       “It’s just, he seemed really frustrated yesterday.” 

       The athlete grunts, “Ignore him. He was probably in another one of his moods.” Junhwe turns back to the textbook, jotting quick notes in his notebook. 

       He doesn’t comment on the weird tension behind Junhwe’s words or the awkward frustration Jinhwan had expressed, instead, turning back to his own notebook to finish writing preliminary notes for their project. 

\-----

       They spend two hours writing and revising their project outline, hunched over five different textbooks and numerous online research articles before they slump back into their seats, satisfied. 

       “Finally.” Donghyuk groans, happy that they’ve at least got some work finished today. He glances at his wristwatch, sitting up when he realizes the time and he’s expected at the dance studio in less than half an hour. “Crap! I hate to end it here but I’ve got dance practice in less than twenty minutes.”

       Junhwe nods in understanding, helping him shuffle his books back into his backpack, “Don’t worry about the library books. I’ll put them back.”

       “Are you sure?”

       “Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

       “Thanks!” He grabs his coat from the back of the chair, scurrying to put his backpack on before turning back to his partner. “When do you want to meet up again?”

       The basketball player shrugs noncommittally, “When’s good for you?” 

       He mentally scans over his schedule for next week, unable to think of a good time for them to meet up and further discuss the project; he steals a look at the time, twelve minutes. He grabs Junhwe’s discarded pen, flipping his notebook to an empty page near the back before scribbling his cell phone number. “Just text me whenever and I’ll see if I can get off work or something.”

       Junhwe nods slowly, staring at the number as he rushes out of the library corner, hurrying towards the exit. 

\-----

       “Donghyuk!” 

       He looks up from his stretch, legs perfectly split, to see Jimin grinning at him; he mirrors the smile, “Hey, Jimin hyung!” 

       “Yoongi says Saturday at 6pm is great. Thank you again for tutoring!” 

       “No worries, hyung.”  _ Although _ , he could do without the fact that it’s Junhwe he’s tutoring. 

       “Are you excited for the spring showcase?”

       “Of course! Are you going to have a solo?”

       “The seniors are still discussing it. Are you going to audition for the freshman solo?”

       He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, “I don’t know… I don’t think I’m good enough. Plus there are tons of people who are trying out. It’s a lot of competition.”

       “You’ll do great, Donghyukkie! I know Hoseok-hyung was talking about putting you in one of the upper level routines.”

       “Wait, seriously?”

       “Yeah! We’re short a few upperclassmen since a lot of the seniors graduated last semester and a lot of people were impressed by your audition.”

       Donghyuk shyly beamed at the compliment, “Really?”

       “Yeah. You should audition. I think you’d do really well.”

       “Thanks Jimin hyung.” 

       The upperclassman ruffles his hair, turning to head back to his own dance team with a friendly wave. 

       He feels the excitement buzz under his skin as the music blares from the speakers. 

\-----

**friday**

_ Unknown Number _

_ Does thursday at 5pm work for you? 9:02am _

_ This is Junhwe by the way. 9:05am _

_ Junhwe _

_ Yeah. That works for me. 9:18am _

_ Cool. 9:19am  _

_ Are you going to the game tonight? 9:37am _

_ Yeah. 9:51am _

_ (read 9:52am) _

\-----

       “Why do you even need your headphones? We’re going to a basketball game, it’s not like you’re going to use them.” 

       “I just really need them, okay?”

       He lets out a groan of frustration, dragging his feet as Jungkook leads him to his dorm. 

       “It’ll be just a minute. Taehyungie already said he’ll save us some seats.”

       “Oh,  _ Taehyungie  _  is saving us some seats?” He giggles when Jungkook’s face heats up. 

       “Shut up.”

       “So what are you and  _ Taehyungie  _ up to?”

       “I will drop kick you, Kim Donghyuk.” 

       He throws his head back in laughter, clutching his abdomen as he leans against the stair’s railing for support. 

       They stand in front of Taehyung’s decorated room door, different paper crafts the RA had stuck on to welcome the freshmen and sophomores. He fumbles with the keys before finally unlocking the heavy wooden door, swinging it open. 

       Donghyuk looks up at the well-lit room, about to scold Jungkook for forgetting to turn off the lights before he left, halting when he sees a familiar figure standing in the middle of the dorm. 

       “Hanbin hyung!” He yells out in surprise, rushing to hug his cousin. “When did you-- How did you-- Wow, you’re really here.”

       The older male laughs, “Yeah. I’m really here, Hyukkie.” He grins down at his cousin, “I got in this morning on a red-eye flight. Jungkook’s been hiding me here for the day while I took a nap before I met up with my favorite cousin.” 

       He glances back at his best friend, sheepishly standing at the doorway, lazy grin on his face. They don’t say anything but Jungkook knows he’s grateful. “Well, I’m going to give you guys some time alone. I’ll see you after the game.” 

       “Thanks, Jungkook.” Hanbin waves the other male good-bye before dragging his cousin to sit on the bed. “So, what’s been up with you? Are you still having trouble with that roommate of yours?” The other male’s protective streak shows; he’s heard all of the horror stories of him being rebuffed and ignored after several rant sessions over the phone. 

       Donghyuk rolls his eyes, “It’s whatever. Honestly, I’ve learned to just live with it now.” 

       Hanbin fondly ruffles his hair, “You’re always too nice, Hyuk.”

       He shrugs, “So, why are you here? Aren’t you still doing that study-abroad program?”

       “I am. Well, I was.” He pauses with a deep sigh, “I’m taking the semester off. The program’s great and I’ve met some nice people but I don’t know if it’s what I want.” 

       He nods sympathetically, “Well, I’m glad you’re here now! Where are you staying?”

       “Currently with Jinwoo and Mino hyung for now. I’m going to work at the studio with Mino hyung for a while I try to figure out what I want to do. Hopefully I’ll save enough money to move out of the lovebirds’ nest soon.” 

       “Gotcha. Did you hear Jinwoo hyung got engaged?”

       “Yeah, he called me a few days ago to tell me the news. Man, all I really remember is when Mino hyung used to follow Jinwoo hyung around like a puppy.”

       “That’s what I said!” They fall into short laughter, grinning ear to ear. 

\-----

**[interlude]**

       Foot on the locker room bench, he laces up his shoes before taking a seat on the cool, wooden surface. 

       “Hey, Junhwe. Tomorrow, 6pm, don’t forget.”

       He rolls his eyes, “Aye-aye, captain.” He mockingly salutes Yoongi who in turn lightly punches him on the arm with a fond murmur of “punk.”

       “Alright, team, let’s move.” The captain’s shout echoes in the locker room as the players begin to shuffle towards the exit, running onto the court like superstars. The crowd goes wild as they step onto the polished wooden floors, dribbling and shooting the ball around with practiced ease. 

       Yoongi immediately beelines towards the stands, warmly smiling at his boyfriend in the stands; he scans over the little group gathered, recognizing Taehyung and Donghyuk’s friend, but there’s no sign of his classmate. 

       His gaze hardens, lips in a straight line--

       “Junhwe!” 

       He glances up to see Mark pass him the ball, easily dribbling the orange object to the hoop before he takes a practice shot. 

\-----

**saturday**

       “I didn’t even know there were twenty different shades of black.” Mino laments as he stares at the different color samples on the table before him. 

       “Of course there are. Now help me pick out a color palette for our wedding.” Jinwoo looks at each swatch with rapt interest, holding up different shades of blue against varying samples of black. 

       Hanbin and Donghyuk raise their eyebrows in amusement, watching as Mino leans against Jinwoo’s shoulder with an annoyed grunt. 

       “Well as much fun as all this wedding planning has been, I actually have plans.” Donghyuk moves to get up when Hanbin latches onto his arm, mouthing desperately, ‘Don’t leave me with them!’

       “Oh. Where are you going, Hyukkie?” Jinwoo drops the color swatches on the table, looking up at him, expectantly. 

       “I promised I’d help out a hyung and tutor one of his juniors.” 

       “Our little genius.” Mino coos teasingly, raising his arms in defense when Donghyuk moves to pinch him. 

_        (Nicknames Donghyuk Hates:  _

 

  * __Genius__


  * _Baby_


  * _Sweetie Pie_


  * _Sugar Bear_


  * _Whiz Kid)_



 

       “Well, have fun. And don’t forget you’re coming over tomorrow for Hanbin’s welcome home dinner.”

       “Okay,  _ mom. _ ” 

       He laughs when his brother throws a color swatch at him, scurrying out of the apartment to catch the bus back to campus. 

\-----

_ kimbab _

_ What are you doing tomorrow? 5:27pm _

_ also why weren’t you at the game??? 5:28pm _

_ i’m going to my brother’s for dinner tomorrow. why? 5:32pm _

_ sorry! my cousin came into town yesterday. 5:33pm _

_ oh! okay! 5:35pm _

_ that’s understandable c _ **_:_ ** _ 5:36pm _

_ I wanted to see if you wanted to go out tomorrow 5:39pm _

_ sorry... :C 5:40pm  _

_ we’re having a welcome home dinner for my cousin 5:41pm _

_ I could ask if you can come? 5:43pm _

_ I don’t want to intrude 5:44pm _

_ you won’t! 5:45pm _

_ it’s really just an excuse for jinwoo hyung to feed us 5:45pm _

_ r u sure? 5:47pm _

_ yeah! jungkook already invited taehyung hyung 5:49pm _

_ and jimin hyung and yoongi hyung 5:49pm  _

_ well if its okay then… 5:50pm _

_ then i’d love to come! 5:51pm _

_ should i bring anything? wine? dessert? 5:51pm _

_ :) 5:54pm  _

_ you don’t have to bring anything, hyung 5:55pm _

       He grins when Bobby sends him a string of happy emojis, texting back his own list of dancing emojis to reciprocate. 

_        Slam! _

       He looks up to see Junhwe staring down at him, his textbook on the table. “Hey.”

       “You’re my tutor?”

       “Yeah. Didn’t Yoongi hyung tell you?”

       “Obviously not.” Junhwe pulls the chair out, slumping into the seat as he carelessly flips his calculus textbook open. 

       “Oh. Well--”

       “Are you even a mathematics major?”

       “Well, no--”

       “Great.” The basketball player rolls his eyes sarcastically. “You’re not even a math major and you’re supposed to tutor me?”

       “I may not be a math student but I know what I’m doing. I took Calc II my junior year of high school. The only reason I’m not taking this as my freshmen preliminary class is because my credit has been waived.” 

       Junhwe shuts up at that and he almost has an urge to smirk;  _ almost _ . He’s usually not one to brag but the other’s aloof attitude had been getting on his nerve. 

       The athlete doesn’t have another smart comment, instead, straightening up in his seat and looking at Donghyuk expectantly; he sighs softly, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have judged. I’ve just had a long day so I’m taking it out on you which is completely unfair.” 

       Donghyuk nods slowly, surprised that he actually apologized before turning to the notebook. “So, where should we start?”

\-----

       “I don’t know.” 

       “Come on, Junhwe. We just went over this.” 

       “Can’t we take a break? We’ve been doing this for two hours.” Junhwe whines.  _ Whines.  _

       “I guess you’re right… Let’s take a fifteen minute break then.” 

       Junhwe cheers (actually cheers) as he lazily leans back against his chair. “So… Why weren’t you at the game yesterday?”

       He looks up in surprise, studying the basketball player’s nonchalant form. “My cousin got in from Japan yesterday. He surprised me so we were hanging out.” 

       “Oh…” Junhwe seems like he’s pondering. 

       “I heard you guys won though.” 

       “Yeah, it was a good game. 117 to 98.” 

       There’s a beat of silence. 

       “So, what is your major then?”

       Donghyuk hums softly, “I’m an anthropology major with a minor in dance.”

       “That’s cool.”

       “What about you?”

       “I’m an econ major.”

       “That explains the history class.” He teases, eliciting a grin from the athlete. 

       “I’m thinking of a minor in history. It was always one of my favorite subjects in class. But with my basketball schedule, it might be a little hard.” 

       “Oh…” He pauses, looking over Junhwe’s slumped form, “Well, if you like it, I’m sure you’ll find a way.” Donghyuk flashes an encouraging smile, brightening when Junhwe attempts to smile back. 

\-----

       “You did not!”

       “I swear to God. My cousin  _ actually  _ got us kicked out of Disneyland.”

       “But how?”

       “Apparently, sneaking into the employee’s breakroom to meet Mickey Mouse isn’t just frowned upon.”

       Junhwe guffaws, “Then what happened?”

       “What do you think happened? We were asked to never return to the happiest place on earth.” Donghyuk grins as Junhwe holds his stomach in laughter, teasingly flicking a ball of paper at his face. 

       The athlete gawks, “Did you just flick that ball of paper at me?”

       He bites his lip to keep from smiling, “Maybe.” 

       “Oh, it’s on.” 

       He shrieks when Junhwe starts bombarding him with paperclips and highlighters, taking cover behind the other’s calculus book as he blindly throws pens and erasers at the other. Their laughter fills the reserved study room, waiting for the other person to declare truce. 

_        Ring! Ring!  _

       “Wait, hold on! Hold on!” Junhwe manages to spit out, halting his attack as he grabs his cell phone from his backpack. “Hello?”

       Donghyuk twists his face into a funny expression, the basketball player biting his lip to keep from laughing. 

       “Oh, hey, Jinhwan hyung.”

       He freezes, slumping silently back into his seat as Junhwe continues his conversation over the phone with disinterested “hums” and “okays.” 

       “Yeah, I’ll see you soon.” There’s a long moment of silence. “...I love you too.” 

       Donghyuk stares at the table, feeling like an intruder as he listened to one end of the conversation. 

       “Well, this has been really productive but it’s almost nine so we should probably…”

       “Yeah, yeah!” He clears his head, “Sorry, we’ve been here so long. I didn’t realize what time it was. This probably wasn’t how you wanted to spend your Saturday night.” 

       Junhwe smiles ( _ “He’s actually got a pretty cute smile.” “Get out of here, Jungkook.” “I’m just saying--” “Get out.” _ ), gathering his things and tidying up their mess, “It’s probably not how you wanted to spend your Saturday either.” 

       “It’s fine. I actually had fun.” 

       The basketball player pauses, looking at him with a curious look before answering, “Me too.” 

\-----

**sunday**

       “Well, you should’ve thought of that first before you asked to crash with the newly engaged lovebirds.” He holds the phone between his cheek and shoulder, moving through the dorm hall with his laundry. He tries to awkwardly wave when he sees Jaebum heading to the gym, listening to Hanbin whine on the other line. 

_        “But it will be the most mundane activity like washing dishes and they’ll still find a way to cuddle.”  _

       “They’ve always been like that, though.”

_        “It’s gotten worse, Donghyuk. You have to save me.”  _

       “You know I would if I could but I have a roommate who I’m sure would not be all too happy with a third roommate.”

       There’s a long whiny sigh on the other end,  _ “Fine. When are you coming over?”  _

       “After I finish putting away my laundry and get ready so probably in an hour.” 

_        “Donghyuk.”  _ He briefly wonders who’s whinier: Jungkook or Hanbin. 

       “I guess you could come over until the dinner.”

_        “Awesome. I’m already on my way.”  _

       He shakes his head good naturedly, hanging up the phone as he trudged up the last few stairs to his room. 

       Pushing his key through the lock, he quietly swings open the dorm room door; Jinhwan is on the phone, crying as he sits huddled in the corner of the bed. He’s half-tempted to pretend he didn’t see anything and sneak out but his roommate looks up; they lock eyes, the older male’s eyes tinged red as he hurriedly hangs up the call. 

       He quietly shuts the door behind him, avoiding eye contact as he sets the laundry basket on top of his sheets. He slowly pulls the clean T-shirts from the pile, folding them silently before whispering, “Sorry, I didn’t know you were on the phone.”

       Jinhwan’s voice is warped from crying, “Whatever.” The tone is obviously supposed to be biting but the weight from crying melts away any real damage. 

_        Knock! Knock! Knock! _

       He looks up, glancing at Jinhwan before walking to the door; he opens the door slightly, peeking out to see Hanbin grinning at him. Donghyuk tosses a glance over his shoulder, “I don’t know if this is a great time, hyung--”

       “Whoever it is, let them in.” Jinhwan’s voice has a bit of its original vigor back. 

       “Okay…” He relents softly, widening the door to let his cousin in. The other steps through the threshold, giving him a quizzical glance before his gaze lands on his roommate in the corner. He mouths, “Oh,” before settling on Donghyuk’s bed. 

       He shuts the door, turning back to the laundry pile on his bed. He folds each shirt carefully, silence filling the room as Hanbin mind numbingly reaches for a sweatshirt. “Crap. I think I forgot my student ID in the laundry room.”

       “Well, you better go and hope it’s still there.” 

       He nods, hesitating as he looks between his cousin and roommate. Jinhwan is staring blankly at the wall while Hanbin nods in reassurance before shooing him to leave. Donghyuk darts out of the room, heading downstairs to the dorms’ shared laundry area. 

\-----

       He practically crashes into the basement, tumbling towards the laundry area as he recognizes a few students from his own dorm leaving the space. Donghyuk heads to the machines he was using earlier, glancing over them before getting on his hands and knees to check beneath the washer. There’s nothing. 

       “You seem to forget your student ID a lot.”

       He pauses at the voice; looking up from his crouched position, he sees Junhwe towering over him with a teasing smirk. 

       “You left it over by the coin station.” 

       Donghyuk stands up, dusting off his clothes before gratefully grabbing the plastic card from the outstretched hand. His cheeks pink at the twisted sense of deja vu in the pit of his stomach, “Thanks.” 

       “No problem.”

       He looks over to see Junhwe washing a few miscellaneous items and his basketball uniform, clearing his throat awkwardly as they stand in the empty laundry room. “Well, you probably need to finish doing your laundry.”

       “Right.” 

       Junhwe seems to be talking more to himself than him so he turns to leave, pausing slightly, “Uh, I’m not sure if you know, or anything, but Jinhwan hyung seemed to be crying earlier.”

       There’s a second of pause, “What?”

       “Jinhwan hyung… He was on the phone and it seemed like he was crying.”

       “Jesus.” Junhwe pinches the bridge of his nose, looking at him, “Do you mind if you watch my things for a bit? I need to make sure Jinhwan hyung’s okay.”

       “Yeah, sure.” 

       “Thanks.” Junhwe leaves in a huff, leaving him dazed as he stands alone in the laundry room. 

\-----

**[interlude]**

       Jinhwan sniffles in the corner, burying his head in his hands as he draws his knees up to his chest. His breathing is labored as he squeezes the tears out of his eyes, clenching his teeth as he listens to the hushed whispers of his roommate and his “friend.”

       There’s a silent pause and the dorm door closes with a resounding click before silence fills the room again. He tries to count the seconds, slowing his breathing as he feels himself take deep breaths. 

       He gets to forty-four before his silence is interrupted by another voice. 

       “Are you okay?”

       Lifting his head, he turns to look at Donghyuk’s friend staring at him with concern,  and pity . “I’m fine.” He bites out. 

       “You don’t look fine.”

       “Why don’t you just mind your own business?” He glares at the stranger. 

       “Wow, sorry to bother you with my concern. I’m sorry I’m not one of those people who can ignore a person crying.”

       He retorts, “You’re not concerned. You’re just pitying me.” 

       The unamused scoff catches him a bit off-guard, “I’m not pitying you. Like it or not, you’re Donghyuk’s roommate, which means I’m going to care a little bit. Don’t think so lowly of yourself.” His tone is bitter and sharp but his words are nice; it throws him off and confuses him but it draws a tiny,  _ tiny  _ smile. 

       “Jinhwan? Jinhwan! Are you okay?” 

       He looks up, getting off his bed and shuffling to the door, swinging it open to let Junhwe slide through with a sigh of relief. 

       “Are you okay?”

       He falls silent for a moment, peeking at Donghyuk’s friend standing idly by, “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

\-----

       “Namjoon hyung! Jin hyung!” Donghyuk grins as the couple turns around, immediately smothered into a loving hug. He laughs as they pull away, turning to his left, “This is my friend, Bobby hyung.” 

       Bobby smiles warmly, shaking their hands as he formally introduces himself. “Hi, it’s very nice to meet you guys.”

       “Likewise! It’s so nice meeting Donghyuk and Jungkook’s friends. They’re always convinced we’re going to embarrass them.” 

       “You do embarrass us!” Jungkook calls from across the room, breaking out of his conversation with Yugyeom and Taehyung. 

       “Ungrateful brat. I told you we never should’ve adopted him.” Namjoon mutters bitterly. 

       “Jin hyung is Jungkook’s step-brother and Namjoon is the stray we picked up in middle school.” He explains, watching amusedly at Namjoon’s expression. 

       “Hey! We’re disowning you too.” 

       “We can’t disown Donghyuk. He’s not ours to disown. He’s Jinwoo hyung’s problem.”

       Donghyuk pretends to be offended, but can’t keep the smile off his face for very long. “Bobby hyung is a rapper too.”

       “Oh, really? That’s awesome man. Wait, are you  _ the  _ Bobby? Iron hyung told me about you. You beat him in a rap battle, right?”

       The basketball player blushes, “It was just a lucky night.”

       “Nah, there’s no such thing as luck in rap. You know, if you’re interested, you should visit me and Mino hyung in the studio some time. Spit some verses together, you know?” 

       “Y-yeah! I mean that would be great!” 

       Namjoon grins, letting Jin drag him away when they see Hanbin come out of the kitchen with new appetizers. 

       “Oh, my god! Rap Monster just asked me to rap with him! This is amazing!” 

       Donghyuk grins, “I’m happy for you, hyung.” 

       “I can’t believe you know all these crazy famous rappers and you’re so… So cool about it!” Bobby has an absolutely star struck expression, beaming with joy as they hang out in Jinwoo and Mino’s living room. 

       He shrugs coolly ( _ “I’m finally cool!” “If you have to say you’re cool, you’re not cool.” “I swear to God, Jeon Jungkook.” _ ), “Well, I knew them before they were these ‘crazy famous rappers.’” He brings his hands up to make the little air quotes. 

       “Still! I mean, I thought knowing Yoongi hyung was pretty cool; he’s also an underground rapper known as Suga, but you know freaking MINO!” 

       He laughs, “If you want I can introduce you two.” Donghyuk points at Mino loitering near the dining room, following Jinwoo as he prepares some sort of feast for dinner. 

       “I don’t want to bother him--”

       “You’ve been avoiding him all night.”

       “That’s because he’s like hard to approach. If you see him on stage--”

       “But he’s not on stage. Plus, he’s a big dork so it doesn’t matter.” 

       “But--” 

       Bobby blushes and stutters as he drags him towards the dining room, standing directly in front of Mino with a shy grin. 

       “Mino hyung, this is my friend, Bobby. He’s a really big fan.” 

       The aforementioned male takes a step back, scanning over the male with a stoic expression before breaking out into a large grin, “Hey! I’m Mino!” He stretches out his arm, offering a handshake.

\-----

 “Are you sure you guys don’t want a ride back to campus? It’s not that far. Are the buses even running—“

“Hyung, we’re fine.” Donghyuk smiled reassuringly, arms stuffed with paper bags filled with Tupperware **©** containers. “I’ll text you when we get back to the dorm.”

Mino has his arms wrapped around Jinwoo’s waist, holding him back from following the rest of the students out of the apartment. He grins, hugging them one last time before turning with the rest of his group of friends, following them to the stairwell with a final wave over his shoulder.

Taehyung leans against Jungkook, eyes drooping tiredly as they quietly make their way down the old staircase. Jimin and Yoongi follow behind, exhausted from their night; Bobby waits for him at the top, casually lacing their fingers together as they start to make their way down.

“I had fun tonight.” Bobby’s voice is low, smiling warmly at him.

“I’m glad you had fun. And that you got to meet your heroes.” He teases, drawing out a soft chuckle; Jungkook tosses him a curious look before turning back to Taehyung in his arms.

“It was pretty awesome. You have no idea.”

 “We met Mino and Rap Monster!” Yoongi quietly whoops, shushing when Jimin whines tiredly.

“Seriously though, I had fun.” Bobby looks at with soft smile, eyes twinkling as they get to the bus stop.

_Me too._

\-----

**monday**

       Donghyuk has a list of cliche phrases he says to keep himself off the edge:

  1. You got this.
  2. What’s the worst that could happen?
  3. It was just a dance. 
  4. You dance all the time. 
  5. Nothing’s going to go wrong. 



       Which is then followed by a list of things his anxiety says:

  1. You got this. _You don’t got this._
  2. What’s the worst that could happen? _You fail and embarrass yourself in front of the entire dance team._
  3. It was just a dance. _It was a dance that could decide the next four years in the dance club._
  4. You dance all the time. _You hadn’t practiced enough._
  5. Nothing’s going to go wrong. _EVERYTHING could go wrong. They could decide your dance was so horrible and kick you out of the dance club forever._



       He feels he’s done a pretty good job not hyperventilating and vomiting all over the hallway; Donghyuk takes a deep breath, leaning against the wall for support as he tries to calm himself down again. 

       He vaguely wonders if he should’ve tried to practice a bit before the audition like all the other freshmen had done before him. Leaning his head back against the concrete walls, he takes another deep breath as he reminisces about the audition. It had gone fine, well if he’s being confident; Jimin had given him a two thumbs up and Hoseok had a wide grin (but he also smiles at everything so it’s hard to tell). As he gives up dwelling on the past, he pushes himself away from the wall, halting when he hears the soft melody of the piano traveling through the halls. 

       Donghyuk looks up, feet already traveling as he follows the sound of the piano echoing quietly. He stands outside one of the music rooms, peering in to see someone’s back turned to him, facing the grand old piano. 

       His brain absentmindedly registers the melody as the ending song from a video game as he leans against the frame of the door, eyes drifting silently as he listens to the skilled melody. 

       He doesn’t recognize the song’s over, finally relaxed, until he hears a throat being cleared; looking up, he blushes when he sees Junhwe sitting at the piano bench staring at him. 

       “S-sorry. I was just… I was just walking by and I h-heard you playing so--”

       “It’s okay.” Junhwe’s voice is low as he turns back to the instrument, “You can sit down if you want.” 

       He hesitantly nods, slowly stepping over to the grand piano as he slides onto the bench beside him. With a soft breath, he watches as Junhwe’s long fingers dance over the ebony and ivory keys with polished skill. He briefly recognizes the song as Taeyang’s “Wedding Dress,” humming absentmindedly as he mouths the lyrics silently. 

       Donghyuk’s eyes droop close, the steady hum of the piano playing in his head as he unconsciously leans against the other male’s shoulder, yawning silently as he keeps playing. 

       Drifting in and out of sleep, he thinks he dreams that Junhwe is singing along; Dream Junhwe™ has a nice voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -happy belated valentine's day! actually meant to post this on the 14th but ran out of data ;;
> 
> -i swear jimin and yoongi are my favorite characters and have the healthiest relationship of them all and i low key love them
> 
> -actually, all of them (minus jundong/junhwan) have really healthy relationships
> 
> -i just imagine jungkook pushing hanbin into his room, no explanation or warning and locking him in there
> 
> -omg, i should've said fifty shades of black. what a missed opportunity. 
> 
> -lol, june being low key salty about needing math help. 
> 
> -i swear to god, jinhwan's story will make sense. 
> 
> -yo, bobby is a big dork around rappers. LETS BE REAL
> 
> -that last moment is honestly my favorite moment in this entire story. nothing i write will live up to that moment now. y'all should just give up reading now.
> 
> -also follow me on tumblr! let's be friends! @yaemeus


	4. Q & A - Seventeen (feat. Ailee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me know 나 왜 이러는지 모르겠어  
> 아무도 눈에 안 들어와 I don’t know why  
> Must be something in your eyes  
> 하루 종일 서로의 눈만 쳐다보다 시간이 가  
> \-----  
> (Let me know, don’t know why I behave like this  
> I see no one but you, I don’t know why  
> Must be something in your eyes  
> Time flies while we look into each other’s eyes)

**friday**

**Spring Showcase**

**Freshmen Dance Routine**

Kunpimook Bhuwakal

Lee Seokmin

Kwon Soon Young

Kim Yugyeom

Jung Jinhyung

Kim Yerin

Oh Hayoung

Jennie Kim

Park Chaeyoung

**Freshman Solo**

**Male -** Kim Donghyuk

**Female -** Park Sooyoung

\-----

**saturday**

       He sits idly at the same library table as last week; his fingers tapped nervously against the cool surface. He hasn’t seen Junhwe since Monday when he fell asleep on the other’s shoulder as he played the piano ( _he thinks he snored too. THINKS._ ). He’s been awkwardly dodging him on campus and in the dorm, which he thinks is quite a feat since he’s dating his roommate. But a promise is a promise and he promised Yoongi he’d help.

       He glanced at his watch; it’s already 6:30, where was this guy?

       Donghyuk reached into his jacket, unlocking his phone’s screen before scrolling through his text inbox for Junhwe’s name.

_Junhwe_

_hey im at the library. 6:33pm_

_in the back like last time 6:34pm_

       He stares at the screen, waiting for a reply like _“on my way!”_ or _“sorry! Something came up!”_ Nothing. Nada. The little texting bubble doesn’t even come up.

       He decides to wait a little bit more before he gives up and goes back to the dorm; just a few more minutes.

\-----

       He trudges up the stairs, backpack slung carelessly over his shoulder as he shuffles tiredly through the halls; it’s well past 8pm and he’s bit miffed that there wasn’t even a text from Junhwe. He’s annoyed and exhausted and all he wants is the comforting embrace of his bed.

       Donghyuk reaches into the front pocket of his backpack, pulling out a decorated Seoul U lanyard and pressing the key into the lock. He quietly swings open the door, expecting to be met with the peaceful silence of Jinhwan at some party or something but instead, is met with the image of his roommate and bleach blonde hair on the bed, watching some foreign film on their laptop.

       He glances at both of them before frustration bubbles inside of him; this is what Junhwe was doing instead of coming to tutoring? Donghyuk’s beyond annoyed and angry but he takes three deep breaths as he walks over to drop his backpack on his desk chair. He doesn’t glance at either of them, grabbing some sweats from the dresser, before finally speaking, “I’m going to sleep over at Jungkook’s.”

       He slams the door behind him, angrily stomping towards the showcase as he huffs out breaths.

\-----

       “It’s rude! We had a scheduled appointment and he doesn’t text me anything. No “I’m not coming” or “sorry!” Nothing. It’s just plain rude. I waited there for over two hours like an idiot.” He pulls his sweats on, tossing his jeans over Jungkook’s bed post.

       “You’re acting like you got stood up for a date.”

       Donghyuk turns to his best friend with a sharp glare, “I am not. I’m just saying isn’t it common courtesy to let the other person know you can’t make it?”

       “Yeah but maybe he just forgot? What I don’t get is why you stuck around for so long. I would’ve left within the first ten minutes.”

       “Well, I thought maybe he was running late with something--”

       “Yeah but two hours? Even I know that’s ridiculous. Why didn’t you just leave? It was obvious he wasn’t coming.”

       “Well, what if he had come and I had left? Then he gets angry at me.”

       “But that obviously didn’t happen.”

       “Obviously.” He averts his gaze, shuffling into Jungkook’s extra bed, “You know you really lucked out you got a double room without a roommate.”

       “What can I say? I’m golden. Plus it’s not my fault the system had a glitch and gave me a double room when I’m supposed to be in a single.”

       “Yeah, yeah, golden boy. Go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

       “Night, man.”

       “Night.” Donghyuk reaches out to turn off the lamp, enveloping the room in darkness.

\-----

**sunday**

       Donghyuk reached out to tie the apron behind his waist, tugging the little neon open sign on as the clock’s hands struck 9am. He stood idly by the counter, finishing up his morning tasks as he waited for customers to come in and out.

       Stocking the coffee beans in the back, he looked up when someone cleared their throat.

       Fucking bleach blonde hair.

       He does his best to remain calm and collected; he can’t really go on a rant at work. He steps up to the counter, voice unwavering, “Yes, how may I help you?”

       Junhwe freezes for a second before he snaps out of his trance or whatever. “Uh, medium peppermint mocha.”

       He nods, accepting the money as he rings him up, already working as quickly as possible to make the other man’s drink.

       “I’m sorry.”

       He doesn’t acknowledge the other’s comment, focusing on the espresso machine.

       “About yesterday. Something came up and I forgot to text you.”

       Donghyuk tops the drink off with a sprinkle of crushed candy canes, handing over the decorated paper cup. “Have a nice day.”

       “Donghyuk--”

       “I get it. Something came up. It’s fine. I’m over it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to stocking the backroom.”

       Junhwe looks like he has another thing to say but he doesn’t; nodding as he turns away from the barista, he moves to exit the little cafe.

       “Tomorrow, 7pm. Don’t be late.”

       The basketball player looks up, turning around to see Donghyuk stacking the paper cups by the register; the barista’s not looking at him but he grins nonetheless, “I’ll be there! Promise!”

\-----

       He channels this week’s energy into practice; the dance studio has long been empty since showcase practices ended an hour and a half ago but he still practices in front of the mirror, mentally critiquing his form.

       The front of his white tee is soaked in sweat, his feet throbbing as he plays the track one more time. Following the fluid rhythm, he curses when he has a misstep, throwing his entire routine off.

       “You should take a break.”

       He startles, looking at the studio door to see Junhwe leaning against the doorframe. “How long have you been standing there?”

       “Long enough to know you should stop.” The athlete steps over the threshold, pulling an unopened bottle of water and tossing it over.

       He nods gratefully, uncapping the plastic bottle and thirstily pouring the water down his throat. Donghyuk sits on the wooden floor, leaning against the mirrored walls as he takes deep breaths to steady his breathing.

       Junhwe sits in front of him, legs neatly crossed as he slumps his backpack on the floor. “You’re very talented.”

       His face heats up (from all the practice), eyes downcast, “Thanks.” He briefly wonders if they should address him falling asleep on the other’s shoulder last Monday. “Why are you here so late?”

       Junhwe looks up from his very interested gaze on his worn sneakers, “I like to play the piano sometimes… It relaxes me.”

       He nods silently, “You’re really good.” It’s the most he says about the other’s playing from Monday.

       “Thanks.”

       Donghyuk looks over at Junhwe; their eyes meet and for a second, he can’t seem to look away before he casts his gaze at the worn hem of his jeans, cheeks red.

       “Were you practicing for the spring showcase?” Junhwe’s tone is curious and soft in the large dance studio, like a secret was being shared between them.

       He nods, “Yeah, I’m actually practicing for the freshman solo.” He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, hair flopping carelessly across his forehead.

       “Really? That’s awesome!” Junhwe lights up, grinning warmly at him. “Can I see your routine or is it a secret?”

       He giggles, “I haven’t finished choreographing it.” He pauses, briefly stretching out his legs before adding, “But I can show you what I’ve got so far.”

       The athlete grins, already moving aside to give Donghyuk more room.

       He stands, walking towards the stereo and waiting for the track to play; the music begins with a hard beat as G-Dragon and Missy Elliot’s collaboration plays through the speakers. He gets through the first verse with ease, smiling widely at how naturally the moves are now.

       When the song fades out, he halts all his movements, pressing the stop button on the stereo before glancing at Junhwe. The basketball player looks at him with awe before he breaks into a wide smile, clapping his hands.

       He laughs, the flush traveling up his neck and to his face; he stares at the look on Junhwe’s face, blushing hotly as he grabs a towel off the floor and throwing it at him. “Stop staring!”

       Junhwe jokingly squawks, pretending to be offended as he grabs the thrown towel. He twists the white fabric, using it to slap him; he dissolves into laughter as Donghyuk begins chasing him, dodging more towels and empty water bottles as they fly through the air.

\-----

       The campus is completely empty; he kicks his feet against the pavement, laughter surrounding the air around him.

       “Anyway, we ended up getting caught by our third grade teacher. Got grounded for a week and me and Jungkook weren’t allowed to sit next to each other for the rest of the school year.”

       “And that’s the story of how you met your best friend?” Junhwe’s grin is from ear to ear, face flushed from all the laughter.

       “Yup. And for the record, I was a very good kid growing up, Jungkook happens to bring out the worst in me.” He jokingly blames, smiling as he stares at the athlete’s laughing form before glancing away.

       “At least you’ve got a friend to stick with you through thick and thin.”

       “Yeah… Yeah, I do.” He smiles warmly at the thought of his best friend, “What about you? Who’s your best friend?”

       Junhwe looks legitimately surprised before his gaze softens, “My best friend? His name’s Chanwoo, a little younger than us but a good kid.”

       He nods, carefully processing the information; Junhwe doesn’t offer any more detail so he doesn’t ask. They still have a few more blocks to go so he quietly looks down at his feet, comparing the worn sneakers to Junhwe’s own pair; they’re both old and worn but it seems like none of them are interested in getting new ones. “So, how long have you been with Jinhwan hyung?”

       The basketball player stills and he wonders if he crossed the line; Junhwe sighs, shoulders dropping slightly. “Well, I was a freshman in high school when we met. But we didn’t start dating until midway through my sophomore year.”

       “Oh. That’s a long time.” He thoughtfully observes; he pauses, trying to think of something else to say.

       “Yeah… Maybe too long.”

       He glances at Junhwe in surprise before realizing they’ve arrived at the dorms. Donghyuk wonders if he should comment on Junhwe’s last statement but the athlete clears his throat, breaking his concentration.

       “Good night.”

       He looks up; under the twinkling streetlamps, Junhwe’s blonde hair actually looks nice. He’s looking down at him with a soft look, bottom lip caught between teeth. His own lashes feel heavy, fluttering slightly as he stares up ( _“I’m just really exhausted,”_ he thinks). His voice is soft, barely above a whisper, “Good night.”

       They stare for another second before his voice of reason (AKA Jinwoo) returns ( _“Just, maybe, don’t sleep with him a third time”_ ). He pulls back like he’s been burned, rushing up the steps without looking back, nerves jittering as he escapes into the dorm.

_What the hell was that?_

\-----

**monday**

_kimbab_

_hey, what are you doing tonight? wanna grab dinner? 5:47pm_

_:c I can’t. im tutoring someone 6:13pm_

_:C 6:14pm_

_we haven’t seen each other in a while 6:14pm_

_come on, just cancel 6:15pm_

_Im sure your friend will understand 6:17pm_

_I really can’t 6:48pm_

_sorry 6:49pm_

_okay :C 6:51pm_

_ <kimbab has sent a [gif](https://media.giphy.com/media/pGcItGkNiFjkA/giphy.gif)> 6:53pm _

       He slides his phone back into his jeans pocket, navigating through the maze of shelves towards the back study table; he mentally groans when he sees someone’s occupying the table, lighting up when he sees that it’s actually Junhwe sitting down.

       “Hey!” He drops his textbooks on the wooden table, a resounding thump echoing before he takes his own seat. Donghyuk grins widely, beaming when Junhwe returns the smile as he pulls out his own textbooks. “You know, we should also talk about the presentation soon. It’s due in two weeks.”

       The basketball player nods, “Well, we’ve got the outline. All we really need to do is make the Powerpoint and practice what we’re going to say.”

       “That’s true. If we finish early today, want to start on the Powerpoint?”

       “Sure.” Junhwe flips open the calculus textbook, pencil poised on the blank notebook paper.

\-----

       “No more work.” Junhwe whines, leaning his cheek against the surface of his textbook.

       He chuckles, closing his laptop, “Alright, alright. We did get a lot done today.” Donghyuk chanced a glance at his watch, wincing when the little hands show it’s almost midnight. “Wow, we’ve almost been here for five hours.”

       Junhwe groans at the revelation, burying his face in endless papers and textbooks.

       “Okay, okay, we’re done. Let’s just clean up and go.”

       The basketball player weakly cheers, standing up to shuffle the papers and collect textbooks. He places his copy of their history book in his backpack, stacking the rest of the books together to return them to their rightful place on the shelves.

       Donghyuk smiles, gathering the rest of the papers and pens together as they clean up their table. He zips his items in his backpack, hoisting the bag over his shoulder; he waits for Junhwe to finish packing up his own things before grabbing half the stack of books, walking towards one of the library carts to drop off their used books.

       Junhwe follows his movements, dusting off his hands as they walk towards the exit of the library. They walk silently side by side, making their way back to the dorms; the midnight air is chilly as the wind blows quietly. He shivers, cursing himself for not bringing a jacket even in the early weeks of February.

       He huddles closer, practically hugging himself when he feels a warmth envelope him; he looks to his left to see Junhwe walking nonchalantly in just his black T-shirt, his sweater draped over his own shoulders. Donghyuk pauses, “You don’t have to--”

       “You’re cold.”

       He opens his mouth to argue but Junhwe glances at him and he stops. He whispers to himself, and maybe to Junhwe, “Okay.”

\-----

Awkward Things That Happen When Donghyuk’s Around Bobby

  1. Accidentally insinuating Jimin and Yoongi were doing another kind of sleeping together.
  2. Stomach growling in front of him.
  3. Walking home with Junhwe’s sweater on at midnight.



       Number three is the most awkward he thinks.

       Bobby is sitting on the dorm steps, tapping away at his phone when he looks up at the sound of nearing footsteps. He grins warmly, arm raised to wave enthusiastically; but he halts, smile frozen as he looks closer to see him and Junhwe walking up to the dorms.

       “Hi Bobby hyung.” Has his voice always been so timid?

       Bobby looks between them, arm lowered, “Hey. Where you guys coming from?”

       “The library. We were working on our history presentation.” He offers his best grin but the older male doesn’t seem to be looking at him anymore.

       Junhwe doesn’t acknowledge his teammate, turning to him, “Good night, Donghyuk.”

       “W-wait! Don’t you need your hoodie?” Donghyuk shifts to remove the sweater but a warm hand stops him.

       “Give it to me later.” Junhwe turns around without another glance, heading down the street to the Sejong dorm.

       They stand under the street lamps, watching his retreating figure before he turns to Bobby. “Hey, hyung. Were you waiting here for me?”

       The aforementioned male snaps out of whatever trance he’s in, turning to face him with a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you after your tutoring session.”

       He feels bad now; Bobby could’ve been waiting here for hours and he was with Junhwe. He didn’t even answer the nine texts that the other sent him, too engrossed by his project and tutoring (and Junhwe). “Oh, I’m sorry. We just got distracted by--”

       “It’s okay. It’s not like you did it on purpose.” And Bobby flashes him that grin again and he feels worse. Of course he didn’t do it on purpose but he still feels awful.

       “You should go inside; you’re going to catch a cold, otherwise.” Bobby pats him on the shoulder, ushering him into the dorms. “I’ll return Junhwe’s sweater.” He reaches forward, pulling the sweater from his shoulders.

       Donghyuk nods, jogging up the steps as he waves goodbye; his shoulders feel bare and cold now but he slips into the dorm that he doesn’t dwell on it.

\-----

**tuesday**

       “Is there a reason you’re here, distracting me from my work?” He wipes down the espresso machine, glancing over the counter with an unimpressed look.

       “I’m not distracting you. I’m a paying customer.”

       He shoots him another look.

       “I’m trying to get my mind away from Taehyung and this guy who I swear is flirting with him.”

       Donghyuk hums, fulfilling another order, “Small hot chocolate for Jongup.”

       “This guy won’t leave Taehyung alone! Everywhere I look, there they are-- Oh, my god, there they are!” He points to the couple walking in to the cafe, grinning and laughing loudly.

       He glances over his shoulder to see them together, tilting his head before he internally laughs. “Hi Hoseok hyung, Taehyung hyung.” In the corner of his eye he can see Jungkook shoot him a look of betrayal but he ignores it. “What can I get for you guys?”

       “I’m going to have a strawberry banana smoothie. Tae, do you want anything?”

       “I want…” He stares at the menu board hanging over the baristas, “I don’t know what I want-- Jungkookie!” Taehyung abandons the drinks, immediately latching onto his best friend with a boxy grin. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

       Hoseok shakes his head, looking back at Donghyuk with a smile, “Just the smoothie then.” He hands over his debit card, swiping quickly before stepping aside for the next customer.

       Donghyuk finishes blending the concoction, pouring the pink creamy liquid into a clear plastic cup, inserting a colorful straw before handing it to his senior. “Here you go, Hoseok hyung.”

       The male smiles, thanking him before wringing an arm around Taehyung’s neck, “Alright, alright, leave the poor kid alone. We’ve got some studying to do.”

       Taehyung’s bottom lip juts out into a pout before he reluctantly pulls away, waving goodbye enthusiastically as the two older students head back into the library.

       “You know that guy!?”

       He makes a show of pretending to wipe away spit from his face after Jungkook’s betrayed shout. He briefly considers making his best friend suffer but the look on his face pulls at his heartstrings. “Yeah, he’s the president of the dance club.” He scrubs at a chocolate stain left on the counter. “And he has a girlfriend.”

       “Wait, seriously?” Jungkook looks at him with so much hope and relief.

       Donghyuk nods, “Yeah, that or he just really likes kissing Jooyeon noona.”

       His best friend lights up at the news, taking a sip of his green apple smoothie with a giddy grin before he gathers his books. “Well, I’ll stop bothering you then. I have some chemistry homework I need help with.” He practically skips out of the cafe

       He shakes his head fondly, turning back to the register with a smile. He looks up to greet the next customer, pausing for a moment when he faces Junhwe before clearing his throat, “Your usual or…?”

       “Y-yeah. I mean, yes please.”

       He nods, lips tugging into a smile as he turns to start preparing a peppermint mocha. He peeks to see Junhwe grabbing one of the tables by the window, pulling out different textbooks and notebooks, setting them on the flat surface before he reaches into his bag for his pencil. He watches for a brief second, topping the drink off with the usual sprinkle of crushed candy canes.

       He moves past the counter, walking over to the windows, and setting the red cup on the table. “Special delivery for one Koo Junhwe.”

       The basketball player grins, “Do I need to sign for this or anything…?”

       “Please, I don’t want your autograph. Although, I bet I could sell it to one of your adoring fans.”

       Junhwe guffaws (legitimately guffaws) before looking at him again. “Are you off work now?”

       “Nah, but I can take my fifteen break now. It’s not really busy and Seungyoon hyung can handle it.” He takes a seat, glancing over the different textbooks laid out on the desk. He curiously stared at the different charts and graphs that document global economic trends. “Are you studying for a test?”

       “Yeah, the mid term exam is in two weeks.”

       “That’s pretty close to when our presentation is.” Donghyuk looks over the other male’s notes, handwriting scribbled closely to squeeze in a few extra words at the end. “Are you nervous?”

       “It should be fine. I’ve done pretty well on the quizzes so far.”

       “That’s good. Do you like it?”

       Junhwe looks like he wants to say something, biting his lip before he sighs softly, “I’m good at it.”

       “That wasn’t my question.”

       “What does it matter if it’s going to pay the bills?” He shrugs sheepishly, mindlessly flipping through the pages back and forth.

       “If you don’t like it now, you’re going to hate it in the future.”

       Junhwe doesn’t seem too bothered by that statement, staring down at his paper.

       “Well, I should get back to work.” The athlete doesn’t say anything, pretending to be focused on his paper. He sighs softly, turning back to head to the counter.

\-----

       He’s on the last hour of a four hour shift, rocking back and forth as he stares at the clock for the umpteenth time to calculate how many minutes he has left before he’s off work. Donghyuk drags his eyes away from the clock, glancing over to see Junhwe still diligently working on his economics notes. He thinks about going over there with a cup of hot chocolate, subconsciously already moving to heat the milk.

       He looks up when the little bell rings, a new customer walking in; his gaze follows to see his roommate, backpack hoisted, walking towards Junhwe. Jinhwan takes a seat in the other chair, smiling and whispering something to the athlete. Junhwe flashes a small smile, clearing away some space for the other male to place his own things on the table.

       “Crap!” He jerks his hand away, steamed milk overflowing from the pot; he looks at his reddened skin, placing it under the faucet to run ice cold water over it. He sighs in brief relief at the cooling sensation, looking up when the bell rang again.

       Donghyuk freezes when Bobby bounds in, grinning widely at him before his eyes fall on him holding his hand.

       “What happened? Are you hurt?”

       “I just, I just accidentally spilled some hot milk on my hand. I’m fine.” He thinks he hears the scratch of a chair being pushed but he doesn’t look to check.

       “You should be more careful.” Bobby gently chastises; he cranes his neck over the counter to try and get a better look. “That looks pretty red, are you sure you don’t want to go to the health center to check?”

       “I’m fine hyung--”

       There’s a warm hand grabbing his wrist, holding it steady as another hand gently rubs some sort of ointment over the burn, covering it with a Star Wars **©** themed band-aid.

       He stares at his hand, looking up to see Junhwe’s brows furrowed in concentration; he slowly pulls away as the basketball player finishes sticking the bandage on his hand. “Thanks…” His voice is breathless and he takes half a step back because he remembers Jinhwan and Bobby are here.

       Junhwe seems to remember then too, stepping back away from the counter as he turns to head back to his table.

       Bobby and Jinhwan stare at both of them curiously, gently pulling away to look back at their respective partners. Donghyuk stares down at his hand, staring at the printed image of Han Solo on his hand, not wanting to confront any of what just happened.

       Bobby clears his throat, “Well, that was nice of Junhwe to help out.” He offers a smile; Jinhwan nods slowly, eyes still darting between them. “You must be Junhwe’s boyfriend. I don’t think we’ve ever met. I’m on the basketball team with Junhwe.” He goes over to the table, introducing himself; Junhwe seems to be reading his textbook, not paying attention to the rest of his surroundings.

       “Jinhwan. Junhwe’s boyfriend and Donghyuk’s roommate.”

       “What? Really? Small world.”

       “Yeah, really small.” Jinhwan’s being sarcastic but the athlete doesn’t notice.

       “Well, like I said, I’m Junhwe’s teammate and hopefully, Donghyuk’s future boyfriend.”

       He chokes silently at that, ears flaming at how confident the other sounds; he glances at Junhwe briefly ( _his knuckles seem tense_ ).

       “Oh, well, I hope everything works out between you two.”

       “Me too.” Bobby’s lips are stretched wide, “Hey, what are you guys doing Valentine’s day? It’s in like a week.”

       “Me and Junhwe haven’t really thought about it.”

       “Then how about a double date? It’ll be fun, promise!” And the basketball player looks so gleeful and excited.

       “Junhwe, what do you think?”

\-----

**wednesday**

       “You’re telling me that you have a double date with the guy you drunkenly hooked up with?”

       Donghyuk begins researching ways to get rid of his best friend. “Will you stop laughing?” He slaps Jungkook’s arm, angrily glaring at his laughing form bent over his bed. “It’s not funny! This is my life!”

       That only spurs more laughter.

       What had he done to deserve this?

\-----

**thursday**

       “Alright, good job everyone. I’ll see you all Sunday night.” Hoseok clears out the room, grabbing his duffel from the corner of the room, reminding everyone of showcase practices this weekend. “Hey, Donghyuk, you going to stay here a bit more?”

       “If you don’t mind, hyung.”

       “No problem. Just remember to lock the door when you’re finished.”

       He nods, moving his stuff to the corner as he drags a CD from the pocket, slipping it into the stereo.

       Channeling everything he has, he pops and locks through his routine, stopping when the music ends; he stares at his reflection, mind racing as he tries to choreograph the next part of his solo routine. He buries his head in his hands with frustration when nothing comes to mind.

       “Knock, knock.”

       Donghyuk looked up, looking over his shoulder to see Junhwe leaning against the open door frame. He unconsciously smiles, “Hey.”

       “Hey. Was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” Junhwe steps over the threshold, pulling out a clean bottle of water and an unwrapped cookie. He tosses the items over to him. The basketball player takes a seat on the polished floor, crossing his legs as he leans against the wall.

       He uncaps the water, taking a refreshing swig before he unwraps the cookie, taking a large bite. They sit in silence for a long moment before he speaks up, “Why’d you say yes?”

       Junhwe plays with the hem of his hooded sweatshirt, humming nonchalantly.

       “Why’d you say yes to the double date?”

       “Thought it’d be fun.”

       “You and I both know that’s not true.”

       “Do we?”

       “Junhwe.”

       He doesn’t respond; Donghyuk sighs about to give up and go back to dancing. “I don’t know why I said yes. I just did before I could realize what I did.”

       They don’t say anything after that; Donghyuk goes back to dancing and Junhwe watches silently from the side.

\-----

**valentine’s day**

       Donghyuk stares at the mirror glued to the back of their room door; he smooths his hands over the soft white shirt before wrapping a black checkered shirt around his hips. He grabbed his favorite leather jacket from the back of his desk chair, slipping it on as he ran a hand hopelessly through his hair, sighing softly as he overthinks his wardrobe choice again.

       He looks up when Jinhwan exits the bathroom, walking confidently in his all black ensemble before he grabs a oversized denim jacket, easily slipping into the distressed material.

       “Is that what you’re wearing?”

       Donghyuk looks over his reflection, glancing at Jinhwan, “Yeah.”

       His roommate pauses, “You look nice.”

       He’s not sure if that’s a genuine compliment but takes it nonetheless. “Thanks. You too.”

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

       They both look over at the door; Donghyuk moves slowly, taking one last deep breath before he opens their door.

\-----

       He hides behind his menu, staring at indecipherable Italian words, pretending to be contemplating over what to order.

       “So, Jinhwan, what are you studying?”

       “I’m studying linguistics with a minor in music.”

       “Really? That must be exciting.” Bobby grins over his menu, “I can’t believe Junhwe’s never introduced us before. He’s so secretive.”

       “I like to say he’s shy but I think he’s just a cat stuck in a human’s body.” The older students laugh at that comment. “So, how’d you guys meet?”

       “We met at one of Yoongi hyung’s legendary victory parties.” The basketball player’s eyes crinkle happily. “But I actually saw him in the crowd at the game. He looked really cute that day.”

       “That’s sweet. Our story is so overrated. High school sweethearts, blah blah blah.” Jinhwan mocks, smiling at Bobby. (This is the most he’s ever seen his roommate smile and honestly, it’s a little weird.)

       “Oh, come on. There’s gotta be more.”

       “Well, Junhwe was the freshman I was assigned to show around class. He was this huge history nerd that only wore black and would glare at everyone.”

       Bobby laughs, “I can totally see that.”

       “Anyway, he used to follow me around like a puppy because he didn’t know anyone else. He finally grew the courage to ask me out like a year later. And we’ve been together ever since.”

       Bobby just has this dreamy smile as he listens to their story. “That’s amazing. Not many couples can say they’ve been together that long.”

       “It’s really nothing.”

       “But it’s not! So many people would kill to have a relationship like you guys.”

       “Would they?” Junhwe mutters under his breath; nobody else hears him but Donghyuk who hides his laugh behind a cough.

       “What’s the secret to such a long lasting relationship?”

       Jinhwan grins, completely engrossed in giving Bobby some advice. “Well, communication--”

       “Jealousy. Insecurity.” Junhwe is mouthing the words, facing him with a roll of his eyes; he chokes on his water laughing.

       “Trust is a big one. Always trust the person.”

       Junhwe now stares at Jinhwan like he’s grown three heads before turning back to pick at the bread basket in the middle of the table.

       “Wow. I hope we can find something like you guys.”

       This time both Junhwe and Donghyuk choke on their laughter.

\-----

       “What should we have for dessert?”

       “Should we share?” Jinhwan offers, looking over the extensive dessert menu. “There’s a chocolate raspberry trifle.” His roommate points at the item near the bottom of the leather bound menu.

       “That sounds good. Should we just order two of those?”

       “I don’t really like raspberries.” Donghyuk admits.

       “I’m not a big fan of that much chocolate. It’s too rich.” Junhwe complains.

       “Well, then what do you think we should order?”

       “There’s a strawberry cheesecake.” He offers, staring at the last menu item.

       “That sounds good.” Junhwe grins. “We could get one of each.”

       “So,cheesecake isn’t too rich but chocolate is?”

       All three of them look over at Junhwe who shrugs sheepishly.

       None of them comment any further, the waiter dropping by to pick up their dessert orders.

       He glances at Junhwe smiling through his dessert. ( _“It’s just he really likes strawberries.” “Sure, did you guys use strawberry flavored lube when--” “I’m not afraid to choke you, Jungkook.”_ )

\-----

**wednesday**

_Slam!_

       He stares at a packet of papers, red handwriting in the upper right hand corner reading “89” perfectly circled. Donghyuk looks blankly, finally looking up to see Junhwe grinning down at him.

       “Do you see that? I got an 89 on my calc test!” The basketball player pulls out the other library chair, slumping into the seat with a wide grin.

       He mirrors the smile, “Congratulations!”

       “No curve, nothing!”

       “That’s awesome. I’m proud of you.”

       “Thanks, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

       He smiles, cheeks pink from the compliment before he clears his throat. “Well, we need to finish up our history presentation.”

       Junhwe groans, leaning back against the chair, “I just got here. Can’t we take a little break before we start working?”

       “Fine, fine.” He jokingly rolls his eyes, grinning at the other male. “So are we going to talk about how awkward Valentine’s day is or just repress it from our memories?”

       “I am all for repressing it.” The basketball player lazily grins, “That was the worst date I’ve ever been on.”

       “No. That’s not the worst date I’ve ever been on.”

       “Really? A double date on Valentine’s day with your roommate and your history partner is not the weirdest date you’ve ever been on?”

       “You said worst date. That date was hands down my weirdest date not my worst.”

       “Oh, I apologize for the error.” Junhwe puts his hands up in mock surrender. “Well, then what was your worst date?”

       “My worst date was with my brother’s fiance’s best friend. He took me to a sketchy neighborhood to watch him rap in some underground competition.”

       “Yikes.”

       “That wasn’t even the worst part. He tried to make out with me and I kept my eyes open the _whole_ time.”

       “What? Why?” Junhwe’s holding his stomach from laughing too much.

       “Because the clock was behind him and I wanted to see when this would be over. Most awkward two and a half minutes of my life.”

       A librarian walks by to shush them; Junhwe apologizes between his chuckles, looking at Donghyuk with a smirk when she walks away. “Alright, you’re right. That’s the worst date.”

       “I told you.” His lip tugs into a grin, “I had to get my best friend to call me with a fake emergency so I could leave.”

\-----

       The librarian eventually walks by again with a frown, telling them they’re causing a disturbance and that they need to leave. Donghyuk can’t stop laughing, biting his lip to stifle the sound as they awkwardly apologize; Junhwe drags him by his arm, lips stretched into a grin as they make their way out of the library.

       As soon as they step out into the cool air, they take one glance at each other before practically falling over in laughter.

       “I’ve never been kicked out of a library before.” Donghyuk chuckles, wiping away a stray tear from laughing too much.

       Junhwe laughs, “We didn’t even get any work done.”

       The comment makes Donghyuk smile harder as they walk over to one of the empty benches on campus. They set their things beside them, catching their breaths as they sit quietly next to each other.

       Silence falls between them as they sit together, gazing up at the Seoul night sky. The stars are bright against the dark canvas of the night, twinkling overhead. He smiles warmly at them, glancing to the side to see Junhwe staring at him; he immediately moves to touch his face, “Is there something on my face? You have to tell me if there’s something on my face.”

       The basketball player smiles sheepishly, “You’re good.”

       Donghyuk pauses, “Then why are you staring at me?”

       He shrugs, eyes flitting over his face before he looks away again.

       “Okay, weirdo.” He teases, drawing out a chuckle from the other male.

\-----

**thursday**

       “What do you think? Is it weird to ask?”

       “If you’re that confused, just ask him what your relationship is.”

       “But what if he doesn’t want to date me?”

       “Jungkook, if you could see the way Taehyung hyung looks at you, you’d know that’s not true. You’re just being dumb. He likes you. You like him. Now just officially ask him out so I don’t have to listen to you whine.”

       His best friend pouts as Yugyeom snickers, making their way up the dorm stairs to the third floor. They’re about to round the corner down the hall when they hear loud voices shouting; they all freeze glancing at each other.

       “Fine! Let’s break up then!”

       Donghyuk recognizes his roommate’s voice and then the resounding slam of the door; they all look at each other in panic when they hear the sound of someone approaching.

       “Pretend you weren’t listening!” Yugyeom hushes.

       “What does that even look like?” Jungkook retorts, flailing against the wall when the steps get closer. He awkwardly leans against the stairwell’s railing, arms poised above his head. “Sup, man?” He does a poor imitation of a sports nod as Junhwe finally walks by them.

       “Hey.” Junhwe murmurs, walking by them slowly; they make eye contact and he offers a small smile that the basketball player returns before he walks down the stairs, disappearing around the corner.

       “God, that was weird.”

       He nods slowly, looking up to see Jungkook and Yugyeom already making their way back to the dorms. _What was that about?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be a bit slower with updates because I'm editing right now because I'm not sure I really like the chapter I'm writing right now. 
> 
> also that date story is actually true. went on the most awkward date and he tried to make out with me and i kept my eyes open and stared at the clock because I was just " WHEN IS THIS OVER???? "
> 
> anyway, please comment!


	5. Stay With Me - Sam Smith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand  
> But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man  
> These nights never seem to go to plan  
> I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

**sunday**

       “So you ready for our presentation tomorrow?” He leans against the mirrored wall, glancing at Junhwe as he lays down lazily on the hardwood floors. 

       The basketball player groans, “No.” His voice is muffled as he crosses his arms over his face in annoyance. “I hate public speaking.”

       Donghyuk grins, kicking the other’s leg lightly, “Everyone hates public speaking.” He smiles as Junhwe huffs out a breath in frustration. “But you’ll do great. I believe in you.”

       The athlete peeks from under his arms, teeth flashing in a small smile, “Thanks.” 

       They sit together in silence, the quiet hum of the fluorescent lights in the studio in the background. He glances at Junhwe again, staring curiously for a long second before clearing his throat. “Why’d you do it?”

       “Do what?” He mumbles, not even bothering to look at him. 

       “Why’d you guys break up?”

       Junhwe sighs, peeling his arms away to sit up; he shifts to lean against the opposite wall, staring at him with an unreadable expression. “I don’t know.” He looks down at his hands, avoiding eye contact, “I just couldn’t keep… We were unhappy so it made sense, you know?”

       He looks so lost, so broken; Donghyuk slowly moves to sit beside him, carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders with a comforting pat. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” 

       The basketball player buries his face in his shoulder and he doesn’t mention anything. The night ends in silence. 

\-----

**monday**

       Donghyuk jerks awake, blinking rapidly as he tries to process where he is; his muscles are sore and joints stiff as he sits up. He turns to his left to see the studio’s mirrored wall and his messy reflection with wild hair and yesterday’s black T-shirt. He glances to his right to see Junhwe sound asleep, using his jacket as a makeshift pillow as one arm stretches across ( _ it’s obvious Donghyuk was using him as a pillow but he doesn’t address that _ ). 

       With a panicked look, he searched for his phone, squinting at the bright screen to see the time read clearly, “11:12AM.” 

       “Shit, shit, shit.” He turns to Junhwe, shaking him quickly, “Junhwe, wake up! It’s past 11! We have class in less than an hour!” The other male groaned, flapping his arm to try and push Donghyuk away. He leaned forward to yell in his ear, “We have fifty minutes to get to history class for our presentation!” That definitely wakes him up. 

       Junhwe sits up, completely disorientated as he glares tiredly at his surroundings, “W-where are we?”

       “Dance studio. Now we have forty five minutes to get ready and get to class to present our mid term presentation. So move!” Donghyuk gathers all of his things in his arms, tossing Junhwe his jacket, scurrying out of the practice room with the other male trailing close behind.

\-----

       They rush into the classroom, running their hands through their hair in an attempt to tame it; the professor shoots them a look as they make their way to two empty seats in the back of the lecture hall, trying not to draw any more attention to them. 

       “As I was saying,” Professor Son pauses to glare at them causing Donghyuk to shrink in his seat, “Your presentations amount to 25% of your final grade so I hope for your sake, you did not push this assignment off to the last minute. There will be no grading curve but rest assured, if you truly did your research, your hard work and effort will be reflected in the presentation. Now, for our first group, why don’t we let our little latecomers present first?”

       Their faces shoot up, worry and dread written clearly on their expressions. ( _ “I’d rather not go at all.” “Junhwe! This is 25% of our final grade, of course, we’re going.” _ ) Donghyuk nods timidly, “Of course, Professor Son.” He grabs Junhwe’s arm to prevent him from running away as they make their way to the front of the classroom. Donghyuk pushes the other male to set up their presentation on the screen, facing the class with a friendly grin. 

       Donghyuk has a list of cliche phrases he says to keep himself off the edge:

  1. You got this.
  2. What’s the worst that could happen?
  3. It’s just a presentation. 
  4. No big deal. 
  5. Nothing’s going to go wrong. 



       Which is then followed by a list of things his anxiety says:

  1. You got this. _You don’t got this._
  2. What’s the worst that could happen? _You fail and and in return, Junhwe fails._
  3. It’s just a presentation. _That is 25% of your final grade._
  4. No big deal. _See above._
  5. Nothing’s going to go wrong. _EVERYTHING could go wrong. You could mess up and then you and Junhwe will fail and he won’t be able to keep his GPA above 2.9 and he’ll never play basketball ever again and it’ll be all your fault._



       Deep breaths; he glances over his shoulder to see Junhwe smiling encouragingly at him.  _ You can do this.  _

\-----

       “I can’t believe it! An A! We got an A on our presentation!” Donghyuk cheers, jumping in excitement as they stand outside the classroom. 

       Junhwe grins, eyes bright as they high-five each other for their successful presentation. “We never have to worry about this history presentation again. We’re free!”

       He laughs at the basketball player’s joyful cry. “Hey, wanna grab lunch? We didn’t eat breakfast since we had to rush to class.”

       “God, yes. I’m starving.” Junhwe slumps his arm around his shoulder, dragging him to the nearest dining hall on campus. He laughs at the hunger-stricken expression, jogging along to Junhwe’s pace. 

\-----

**tuesday**

       “Donghyuk, I don’t want to study.” Junhwe whines, leaning against the front counter with a scowl. 

       “Too bad, your econ test is in two days and you still haven’t read the last three chapters.” He grins as a customer picks up their drink, thanking them for their tip. 

       “But it’s so boring.”

       “It’s your major.”

       Junhwe groans again, burying his face in his hands. 

       “Alright, if you can study for the next hour and a half by yourself, I’ll give you a free drink, on the house.”

       The basketball player peeks through his fingers, “You’re serious?”

       “Cross my heart.”

       “Fine.” Junhwe rolls his eyes in exaggeration, dragging his feet to a corner table by the window, reluctantly pulling out his books. 

       He smiles, turning back to the espresso machine to finish orders. 

\-----

       “Your reward: one peppermint--” Junhwe slaps a hand over his mouth, glaring when he sees that Donghyuk’s about to burst out laughing. 

       “Don’t laugh. It’s a delicious drink.”

       “I know that. It’s my favorite drink; I recommended it to you, remember?”

       The other male pauses, reflecting before his cheeks flush. “Whatever.” 

       “So, let’s see how much you’ve finished.” Donghyuk reads over the notes he’s written so far, nodding as he reads along. “So you finished most of the chapters. You just need to review now.” He smiles, moving forward to wipe away a bit of whipped cream from the other’s chin. 

       Junhwe stares at him before he shakes out of his reverie. “Y-yeah, just need to review now.”

       He grins, “Want me to quiz you?”

       “Yeah, that’d be helpful.”

       Donghyuk smiles, shuffling through notecards and papers. 

\-----

**thursday**

_ june babo _

_ I passed! 1:53pm _

_ 92% 1:54pm _

_ 96% with the curve 1:54pm  _

_ Congratulations! 1:55pm _

_ :))))))) 1:56pm _

_ u going to the game tomorrow? 1:57pm _

_ Of course! 1:58pm _

_ Bobby hyung invited me  to see you guys practice before the match1:59pm _

_ (read 2:01pm) _

\-----

**friday**

       Donghyuk grins as he sees Jimin waving excitedly from the sidelines, seats already saved for their little group; the older boy says something to Yoongi, smiling widely as he makes his way down to the court. 

       “Hi Jimin hyung, Yoongi hyung.” 

       The older students grin at him, the former grabbing his arm to seat him next to him. 

       “Bobby’s been practicing extra hard to impress you.”

       He blushes at Yoongi’s teasing, looking away at the court as different players practice their free throws and stretch leisurely along the sidelines. He notices bleach blonde hair in the corner, dribbling the orange basketball with ease. “Junhwe!” 

       The aforementioned male looks up, grin blooming on his face when he recognizes Donghyuk. He lifts his arm to wave, right before he’s smacked in the head with a basketball.

       Donghyuk can’t stifle his laugh, already moving off his seat to run over to the other male; in between his laughing, he asks, “Are you okay?”

       Junhwe groans, pressing his hand against his head, “Never been better. Why do you ask?”

       He smiles, playfully punching his arm, “You’re going to be fine.” Donghyuk grabs the ball that hit him, sheepishly tossing it to the other man, “I better get out of here. I wouldn’t want a head injury like you.” He jogs back to the bleachers, pausing when he sees Bobby hanging with Jimin and Yoongi. “Hey, Bobby hyung.”

       The aforementioned male turns around with a brilliant grin, eyes crinkled happily, “Donghyuk! Glad you could make it!”

       He smiles, “Of course, hyung! Thanks for inviting me. I didn’t even know you guys had private practices before the game.” 

       “It’s not so much of a practice as it is an excuse for everyone to goof off.” Yoongi jokes. 

       Donghyuk grins, “Still it’s cool to see all these athletes up close.” 

       Bobby beams, snaking an arm around his shoulder as they continue to converse with the team captain and his boyfriend. 

       “Is there going to be another party at Yoongi hyung’s house?” He teasingly asks, enjoying the dread that dawns on his face. 

       “God, I hope not. I don’t know if I can handle another one of Taehyung’s ‘legendary’ parties.” He brings his hands up to make little air quotes. 

       “Come on, they’re fun!” Jimin persuades with a convincing pout. “Everyone will go. Donghyuk will go! Bobby will go--”

       “Actually, I can’t go. Not tonight, anyways. It’s my grandmother’s seventy-fifth birthday this weekend so I’m taking the midnight bus to visit her in the countryside with the rest of my family.” He explains with an apologetic smile towards Jimin. 

       “Oh. But still, if he could go, I bet you, he would.”

       “That’s true, cap. If I could go, I would.”

       Yoongi groans loudly, eyes closed as he slumps on the bench, “What’s the point of asking? You know Taehyung’s going to throw a party whether I want it or not.”

       “That’s the spirit.” He encourages, laughing when Yoongi turns a teasing glare at him. 

\-----

       The crowd is already wild as everyone buzzes with excitement for tonight’s game; Yugyeom claims a seat next to him, forcing Jungkook to confront Taehyung who’s cheering loudly as the players step onto the court. They smirk at their friend’s obvious nerves, unsure of how to interact with the man he has such strong feelings for. 

       Donghyuk looks up to see the athletes run onto the court, Junhwe’s bleach blonde hair sticking out like a sore thumb. He grins when the aforementioned male waves at him, smiling warmly before he runs up to the huddle of players at the other end of the court. 

       “What was that?”

       “What was what?” He looks up at Yugyeom, tilting his head in confusion. 

       “That. Your roommate’s ex-boyfriend waved at you.” 

       “He was just being friendly. We’re sort of friends.” 

       Yugyeom shoots him an indecipherable glance before turning back to the game, clapping his hands as the school’s band begins playing. 

       The moment isn’t lost on him as he turns to glance back at Junhwe, grinning widely when they make eye contact. 

\-----

       “Five! Four! Three! Two!” The crowd cheered as the buzzer buzzed loudly in the court, ending the game just as Junhwe shot another basket into the hoop, cementing their 122 to 105 victory. 

       Their group immediately rushed the court, students pouring in, to congratulate the basketball team on their win. Jimin jumped into Yoongi’s arms, who catches him with practiced ease, laughing as the former peppered kisses on his face. 

       “Party at Yoongi’s!” Taehyung’s voice was loud even among a sea of excited college students. The student body cheered, already moving to head to the familiar apartment. 

       He shook his head fondly, watching as Jungkook dragged Yugyeom to follow the student aide out the stadium. Donghyuk yelped when he felt an arm around his waist, turning around to see Bobby grinning down at him. “Congrats, hyung! You were great!”

       The other beams, “Thanks! I really wish I could stay but I gotta shower and grab my stuff from my apartment if I wanna make that bus.”

       “No worries! I’ll see you when you get back!”

       “Of course!” Bobby flashes one last grin, running off the court with a shout of goodbye. 

       He waves, standing still as the rest of the crowd slowly disperses. Donghyuk’s left standing alone in the middle of the basketball court, sighing softly as he turns around to leave; he walks into a firm body, looking up in surprise before grinning when he sees bleach blonde hair. “Hey. Good game. That last shot was cool.” 

       “Thanks.” Junhwe has a dopey grin, “Are you going to Yoongi hyung’s party?”

       “I think I’ll stop by.”

       “Cool.” Junhwe pauses, using a towel to wipe the sweat off his brow, “Is Bobby hyung going?”

       “No.” He sighs in exaggerated exasperation, “He’s going to see his family this weekend.” Donghyuk follows Junhwe as he walks to the bench to grab his water bottle, “Are you going to the party?”

       “I think I’ll stop by.” Junhwe parrots with a smug grin, dodging the other’s playful punch. 

\-----

       The party’s in full swing as they walk up to the apartment complex. 

       “I bet Yoongi hyung’s neighbors hate him.” Junhwe comments, sliding the building’s door open before they make their way upstairs. 

       He hums in agreement, smiling as they round the staircase and see the apartment door already wide open; there’s students everywhere as they nurse drinks together. Donghyuk briefly considers looking for Taehyung or Yugyeom but it’s hard to see anyone through the mass of people. 

       “Here.”

       He looks down to see a familiar red Solo cup pressed into his hand, glancing up to see Junhwe grinning at him. Donghyuk smiles back, taking a sip of the beverage and humming when he realizes it's a mixed cocktail of Coke and whiskey. 

       The basketball player is nursing his own cup, reaching down carefully to grab his other hand before guiding him through the crowd. They nod and wave at some of their familiar classmates before Junhwe leads them out to the balcony. “Finally. Thought I was going to overheat in there.”

       Chuckling, he takes another sip. “Oh, you’re fine.” He hums contentedly when a breeze of chilly Seoul air hits him. “How’d you know I like Coke and whiskey?”

       Junhwe looks up, stunned before he murmurs a quick response, “I, uh, didn’t. I like Coke and whiskey so I just made two.”

       “Oh.” Donghyuk shrugs sheepishly, tilting his cup all the way back as he drinks the last of the beverage. “I’m going to get some more--”

       “No, it’s okay. I’ll get it. I’m out too.” Junhwe shows him his empty cup before he steps back into the throes of the party, navigating through the crowd. 

\-----

       They were sitting on cheap patio furniture, grinning at the night sky. It was mostly a clear night, stray clouds drifting to cover the pale moon as they drunk their weight in beers and alcohol. 

       “You did not.” Junhwe almost spills his drink from laughing too much. 

       “I swear I did. I had to  _ actually  _ help my brother uncuff his boyfriend from their headboard on their one year anniversary. Couldn’t look at either of them for a month.”

       “But how?”

       “My brother’s not exactly the most attentive person. He said he found the key a week later when he vacuumed the entire apartment.” He reaches for his cup again, drinking the last remains of his Coke and whiskey. “But you can’t tell anyone! I promised them I would never tell anyone. I haven’t even told my best friend this story.” 

       Junhwe raises his hands in mock surrender, crossing his fingers over his heart. “I promise not to tell anyone.” He has a bright grin on his face before he starts laughing. 

       “I’m serious! You can’t tell anyone!” He whines, stopping when the other male finally relents. 

       “I promise, I promise.” He holds his right hand up to show his sincerity. Junhwe glances at Donghyuk’s empty cup. “Do you want a refill?”

       He nods, fluttering his eyelashes drunkenly, “Yes please.” 

       The athlete laughs softly, standing up from his seat before he makes his way past the glass door and back into the apartment. 

       He watches lazily as Junhwe gets lost in the dwindling group of party-goers, smiling warmly at how he heads into the covered kitchen to grab more drinks. Donghyuk pulls away slowly, glancing at Junhwe’s cup left on the patio table between them. “He could’ve just given me his.” He murmurs, reaching for the cup with a shaky hand; he takes a long sip, pausing when he realizes it’s not Coca Cola and whiskey but just regular Coca Cola. He grimaces in confusion at the taste, setting the cup back where it was just as Junhwe waltzes back in. 

       Donghyuk means to ask why their drinks are different but Junhwe brings with him a couple slices of pizza. He makes grabby hands, and the other male laughs, handing him a paper plate. 

\-----

       The party dies down and the blurry numbers on his phone tell him it’s either 3:22am or 3:52pm; his face is red and his skin feels hot even with the Seoul breeze surrounding him. 

       “ **_Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima_ ** .” He sings loudly, practically shouting into the streets. “ **_Cause you should be my lady~_ ** ” Donghyuk presses his cheek against something soft, rubbing gently at the material. “Junhwe! I like you. You know that? You’re a good friend.” He mumbles. “I really like you.” He’s rambling now. “I’m tired.”

\-----

       He stirs when a door is shut, burying his face into a pillow as he blindly reaches for something to cover himself with. The sheets are pulled up to his chin, tucking him in as he sighs contentedly. Donghyuk reaches blindly, grabbing an arm and pulling the figure close. He snuggles closer to the body, humming softly at the warmth shared. 

       “Donghyuk? Are you sleeping?” 

       He registers someone whispering, humming affirmatively. “Junhwe… Do you like me?” There’s a pause and even in his drunken state, he doesn’t like it. “Am I your friend?” He tries again.

       “Of course.”

       Donghyuk smiles sleepily, “Good.” He moves to look at him drowsily. “Your hair looks nice.” He whispers truthfully because here in the dark, where the only light is the moon shining through the window, Junhwe’s blonde hair looks radiant. He doesn’t realize it but he moves closer to admire the soft locks, pressing forward before his lips meet Junhwe’s. 

       His eyes slowly shut close and he hums happily because  _ this feels nice _ . But then there’s a warm hand on his chest, pushing him away. 

       “Not tonight. Not like this.”

       He doesn’t know what’s going on but his eyes are drooping close and Dream Junhwe™ is back and he’s singing him a lullaby so he falls asleep. 

\-----

**saturday**

       His head is pounding and his tongue feels dry and heavy; Donghyuk sits up carefully, looking around with a blank stare. He recognizes this room but not in a good way. It’s more of a  _ shit. Did I do that AGAIN?  _

       He carefully glances to his side, sighing when he sees an empty bed.  _ Wait, why is the bed empty? _

       Just as he’s about to add another item to his list of questionable regrets, the dorm room door swings open and Junhwe walks in with two coffees in hand and a little paper bag. 

       “Oh, you’re awake good.” Junhwe sets the coffees on the desk beside him, “I just got two peppermint mochas.” He opens the paper bag, taking out two bagels. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like.” And then he grins at him, wide and unrestrained. 

       Donghyuk watches curiously as Junhwe opens a pack of cream cheese, smoothing it on the surface of the bagel; he accepts it with a small nod, not tearing his eyes away from the basketball player. Junhwe focuses on his own breakfast, taking a large bite, leaving cream cheese on the side of his lip. He looks up, smiling at Donghyuk. 

  1. Actually liking his drunken hook up who dated his roommate who hates him. 



_        Crap. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for being patient! this is a shorter chapter but that's because the next chapter is this giant monster (over 18 pages ;; )
> 
>  
> 
> and obv. dong is singing tae yang's wedding dress. get it? cause in the earlier chapters, junhwe sang it. 
> 
> anyway, comment how you like the story!


	6. 바람이나 좀 쐐 - Gary (feat. Miwoo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 나가서 바람이나 좀 쐐  
> 아무도 찾지 않는 곳에  
> 조금 슬퍼 보이면 어때  
> 너만 그런 게 아닐 텐데  
> 때로는 lonely lonely lonely  
> 때로는 lonely lonely lonely  
> 나가서 바람이나 좀 쐐  
> 아무도 찾지 않는 곳에  
> \-----  
> Go out and get some air  
> To a place where no one can find you  
> Who cares if you seem a little sad  
> You’re not alone  
> Sometimes it’s lonely lonely lonely  
> Sometimes it’s lonely lonely lonely  
> Go out and get some air  
> To a place where no one can find you

**sunday**

Staring blankly, he wipes at the counter with a clean towel, startling when his co-worker nudges his shoulder. 

“What? Who?” Donghyuk looked over at Yunhyung who’s staring at him with a curious look. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been out of it all day.” 

He nods slowly, looking down at his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You know you’re a really bad liar.”

He pouts, lip jutting out further when his co-worker laughed. “It’s not funny.”

“Sorry, sorry. You’re right; it’s not funny.” He moves to fill another person’s order, “You going to tell me why you’re so distracted today? It’s not like you.” 

He let out another sigh, leaning against the counter. “Just something that’s been on my mind lately.”

“Are you going to tell me or…?”

“It’s nothing, hyung--”

“It’s obviously not nothing if it’s bothering you.”

Rubbing his face with his right hand, Donghyuk looked up at Yunhyung’s reassuring smile. “I think I like someone--”

“Oh, someone has a crush!” 

He frowns, “I’m not going to tell you if you’re not going to be serious.”

“Okay, okay.” Yunhyung grins, trying to keep his expression neutral. “What’s wrong with a little crush?”

“It’s on someone I can’t have a crush on or at least shouldn’t.”

“Is it someone in jail? If they’re in prison then you’re only setting yourself up for heartbreak--”

“What?” He makes a face of confusion, “No. It’s my roommate’s ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh.  _ Oh. _ ” Yunhyung has a look of sympathy, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Well, how close are you to your roommate?”

“Uh…”

\-----

[flashback]

“Hey, have you seen my hoodie--”

“About that... I sort of lent it to my friend because I thought it was mine and he sort of somehow, shredded it--”

“Please get out.”

\-----

“Sorry… Me and my friends were messing around and we sort of got Kool-Aid on your laptop--”

“Get out.”

\-----

“Was that lamp super important to you? Jungkook threw a football in here and--”

“Out.”

\-----

“We’re not best friends.” Donghyuk shrugged, trying to be nonchalant before he looked away again in embarrassment. “But I would never do this to him. I mean, they’re high school sweethearts.”

“Well, if you really like him, just ask your roommate how they’d feel before you make any rash decisions.”

He nods, listening to everything Yunhyung says before looking up again, “What about asking him after I’ve made some rash decisions?”

“Oh, my god, Donghyuk. What did you do?”

“Uh… Oh, look! Customers!” He rushes to the counter, helping out a lone stranger ordering a cup of lemon tea. 

“Donghyuk.” He’s using the tone his mother used when she figured out it wasn’t the neighborhood kids that broke the attic window. 

“I, uh, slept with him.” He kicks his foot against the ground, “And, uh, kissed him. Somehow, the kissing thing is worse. I’m not sure why but it is.”

“Oh, Donghyuk.” Yunhyung buries his head in his hands before looking up at him with an expression of utmost disappointment. “Well, for one, I think you should tell your roommate.”

“What? Why?” Logically, he knows it’s the moral thing to do but he doesn’t want to. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do. Your roommate deserves to know.”

He whines, frowning as Yunhyung moves about the counter, filling drinks and taking orders with absolute ease. “I shouldn’t have come to you for advice.”

“I also think you should talk to the guy. Find out if he feels the same way as you or not. I don’t want you to be some roommate’s ex-boyfriend’s rebound. You deserve better.” 

That’s another thing he’s been avoiding: actually talking to Junhwe. 

\-----

**monday**

Professor Son writes quickly on the board about the Silla takeover and unification of the three lands. He struggles to follow, hand cramping as he scribbles on his notebook; it’s not that it’s hard to immerse himself in the history and culture, it’s because Junhwe is sitting next to him and he’s already dreading their conversation. 

“Well, that’s about all I can squeeze in an hour and a half class period. We will continue this lecture next time.” The professor turns to wipe the chalkboard clean as students around them begin packing up their things. 

“Hey, wanna grab lunch?”

Donghyuk looks up to see Junhwe smiling at him, books sliding into his bag. He takes a deep internal sigh before nodding, flashing him a small smile in return. “S-sure.” 

“Cool.” 

\-----

They walk quietly to one of the school’s dining halls; silence lingers between them as they take a few seats near the back, awkwardly smiling at each other as they place their food trays in front of themselves. 

“So, how’s the showcase--”

“We should forget what happened--”

Donghyuk mirrors Junhwe’s look of confusion. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

He looks at the basketball player, taking a deep breath, “I just… I feel like we need to talk about what happened after the party on Friday.”

“Okay…” Junhwe’s confused expression doesn’t wear off. 

“It was a drunken mistake and I think it’s best to forget anything ever happened.”

The athlete looks pensive, glancing down at his unopened pudding cup before slowly nodding, “Okay. Fine. Let’s forget about it.” Junhwe looks at him, expressionless, turning back to his lunch. 

“Uhm, okay. Alright. Great.” Donghyuk looks down at his sad udon noodles, peeking at Junhwe through dark eyelashes before looking away again. He mutters under his breath, “Awesome.” 

\-----

**tuesday**

“So?”

“So…?”

“Did you talk to your roommate?”

He nervously chuckles, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “I was going to, seriously, but then I sort of never went home and slept at Jungkook’s?”

“Are you telling me that’s what happened or are you asking me?”

“The first one?” He winces at the Disappointed Mother Hen™ expression. 

“I can’t believe you hid at Jungkook’s. Honestly, Donghyuk, I expected better from you.”

“It’s just, I got distracted.”

“You got distracted?” Now Yunhyung’s arms are crossed, staring him down with that look of parental disappointment and eternal shame. “And what did you get distracted by?”

“By your advice! I did what you told me! I talked to Junhwe and he was completely fine. Didn’t seem to care!”

“Oh, Donghyuk.” Now he has a tone of sympathy and comfort and it’s honestly like being wrapped in a warm fleece blanket. 

“So, I’m just never going to tell him and it’s not like after this year, we’ll really ever see each other. We’re roommates, not brothers.” 

He pretends not to notice the look of sympathy that Yunhyung wears as he wipes down the counter again. 

\-----

**wednesday**

Their first tutoring session after their conversation on Monday is awkward; they’re just staring at the calculus textbook and separately taking notes. There’s just a tense, awkward atmosphere surrounding them that no one is addressing. 

“Ahem.” 

They looked up to see Bobby smiling at them; he flashes him a grin and Junhwe just turns back to his work. “Hyung! You’re back!”

“Yeah, got back last night. I saw you guys working and thought I’d bring a little pick me up.” He holds up a little brown bag, “I got some cookies from the cafe.” 

“Thanks, hyung!” Donghyuk pulls out the seat next to him, removing his backpack with a smile as the basketball player sits down. 

“I got snickerdoodles! Because let’s face it, everyone loves snickerdoodles.” 

“Donghyuk’s allergic to cinnamon.” Junhwe doesn’t even look up from his textbook, highlighting and jotting different notes down. 

He turns to him with a look of surprise; how does he know that?

“Oh, really? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, hyung! You couldn’t have known.” He reassures, flashing the older student a small smile. “You guys should eat them. Otherwise, they’d be such a waste.”

“I don’t like snickerdoodles.” Junhwe continues to stare at his textbook, not sparing a glance at any of them. 

“Junhwe.” He hisses, giving Bobby an apologetic glance. 

“What? I don’t!” The athlete finally looks up with an aloof glare, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Uh, it’s fine, Dong. I can eat them.” Bobby places a hand on his back to placate him. “So, what are you guys working on?” 

“I’m helping Junhwe with his calculus. Apparently, he needs a 2.9 GPA to play basketball.”

“But I thought you had a 3.6 GPA?” Bobby looks at his teammate curiously, “Don’t you have one of the highest GPAs on the team?”

Junhwe doesn’t comment, just grunts nonverbally. 

Bobby presses forward, “Dude, why do you need Donghyuk to tutor you? You’re like one of the smartest kids on our team.” 

He shifts, dumping his books in his bag, “I have to go. I’ll see you later.” Junhwe doesn’t turn around, leaving them in the library. 

“That was weird. You don’t need to tutor Junhwe. He’s one of the smartest kids I know.” 

Donghyuk nods silently, watching Junhwe disappear behind the door. 

\-----

**thursday**

“Donghyuk!”

He looked up to see one of his seniors calling him; he waved at the other freshman dancers, jogging over with ease. “Yes?”

“Your boyfriend’s here to see you.”

“Boyfriend?”

“You know, the basketball player. He’s always here when we get done with practice.” 

“Oh,  _ oh. _ ” He freezes, plastering a forced grin on his face, “Junhwe’s not my boyfriend, Seunghoon hyung. He’s just a…” He actually doesn’t know what they are; classmates? Friends? Acquaintances? 

Seunghoon gives him an amused expression, humoring him. “Fine, your not-boyfriend is here.” He turns back to the other dancers, rejoining their conversations.

Donghyuk’s cheeks turn pink, nodding to himself as he makes his way outside of the studio; he sees Junhwe leaning against the hallway’s wall with a solemn look at the floor. He slowly approaches, clearing his throat softly, “Uh, you came to see me?”

The basketball player slightly startles, looking over at him as he pushes away from the wall. Coughing awkwardly, he nods, “Y-yeah. I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Okay… What about?” He tries to seem chill, nonchalant, casually crossing his arms. 

“About yesterday.”

He nods, telling Junhwe to continue.

“I don’t know what Bobby hyung told you but the basketball team wasn’t the reason I was asking for help.”

“Okay.” He pauses, watching Junhwe fidget under his gaze. “Then why were you asking for help?”

The athlete looks at him with an expression that he can only describe as sho-barrassed™, meaning equal parts shocked and embarrassed. “I need to keep my GPA above a 3.5 to keep my scholarship.”

“I thought athletes needed to practice a certain number of hours to keep their sports scholarship?”

“I’m not here on a sports scholarship. I mean, I am. Partly but most of my tuition is paid for by a different scholarship. One that says I need to keep my GPA above a 3.5 if I want to continue going to school here.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?”

Junhwe shrugs, kicking his feet against the hard tiled floors, “So, are we good?”

He chuckles, shaking his head fondly, “Yeah, we’re good.”

And then Junhwe grins at him and the way his eyes light up make Donghyuk realize,  _ Fuck. I really like this guy. _

\-----

This realization does not make his life easier, especially, when they’re sitting in the dance studio like always and Junhwe pulls out a chocolate chip cookie to help keep his blood sugar levels normal and gives him a goofy grin when he makes some sort of sarcastic comment about how he’s trying to fatten him up. No, his life is hell and he doesn’t know what to do. 

But then his phone dings and it’s Bobby and he tells himself to calm down because it’s just a crush. He just has a crush on the guy he drunkenly hooks up with who also happens to be his roommate’s ex-boyfriend. No big deal. 

\-----

Junhwe’s lounging on the floor again, his voice echoing as he belts out a rendition of Big Bang’s “Fantastic Baby” at the top of his lungs; it makes his cheeks hurt from laughing too much, struggling to breathe as he tries to tell the other male to shut up. 

He eventually does stop, grin wide on his face as he looks over at him. Donghyuk stares back, drawing his knees up to his chest so he can rest his head on them. 

“What are you doing for the holiday?” He asks softly, looking forward to their week long break from classes. 

Junhwe just hums, “Staying in my dorm, probably.” 

“You’re not going home?”

The athlete freezes for a second, before he wears a neutral expression, shrugging coolly. 

He stares for a second, analyzing that brief moment of pause before exhaling slowly, “You could come to my place if you don’t have anywhere to go. It’s nicer than the dorms.” He teases, smile on his lips. 

The basketball player slowly sits up, staring at him for a long moment, “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you’re cool with spending a week on a farm.”  _ Oh, my god, what is he doing? He’s actually inviting this guy home now? What’s wrong with him??? _

“I’ve never been to a farm.”

“It’s not much. You’d also probably have to come my brother’s engagement party but yeah, if you want, you could come.”

He looks unsure and Donghyuk should stop talking now otherwise he’s going to spend an entire week with a guy he just realized he has feelings for. “Okay.”

And Junhwe’s smiling again. 

_ Fuck _ . 

\-----

**friday**

“Of course, your friend can come! The more, the merrier! This engagement party is really just an excuse to see people. It’s not like the engagement was any sort of surprise to people.” Jinwoo grins. “Is this the friend you’re bringing? Hi! I’m Donghyuk’s older brother.” 

Junhwe hesitantly takes the other’s hand, shaking it politely albeit awkwardly. “I’m Junhwe, Koo Junhwe. It’s very nice to meet you.”

His older brother only smiles wider ( _ bless his heart _ ). “Well, the party is tomorrow at that, wait, where is that place again?” He looks around for his fiance, “Mino, where are we having our party again?” He calls out to the rapper standing over by the little aquarium installed in the cafe’s interior. 

“He’s not very good at directions.” Donghyuk stage whispers to him; he gets a indignant pout but Junhwe and him laugh it off. 

“It’s at the Seoul Gardens, over by Hongdae.” Mino walks over with a lazy grin, hugging Jinwoo and hooking his chin over the other’s shoulder. 

“It’s beautiful! Mino’s uncle owns the place and that’s where he told me he loved me for the first time.”

“That’s not true. Mino hyung’s been saying he loves you way before you even started dating.” Donghyuk refutes, turning to Junhwe in a dramatic fashion, “Mino hyung was basically Jinwoo hyung’s stalker.” He yelps when Mino pinches him. “Hyung! Are you just going to let your fiance abuse your baby brother like that?”

“Well, soon he’s going to be your brother too so yes. I will let him.”

He gawks and teasingly ducks when Mino tries to pinch him again. 

\----- 

**saturday**

“So, we’re sleeping at your brother’s place?” Junhwe lugs his suitcase as they walk to the bus stop.

“Yeah, we’re sleeping there tonight and then tomorrow morning, Mino hyung is going to drive us down to the farm; it’s about a two hour drive from Seoul.”

“How quaint.” 

He jokingly pushes the taller male, making him stumble slightly as he teasingly glares, “Don’t make fun of it. The farm’s great.”

Junhwe puts his hands up in mock surrender, chuckling as they stood by; the bus rolled up to the curb, unloading and loading passengers swiftly. The two of them grabbed a seat in the back, their luggage safely stored next to them as they passed tall Seoul buildings. 

\-----

“What is it exactly that your brother does?” Junhwe stands awkwardly as a waiter walks by with a tray of champagne. 

“He’s a graduate student at Seoul University, getting his masters in political science.” Donghyuk easily answers, grinning at how uncomfortable Junhwe seems with all this extravagant detail. “But his fiance is a rapper. He’s released a couple of songs. His family is also really loaded.”

Junhwe nods with wide eyes, accepting a crystal champagne flute from a waiter as they mingle in the gardens. He tugs at the collar of his shirt, looking around awkwardly as different family friends and acquaintances say hello to Donghyuk.

He smiles at them all warmly, easily introducing Junhwe as a close friend before they saunter away to the buffet lined up. The basketball player sticks close to him, never leaving his side as Donghyuk leads them through the party. 

The athlete watches as Donghyuk greets every single person warmly, with a friendly touch as they catch up on their lives; he practically beams at each person, drawing everyone in with his stories. He doesn’t look away, grinning softly beside him as Donghyuk easily integrates him into any conversation. 

\-----

“Anyway, I’m six years old, stuck in a minivan in New York City on a summer day. My family didn’t even notice I was gone for like thirty minutes.” 

The guests laugh, attention all directed at Donghyuk as he retells different stories of his childhood. 

“I feel like every time you tell that story, you’re in the car longer and longer.” Jinwoo lightheartedly adds with a teasing grin. 

    “You weren’t even there! You all abandoned me!” Donghyuk launches into his dramatics again, leaning on Junhwe’s shoulder for support. “A young child abandoned, forced to make it on his own.” His brother rolls his eyes, sharing a small smile with his fiance before turning back to the speaker of the night. “Cut down in my prime--”

    “Six years old was your prime? Man, your life must have been downhill from then.”

    Donghyuk glares at Junhwe’s playful grin, weakly slapping his arm before turning back to the guests. “My point was I was traumatized at such a young age.”

    “Is this going to be one of those moments I’ll have to talk to the psychiatrist about when they ask me if there were any signs?”

    Everyone laughs and Junhwe only grins at the smaller male, pinching his side to get him to smile ( _ he does _ ). 

    “Alright, alright. I think it’s time for a toast, everyone.” Mino holds up his champagne glass, effectively silencing the two college freshmen. “As most people know I’ve been in love with Jinwoo hyung since high school. When the yearbook asked me what my ambition was, I told them it was to marry Jinwoo hyung,” there’s a mix of cooing and soft laughter. “I was a young kid with no other real plans or goals but I knew that, that he was the one. And lots of people told me I was dumb and naive, that there would be someone better but I knew. I knew that every moment before him was empty. Everything I had done, everything I had worked for, was meaningless before I had met him.” Mino glances at the other male, “And now, everything I do, everything I work for is all for you.” 

    The crowd launches into soft applause and adoring cooing, raising their glasses to toast the happy couple as a groomsman pops open another bottle of champagne. 

    Donghyuk smiles as his brother shares a shy kiss with Mino when everyone is focused on refilling their champagne glasses, looking away briefly to glance at Junhwe; the basketball player looks at him for a brief second before quickly turning his gaze away. He pauses curiously but then a warm arm clamps down on his shoulder and he looks up to see Mino’s best man pouring bubbly champagne in his half-empty glass. 

\-----

They stumble through the apartment, laughing softly as they help carry Jinwoo and Mino in. They shuffle to the bedroom, dropping them off on the soft bed before taking their leave. 

“You can take the guest room on the left. It’s sort of Mino hyung’s recording studio but the bed should be made.”

Junhwe nods quietly, grabbing his suitcase from the living room as he heads over to the empty room. Before he enters, he turns to glance over at him, “Thanks for inviting me, by the way.”

He smiles softly, nodding before he heads to the other spare bedroom, heart thumping loudly in his chest. 

\-----

**sunday**

“The sun’s not even out.” Junhwe whines, squinting his eyes as he loads their luggage into the back of a polished SUV. 

“We have to leave early if we want to beat the traffic.”

“What traffic? We’re the only people awake!” The basketball player groans, tossing the last bag in as Jinwoo and Mino walk out with their arms full of snacks. He seems to brighten slightly at the sight of hot coffee in the graduate student’s hands, making grabby hands when the red travel mug is placed in his hands. 

“I told you we’d be leaving early.” Donghyuk sticks out his tongue, snuggling into his sweater to shield himself from the cold Seoul morning. 

“I didn’t think you meant before the sun.” The athlete gestures at the dark sky, the sun’s beams just beginning to shine over the horizon. “Also, how are you not dead after last night? I saw how much you drank.”

He shrugs with a grin, sticking his hands into the pocket of his sweater, eyes drooping sleepily. 

“I just don’t see how everyone is fine after last night-- Is that my sweater?” Junhwe pauses mid rant to stare at him dressed in an oversized gray hoodie. 

Donghyuk glances down the front, recognizing their school’s emblem and the little stitched basketball number in the corner before shrugging, “I guess so. Huh, I wonder how this got in my closet.” 

Neither of them say anything, shuffling into the SUV when Mino honks the horn to hurry up. 

\-----

Junhwe has never been outside of Seoul and his slow fascination with the endless rice fields is endearing; Donghyuk grins whenever the athlete excitedly points out a standing crane or a herd of cattle. Mino is too used to the scenic drive back to their hometown and Jinwoo falls asleep against the window to pay either of them any mind. 

“We’re almost there.” Mino mentions as they pull off the highway and onto an old road; it has cracks from decades of wear that no government crew has bothered to patch up as they track it down through different fields of fruits and vegetables. 

“What does your family farm?”

“Cabbages. Well, that’s our main produce. We have a few strawberry patches in the backyard.” 

Junhwe nods thoughtfully, turning back to stare out the car window as Mino makes another turn, driving onto a dusty, old, dirt road. The car shakes as it struggles to drive over dirt lumps and rocks, stirring Jinwoo awake. 

“Are we there yet?”

“Almost.” The driver points to a traditional one story home with some sort of hazardous upper level attachment at the very end of the dirt path; there’s a big walnut tree planted in the front yard, an old tire swing hanging from one of its sturdy branches. As they get closer and closer to the house, some people dart out of the front door, watching as they finally pull into the makeshift driveway.

Donghyuk tumbles out of the car, smile wide. “Grandma!” He envelopes a small, elderly woman into a tight hug, laughing as she squeezes back with as much fervor. He releases her with a grin, reaching for his mother and pulling her into an equally tight hug before greeting his grandfather with a playful squeeze. 

He turns back to see Junhwe helping Mino with their luggage; he turns to help, watching Jinwoo usher their family inside the house. Donghyuk grins, helping Junhwe carry their suitcases into the front entryway before kicking off his shoes. “Me and Junhwe call the attic!”

“What? No fair!” Mino whines behind them, struggling to bring in three bags at once.

“I’m sorry, you want to be in the attic?” Junhwe raises an eyebrow at him and he wants to laugh at his expression. 

“It’s the best room. Come on.” He grabs his suitcase, lugging towards the back of the house; they reach some sort of cross between stairs and a ladder mounted to the wall. Donghyuk huffs as he lugs the bag up, one hand on the ladder as they climb their way to the attic.

“Is this even safe?” His voice echoes as he carefully follows behind.

“Of course it is! My grandpa built this with his own two hands.” He throws his bag on the floor, climbing onto the attic floor before glancing back to help Junhwe toss his things up. He lends a hand, helping the basketball player climb over the last hurdle as they reach the attic. 

“I’m not sure that’s as reassuring as you think it is.”

He knows from the outside, the attic looks like some sort of afterthought the builders had added haphazardly but the interior was well-crafted with vintage posters from his and his brother’s childhood and a large skylight that let sunlight pour in. There’s a small desk and bookcase shoved into a corner of the room, a dresser pressed against one of the walls as he flops down at the lone mattress on the floor. 

Donghyuk looks over at Junhwe studying his surroundings, hunching a bit when he gets closer to one of the posters as the ceiling caves into an angle. “Trust me, tonight, when the stars are out, you’ll see why it’s the best room.”

The athlete’s lips quirk slightly into a smile. “Okay.”

He’s about to ask him if he’s having fun or regretting accepting his offer when Mino sticks his head through the cut out of the floor, standing on the ladder with a grin. “Hey, grandma says it’s time for lunch.” He disappears, leaving them alone. 

“Come on, if we’re not there in five minutes, Mino hyung’s going to eat all the meat.” 

Junhwe easily trails behind him down the ladder again. 

\-----

He finds that Junhwe fits in easily with his family; his grandmother fusses over him, loading food on his bowl of his rice. His mother grins whenever he offers his help cooking or cleaning, teasingly glaring at him and his brother for their “lack of manners.” Even his grandfather beams at Junhwe.

“Jinwoo and Donghyuk are so skinny! What you boys need is more meat.” Donghyuk’s grandmother reaches for more grilled fish, picking apart the bones and placing a hearty bite on their spoons. “Your father, my son-in-law, used to eat like five starved men and he was all muscle. Both of you are so much like your mother; never gaining a pound.” 

“Grandma,” he whines, too used to her long winded complaints about his weight. “Me and Jinwoo hyung are fine. We’re very healthy.”

She shakes her head, stubborn smile on her face. “No one likes a skinny boy. Isn’t that right, Junhwe?”

The basketball player looks surprised that he’s called upon, looking at Donghyuk for help (he’s not helpful, he just bites his lip to stop from laughing). Junhwe sheepishly rubs his neck, “I like Donghyuk the way he is.”

He freezes. 

Grandma throws her hands in defeat, “Just like that Mino boy. You both are too blinded by my grandsons that you couldn’t say a bad word even if you tried.” 

He should open his mouth and correct his grandmother.  _ He should. _

“That’s right, grandma. Mino’s too blinded by his love for me to realize I’m really just after his money.” Jinwoo intervenes, grin wide; his fiance wears a look of mock offense. 

She laughs cutely, curling up next to her husband who watches them all with a curious smile. 

Donghyuk smiles warmly at his grandparents, finally chancing a glance back at Junhwe, who’s watching them with just as much fondness. 

\-----

_ bff _

_ yOOOOOOOOOOOO 5:49pm _

_ GuESS WHO hAS a BOYfRIEND???? 5:50pm _

_ tHIS GUyyyyyyyyyyyyy 5:51pm _

_ finally got the balls to ask him out 5:54pm _

_ congratz 5:55pm _

_ \----- _

Donghyuk shows Junhwe his texts and the other laughs, sending Jungkook a congratulatory selfie via Snapchat with him. He grins, cheeks slightly pink from pressing his face against Junhwe’s but he shrugs it off as they sit on the shaded porch of the backyard gazebo. 

“You have a very nice family.”

He looked down at his hands in his lap, smiling shyly, “Thanks.” 

“So, you grew up here?” Junhwe’s lying on the floor, arms crossed behind his head. 

“Pretty much. We moved here after my dad passed away.” He bites his lip; he doesn’t look up when there’s a small hitch of breath. He doesn’t need pity or anything. He’s too old for that. “I had just turned eight. Jinwoo hyung was thirteen so it was harder for him.” He shrugged softly, “Been here ever since.”

There’s a warm silence between them.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

He laughs breathlessly, looking over at Junhwe with a reassuring smile. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” 

If he was honest (which he wasn’t), he rarely divulged that detail to anyone. He didn’t even tell Jungkook until they had been friends for over a year; there were many people that he had known for years that still didn’t know why his family had moved out into the country. 

“Does this mean that Mino hyung and Jungkook are from here?”

Donghyuk nods, smile on his lips. “Yeah. Jungkook lives across the road from us. The one with all the orange trees. We used to walk to the bus stop together. That’s how we all got to know each other.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Mino hyung’s family mostly lives in Seoul but they used to spend their summers here on his grandparents’ farm. That’s when he met Jinwoo hyung and begged his parents to let him live here.”

“And you guys all went to school together?”

“Yeah. There’s an elementary school in town but the middle school and high school are merged into one school so all of us would ride the bus together.” 

“That’s cool that all of you have known each other for so long.” 

He shrugs sheepishly, not looking at Junhwe as he watches Mino splash water at Jinwoo with a loud laugh. He watches them with a small smile, his brother’s loud laughing shrieks echoing in the backyard as he runs away from his soaked fiance who’s trying his best to hug him. 

Donghyuk looks down when he sees Junhwe rest his head in his lap, brows furrowing in playful anger but the basketball player whines so he laughs softly and lets him use his thigh as a pillow. 

The sun is setting, casting everything in a warm pink glow as he unconsciously reaches out and begins running his hand through Junhwe’s blond locks. He always figured they’d be dry and frayed from the bleach but they’re not; they’re soft and silky that he likes playing with them. 

“Alright, alright!” His mother steps out onto the back deck; he can see her wide grin as she jokingly scolds Mino and Jinwoo before calling out to them to hurry and help with dinner. 

He looks down in his lap to see the athlete sleeping, pausing his movements before chuckling softly; he gently shakes the other awake, “Hey. We gotta go help with dinner.”

Junhwe makes a noise of noncommittal before he rises, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he lets Donghyuk latch onto his arm, dragging them into the house.

\-----

“All boys should know how to cook!” Grandma is in another one of her tirades, handing Junhwe and Donghyuk a bucket of potatoes to wash and peel. 

They crouch by the old faucet, trying their best to follow orders and avoid her wrath; Donghyuk looks up when water is splashed on him, narrowing his gaze at Junhwe who hides behind his work with a small smile. He looks up to see his grandma scolding Mino for trying to wash the rice with soap before turning back to Junhwe; he silently reaches for the faucet, pressing his thumb against it and spraying water at the athlete. 

The basketball player screeches, immediately lowering his head when Grandma turns to glare at them with a suspicious stare. They pretend to work again, resuming their fight when she finally turns away. 

“Boys!”

They freeze, looking up to see Grandma standing over them with her hands on her hips; they wear sheepish grins, the front of their shirts soaked with water. 

“Can’t trust anyone in this household.” She grumbles, ushering them out of her precious kitchen. “Everyone’s too blinded by love to work.”

Donghyuk and Junhwe share a quick look, cheeks red from her assumption but both too embarrassed to correct her. Instead, they awkwardly shuffle out of the kitchen before darting in opposite directions with half-assed excuses. 

“Gotta water the cat!”

“I think my clothes are on fire!” 

\-----

His grandmother has cooked a feast, making sure each person is stuffed with food before they retire for the night. Donghyuk wishes his grandparents good night, hugging his mother once more before he climbs up the haphazard his family calls the attic stairs. 

Junhwe sits on the mattress, already changed into a pair of sweats and a ratty old T-shirt; he’s staring out the ceiling window, the stars clearly in view. 

He grins, “Awesome, right?” 

The athlete startles for a second before nodding with a small smile. “Yeah, awesome.” 

Donghyuk smiles, collapsing on the bed. “Sorry, there’s only one mattress. Me and Jinwoo hyung used to share this room before he left for college but after that, I didn’t really see a need for two mattresses.”

The other male shakes his head, falling back softly on the bed. He turns his head to the right to stare at his face, small smile tugging at his lips. “You guys used to share this hazard of a room?”

He laughs, playfully pushing him away, “Shut up.” He grins, turning around to lie on his back. “My grandparents added the room after we all realized a two bedroom house wasn’t going to be big enough for three adults and two kids. It’s also why Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung are stuck sleeping in the living room while we get the  _ best  _ room.” 

Junhwe laughs quietly at that, turning back to stare out the window. “It is a pretty cool room.”

“Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Junhwe looks back at him with a wide grin; he smiles back. 

\-----

**monday**

He wakes briefly in the middle of the night to find himself tucked into the comforter and Junhwe; the other male has an arm swung over him, huddling Donghyuk into his chest while their legs are tangled together under the sheets. 

He knows,  _ knows,  _ that it would be best to pull away but he’s exhausted from waking up at five in the morning yesterday and his brain isn’t functioning because he’s still partly asleep so he doesn’t move. Even though, he  _ knows _ he should. 

\-----

“Such a strong boy!” His grandmother gushes with a toothy grin, watching as Junhwe easily moves a fifty pound bag of cabbages from the fields. “I remember when their grandfather used to be able to do this. He would show off his strength to all the neighborhood girls to try and impress them. Of course, I wouldn’t fall for it. He had to work hard to win me over.”

He shakes his head with a fond smirk, working to plant new vegetables for the oncoming season. 

“You need to bring this one home more often, Donghyuk.” 

He looks up to see his mom smiling warmly, dusting her gloves on the front of her work pants before turning to uproot any weeds from their fields. His cheeks flush but he doesn’t say anything ( _ he does watch Junhwe in the corner of his eye, though _ ). 

His blonde hair is practically blinding in the sunlight but Junhwe wears this giant grin as both his grandmother and mother dote on him, praising him for his strength. He playfully rolls his eyes when the basketball player flashes a proud grin his way, laughing warmly as he pouts at him. 

\-----

Donghyuk dusts his hands against the leg of his pants, stepping out of the hallway and into the living room; his grandfather sits cross-legged in front of the TV, eyes glazed over as he stares at the screen. The Alzheimer’s clouds his mind as he watches colorful screens pass by. He makes a move to go talk to him but pauses when Junhwe steps out of the kitchen with a tray of assorted fruits and snacks. 

He sits next to his grandfather with a sense of comfortable familiarity; offering him an apple slice. 

“W-who are you?” He stammers and Donghyuk knows this has to be the tenth time he’s asked Junhwe today; he moves to intervene but halts when Junhwe just smiles warmly. 

“I’m Junhwe, sir. I’m a friend of your grandson’s.”

“G-grandson? No, I’m a young man. I don’t have a grandson.”

Junhwe doesn’t make fun of him, just nods before handing him another apple slice. “Well, then I’m your friend, sir.”

His grandfather beams at that, gummy smile on display. “Y-yes. We are good friends.”

“We are. We are very good friends, sir.”

He’s satisfied with that and Junhwe grins reassuringly as he helps his grandfather take his medication for the evening, offering him another apple slice afterwards. 

_ Shit. He REALLY likes him.  _

\-----

**tuesday**

Junhwe leans against Donghyuk’s knee, using him as a makeshift pillow as warm breezes filter in and out of the backyard gazebo. He runs his fingers through blonde hair again, leaning against a structural beam as he hums softly. The sun dips everything in gold as they rest in the privacy of the small space. 

“Hey, Donghyuk?”

He hums, looking down to see Junhwe’s eyes closed, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah?”

“Why’d you invite me here?”

He freezes for a second before silently taking a deep breath, combing through blonde locks again. Donghyuk tries his best to look sheepish as he shrugs. “You said you were just going to stay at the dorms. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” ( _ I also might like you. A lot. _ )

The other is silent and he wonders if he’s really fallen asleep. 

“Thanks. For inviting me. I… I really appreciate it.”

He nods quietly, “No problem.” He continues to run his fingers through the other’s hair, watching as his breathing even outs. “No problem.” He repeats mutely. 

\-----

“I just need a few things from the market.” His mother quickly jots down some items on a notepad, ripping out the sheet and handing it to him. “Mino and Jinwoo are spending at the night at the Song’s so we don’t need too much for tonight’s dinner.”

Donghyuk looks over the piece of paper, reading each item before nodding sheepishly. “Okay, anything else?”

“Don’t spend all the money on candy.”

“Oh, my god, mom, that was one time. Jungkook and I already apologized like a million times.”

She chuckles, pinching his cheek to elicit a whine; Junhwe stands beside him, masking his laugh with a desperate cough. 

“Mom.” He whines quietly, pulling away from her, “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Part of the job. Wait until you have kids.” She pats both boys on the shoulder before she shoos them out of the house. 

They begin their trek on the dirt road, standing close to the side to avoid any oncoming cars; the sun leaves a warm glow on everything as they walk towards the town. They walk side by side in silence, arms swinging quietly. 

“So…”

He looks up to see Junhwe staring straight ahead. 

“You think you’ll move out here when you graduate?”

Donghyuk shrugs, kicking a rock with his sneaker, “Maybe. I’m not sure how many towns need anthropologists.” He jokes quietly. “I’ve thought about becoming a teacher at the local elementary school. I like kids and it would be fun to teach them social studies.” 

    Junhwe hums; he’s wearing a warm smile, nodding silently. 

    “What about you? Do you want to live in Seoul?”

    “I’ve thought about it. But it’s so competitive and the cost of living is really high.” 

    “That’s true.” He looks down again, kicking the dirt off his shoes. “But--”

_     Honk! Honk! _

__ He looks up to see bright headlights, freezing as time moves slowly; he doesn’t move but finds himself tucked into Junhwe’s chest. They’re turned around, Junhwe facing the dirt road that the car had sped down on as he’s safely turned towards the grassy fields. 

“Sorry!” 

They peel away to see a young student driver behind the wheel, basically on the verge of tears. Junhwe walks over with a soft smile, talking them down from a mental breakdown, reassuring her that no one was hurt and to drive extra carefully from now on. 

He stands frozen, still trying to comprehend what just happened. 

“Hey, you okay?”

Donghyuk looks up to see Junhwe looking down at him with a concerned look in his eyes, scanning over him for any sort of damage. He nods shakily, letting go of a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah--”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“But the groceries--”

“I can get those myself. Let’s just get you home.” Junhwe moves to lace their fingers together, turning back around to the house. He lets the basketball player lead the way, staring down at their hands the entire journey.

\-----

“Good thing Junhwe was quick on his feet!” Grandma slams her spoon on the table, reaching over to hug the college student. “Otherwise, who knows what would’ve happened to our baby?” 

He rolls his eyes, biting his lip to stifle his smile; Junhwe is blushing from all the compliment and praise, ducking his head low as he finishes his dinner. 

Donghyuk’s mother even joins in, clapping a warm hand on the basketball player’s back with a wide grin. “You’ve done well, son.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Junhwe tries to refute, humbly refusing any more dessert from his mother. “I’m sure anyone would’ve done the same.”

“Nonsense!” His grandmother waves off his protest with a wave of her hand. “The world needs more chivalrous men like you. It’s a good thing this happened here where there aren’t many cars. Imagine if it had been Seoul!” She shudders at the thought. “But I’m sure Junhwe would’ve saved Donghyuk then too.”

Donghyuk laughs at her dramatics, looking over at Junhwe’s flushing form. He grins, catching the other’s eye before mouthing thank you. 

\-----

**wednesday**

Due to the unusual chill, they pile blankets and sheets on the mattress, heads pillowed by mountains of cushioning. They keep their laughter soft, too worried that the rest of the house will wake up if their sounds travel through the home.

“Hey, Junhwe?” 

“Yeah?” 

Donghyuk swears he sees the breath from their whispering. “Thanks for saving me today.”

There’s a breathy chuckle, “It’s really not a big deal.”

“Still… Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.”

There’s a beat of silence, their breathing synchronizing in the dark. 

“Why didn’t you go home for break?”

He hears a hitch in breath, silence lingering in the air; he’s about to apologize for prying when Junhwe interrupts him. 

“I don’t really like my home.” Deep breath. “It’s too loud and no one really notices me.”

“That can’t be true.” And he’s not sure why he’s arguing. “You’re Koo Junhwe, basketball extraordinaire.” He teases breathlessly.

There’s a soft chuckle. “I just don’t like going home. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong anywhere.”

“Oh.” He pauses and he silently admonishes himself for bringing it up. “Well, I think you belong.” 

There’s a pause and he almost wonders if Junhwe fell asleep. 

“No one’s ever told me that.”

He finds that hard to believe but when he looks over at him, staring back with a sort of wide-eyed awe, he can’t help but lean forward to brush strands of blonde hair away from his eyes. “Well, it’s true, you know?”

Junhwe swallows hard, nodding like he doesn’t really believe Donghyuk but doesn’t want to say otherwise. “Thanks.” He breathes softly. “Are you cold?”

He looks over at Junhwe, cheeks pink when he sees that the other male is staring at him. “No.”

“You’re a bad liar.” He teases before suddenly wrapping an arm around him, bringing him in. He feels a sense of deja vu: huddled closely together when the only thing he can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears. 

His heart racing and he tries to focus on his breathing, taking slow deep breaths before realizing even their breathing has synced up.  _ In. Out. In. Out. _

They fall asleep like that on this late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning, the cold morning dew collecting on the bay window, a dark canvas of stars and soft clouds. 

\-----

**thursday**

“And don’t forget to tell Mrs. Jeon that the green rice cakes are filled with red bean paste and the white ones are filled with honey.”

Donghyuk waves his mother’s incessant nagging away, playfully rolling his eyes as he grabs the ceramic blue plate from the kitchen table before backing out the back door. 

Junhwe hoists another batch of onions into the wheelbarrow, helping his grandparents harvest this season’s crops. The blonde looks up from across the fields, smile blinding as he waves enthusiastically; he ducks bashfully when his grandmother admonishes him for getting distracted, her voice loud and clear. 

He laughs at the other male’s apologetic bow, turning back to work in the fields; every once in awhile, he turns to his grandfather to help him stand or to take the heavy logs of wood off his hands. 

“What are you still doing here? The sun will set soon, Donghyuk!” 

He turns around to see his mother standing in the doorway, hands on her hips as her apron hangs loosely on her thin frame. 

    She looks over at the fields to see Junhwe laughing loudly with his grandfather before sighing softly. “Your boyfriend will still be here when you get back so go!”

    He opens his mouth to correct her but she pushes him off the stone steps before he can really protest. 

\-----

**friday**

“You should’ve told us it was your birthday, dear!” His mom scolds with an exasperated smile. “We could’ve baked a cake or I could’ve made seaweed soup this morning.” 

“It’s really not a big deal--”

“Not a big deal he says!” His grandmother grumbles to herself, “If Mino hadn’t seen your birthday on your ID, we would’ve let such a happy day pass us by!” She turns to Junhwe with a wide grin, wiping her hands on the front of her pink apron. 

“It’s not--”

“Don’t try to fight her on this, man.” Mino pats his shoulder. 

“What are you still doing here? I thought I told you to go down to the market and grab something for dessert and some birthday candles.” Donghyuk’s mom stands a good twenty centimeters shorter than the rapper but he still quakes in his shoes. He salutes to the family before scurrying out of the kitchen. 

“Come on, it’s best to just stay out of their way.” Donghyuk reaches out slowly, grabbing his hand to tug him out of the kitchen. They waltz through the living room where Jinwoo sits with their grandfather, some sort of music program on the old TV screen. 

\-----

They climb up the stairs as he lets Junhwe’s hand slip away, launching himself face down on the mattress. He settles into the comforter, rolling around in the soft sheets before looking up to see Junhwe staring down at him with a half-smirk. 

The basketball player chuckles breathlessly before he turns around to survey the room.

Donghyuk props himself up, leaning against the palm of his hand, “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

The other male shrugs, not looking away from the bookcase filled with odd novels and spare trinkets. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”

“Of course, it’s a big deal. It’s your birthday.” It makes him a little more curious as to why he wouldn’t go home when he knows his birthday was during break. “Birthdays are always a big deal. It’s a happy day.”

“Why? I mean, it’s not anything special.”

“Of course it is. It’s the day you were born, that automatically makes it a happy day. I bet a lot of people are happy you were born. Your parents. Your friends. Your teammates.” Junhwe scoffs quietly and he looks up at him with a curious look. “Me. I’m happy you were born.”

Junhwe finally looks at him, eyes slightly wide. 

“Otherwise, who would order really embarrassing drinks at the cafe?”

He laughs, ducking under the covers when Junhwe begins throwing things at him with an exasperated squawk. 

\-----

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Junhwe! Happy birthday to you!” 

The room erupts into applause as Mino pops a bottle of sparkling cider. 

“You have to make a wish!” Jinwoo stops Junhwe from blowing out the pastel candles on top of the frosted cake. 

The basketball player grins, pausing before he leans forward to blow out the candles. Donghyuk grins, taking a bit of the frosting off the side and wiping it across his chin. Junhwe jokingly frowns before he retaliates, spreading blue frosting across his cheek. 

He shrieks in laughter, twisting away to avoid the other’s frosting covered hand. 

“Alright, alright. Enough fooling around. Let’s cut the cake.” His mother begins to cut through the cake with ease, handing out each piece on colorful paper plates. 

They quiet down, sneaking glances at each other before snickering ( _ his brother stuffs his mouth with cake to shut him up _ ). 

\-----

“I never want to see another cake again.” Donghyuk groans, holding his stomach as he lies on the mattress. 

“That’s what you get for eating a  _ third _ piece of cake.” Junhwe offers no sympathy, slipping his sweater off before throwing it on top of his duffel bag. 

He whines, “But it was so good.” 

The basketball player chuckles, straightening up before sitting down on the desk chair, glancing at the picture frames on the desk. “You know, you were pretty cute as a kid.”

“Pretty cute? I was fucking adorable.” Donghyuk sits up on his elbows, teasingly glaring. “And what’s that supposed to mean? What? I’m not cute now? I’ll have you know I am still cute. I am a delight!” 

Junhwe laughs, rolling his eyes playfully before glancing at the photos again. “Is that you and Jungkook?”

He’s holding up a poorly made macaroni picture frame, two kids hanging from a tire swing in the frame. Donghyuk stands up properly to walk over with a small nod. “Yeah, that’s the year my grandpa put in the swing in the front yard. We used to spend hours on that thing.” He carefully takes the frame from his grasp, examining it a bit before placing it back on the desk. “Most of these pictures are of me and Jungkook.” He sighs quietly. “I don’t really have a lot of pictures from before the move.” He looks back at all the pictures before grabbing one in a simple black frame. “Except this one.” Donghyuk hands the photo over to Junhwe with a soft grin. “That was a few months before we moved out here.”

Junhwe stares at the picture for a long minute before looking away. “It’s a nice photo.” 

“Thanks.”

\-----

**saturday**

When he wakes up, he’s alone in bed and he sits up with a long yawn; he turns around but doesn’t see any blonde hair so he shrugs, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He stands up, stretching his limbs as he makes his way towards the ladder, hopping down with practiced ease. 

He shuffles through the hallway, walking into the little breakfast nook where his family has gathered. He greets them with a sleepy smile before looking at his brother. “Where’s Junhwe? I thought he got up before me and was already at breakfast?”

Jinwoo shares a look with Mino before turning back to him. “He didn’t tell you? He said he had an emergency back in Seoul so he asked Mino to drive him to the train station this morning.”

Donghyuk’s face falls for a second before he plasters on a grin, “Oh. I’m sure he didn’t want to wake me up.” 

The older male nods thoughtfully, turning back to his conversation with their grandparents. He looks over at Mino who stares at him with a curious look before glancing away. 

\-----

_ june babo _

_ Hey. heard you had to go back to seoul 10:19am _

_ is everything okay? 10:20am _

_ just text me when you’re back in the dorm, ok? 11:42am _

_ (read Sunday 1:12am) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA remember when I started this story, I was like "yeah weekly updates. just going to pace myself. no pressure." but then i actually started and i got too excited and I needed to share this with everyone so I can talk to you guys and be like "ISNT THIS CRAZY?????? WHY AM I WRITING THIS????? THEYRE SUFFERING BECAUSE OF ME???? WHY AM I TRASH?????" 
> 
> #18pages


	7. 봄날 (Spring Day) - 방탄소년단 (BTS)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 보고 싶다  
> 이렇게 말하니까 더 보고 싶다  
> 너희 사진을 보고 있어도  
> 보고 싶다  
> 너무 야속한 시간  
> 나는 우리가 밉다  
> 이젠 얼굴 한 번 보는 것도 힘들어진 우리가  
> \-----  
> I miss you  
> When I say that, I miss you more  
> I’m looking at your photo  
> But I still miss you  
> Time is so cruel  
> I hate us  
> Now it’s hard to even see each other’s faces

**tuesday**

“Gross.” Donghyuk jokingly grimaced as he entered his dorm room. “Can you not make out with my roommate?” He laughed when a pillow came flying his way, ducking as it hit the wall behind him and fell with a soft thud. 

“Shut up. I thought you had work?” Hanbin lies back against the headboard, tucking Jinhwan under his arm who looks at him with a smile. 

“I did. But Seungyoon hyung switched with me.”

“So you did get time off.” Jinhwan grins coyly.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” His cousin looks between them, confusion written all over his face. 

“It’s his one month anniversary with Bobby.”

“Shut up, Jinhwan hyung.”

“Don’t tell my boyfriend to shut up.”

He playfully rolls his eyes, changing into a soft gray sweater before running a hand through his caramel locks. 

“Anyway, I thought you guys have been together since the beginning of the semester.”

“That’s when they met. They weren’t official until after break.”

“Oh, gotcha.” 

Donghyuk pauses, lips pursed slightly as he thought about break before breaking out of his reverie when there was a knock on their dorm door. “Well, that should be Bobby. I’ll see you guys later.” 

They wave noncommittally, already focused on the movie blaring from the laptop; he grins as he swings open the door, leaning up to shyly press a kiss on Bobby’s cheek. “Hi.”

“Hey. I’m glad you got the night off.”

“Me too.” He pats down his pockets one last time to make sure he’s got everything before Bobby leans coolly to grab his hand. He blushes slightly at the contact but ignores it as they make their way out of the dorm. 

\-----

“You’re coming to the game this Friday, right?”

Donghyuk looks up at Bobby’s hopeful face, shrugging softly as he looks away from inevitable disappointment. “I don’t know… The showcase is in less than two weeks. I should really practice as much as I can.” 

“Come on, you haven’t been to a basketball game in weeks. Jimin comes to the games and he’s in the showcase.”

There’s a list of reasons he’s not going but he doesn’t voice them. 

_ (Donghyuk’s long list of why he’s avoiding basketball now: _

 

  * __Has to practice for the upcoming showcase.__


  * _Homework_


  * _Doesn’t really understand basketball._


  * _It’s too loud._


  * _Doesn’t want to lose his voice cheering._


  * _He’s tired on Fridays._


  * _…_


  * _Junhwe.)_



 

“I’ll try to come, hyung.”

Bobby takes that as an affirmative and cheers as they walk into the little Thai place they had gone to months ago. The waitress greets them with a familiar smile and leads them to a booth in the back of the room. 

He slides into the pleather seat, flashing a soft smile when the other male sat across him, flipping open the laminated menus. 

\-----

Bobby waits at the register for his credit card, grinning as Donghyuk stands just outside the little shop; he easily strides out, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and tucking him into the athlete’s side. “Ready to go?”

He nods, smiling easily as they walk up the street towards campus; the sun shines down brightly as they pass different campus stores with trinkets in the windows. 

“Wanna grab some ice cream?”

He grins, “Yeah. I’ll pay.”

“Donghyuk, you don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do. You bought dinner so I’ll pay for dessert. Now, come on.” Donghyuk winds their hands together, tugging him towards a fairly quiet ice cream shoppe on the corner of the street.

There’s a little bell over the door that chimes delicately when they walk into the little store; the walls are covered in pastel wallpaper and the floors have pretty tiles that make intricate patterns. There’s a kind old man standing behind the counter full of different ice cream flavors; he smiles when they enter, his white apron tied neatly around his waist. 

“What can I get you kids?”

The basketball player picks an easy flavor: vanilla but he spends a good five minutes trying to decide before he settles on chocolate covered pretzels with caramel swirls in coffee ice cream. Bobby balks at all the sugar as they make their way towards one of the tiny little tables by the window, holding his cone with a little blue napkin. 

“How can you eat that? That’s so much sugar.” 

He shrugs, humming happily as he spoons another bite into his mouth. 

“I feel like I’m getting diabetes just looking at you.” 

Laughing, he drops a bit of his ice cream on the surface of the table, wiping it away with a napkin. 

“Hyung! Come on!” There’s a small voice echoing in the shoppe followed by soft laughter. 

“Calm down, Chanwoo. They’re not going to run out of ice cream.” 

Donghyuk freezes, looking over at the entryway to see Junhwe pass through with a sheepish grin on his face, hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans. He looks relaxed and at ease as he follows a little kid into the shoppe. He also notices that Junhwe has dyed his hair back to black and it looks  _ good _ . 

He watches as the other strolls in with ease, walking up to the counter as the kid,  _ Chanwoo, _ presses his face up against the glass case. 

Chanwoo. Chanwoo. Chanwoo! That’s Junhwe’s best friend; at least, that’s what he remembers hearing. His eyes dart between the two, trying to figure out how they could possibly know each other without realizing that Bobby has gotten up from their table to greet his teammate. 

The basketball player happily claps a hand on his back, grinning widely as Junhwe pulls back in surprise before he flashes him a weary grin; he looks around the rest of the shoppe before they land on him. Donghyuk offers an awkward wave and a strained smile before he sees Bobby point over to the empty seats. 

Junhwe tensely nods, paying for two cones of ice cream before he trails behind the other basketball player to their seat. The little kid makes grabby hands for his ice cream, jumping into the empty seat next to him as Junhwe’s forced to sit across from him.

“So, what’s this little guy’s name?” Bobby grins at the kid, laughing lightly as he gets chocolate all over his chin. 

Junhwe reaches out with a fond smile, wiping away the melted remains with a clean napkin. “This is Chanwoo, he’s my little brother.” 

“I’m six!” Chanwoo proudly announces, smiling to reveal a missing tooth. 

“Chanwoo, these are hyung’s friends. This is Bobby hyung and that’s Donghyuk hyung.”

The little kid doesn’t look like he’s really listening, only nodding slightly as he focuses on his dessert. 

“I heard you dropped out of history, man.” Bobby turns his attention back to the other athlete. “Donghyuk said you dropped after break.”

He awkwardly coughs into a fist, “Y-yeah. Was getting to be too much homework. And with basketball and everything, I figured it was best to drop.”

Bobby nods in understanding, crumpling up his used napkin and swiftly tossing it into the garbage can. 

Donghyuk doesn’t look up, turning to look at Chanwoo with a soft smile as the kid tries to take large bites of his chocolate ice cream. There isn’t much resemblance but the kid looks up at him with a grin so wide that he can’t help but flash one back. 

“I like you.” 

He blushes at the kid’s sudden confession, masking his embarrassment with a chuckle as he pats his hair. “Thanks, Chanwoo.” 

“You should date Junhwe hyung!”

“Well, I better take Chanwoo home--”

“I don’t want to go home.” The little kid is whining now, kicking his feet as more melted chocolate dribbles down his chin. 

The basketball player takes a deep sigh, cheeks flushed as he avoids eye contact with the other two college students, ruffling his hand through his hair, “Come on, Chanwoo. We gotta get you home.” Junhwe moves to easily lift him up from the chair, tucking him into his arms as the little boy whines. “Come on, it’s almost your bedtime and I’ve let you have too much sugar.” He waves awkwardly at both of them before he practically bolts out the ice cream parlor. 

“Well, that was weird.” Bobby chuckles softly beside him, throwing away his napkin and grabbing his melted ice cream. “Finished?”

Donghyuk tears his gaze from the exit, turning back to face Bobby, his  _ boyfriend _ (he reminds himself) with a shaky nod, “Y-yeah. I’m done.”

\-----

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nods softly, accepting Bobby’s chaste kiss against his cheek before he turns to unlock the dorm door. Donghyuk sighs as he stands on the other side of the door, mind heavy as he begins to trudge his way up the stairs. God, even his steps are heavy as he makes his way to his floor. 

He swings open the door quietly, head hung low as he shuffles into the room. Donghyuk looks over at the lone light in the corner of the room to see Jinhwan propped against the headboard with a book in his hand. 

“Hey. How was your anniversary date?”

“Fine.” He tosses his jacket into his closet, too lazy to hang it up. 

His roommate places a bookmark between the pages, placing the novel on the nightstand, “Just fine?”

Donghyuk hums, sliding out of his jeans and slipping into a pair of comfortable gray sweats. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Nah.” He slumped into his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. Jinhwan turns off the lamp and there’s a brief shuffle of sheets and blankets before the dorm room is encompassed by silence. He lies in his bed, breathing soft before he quietly clears his throat. “Hey, hyung?”

There’s another moment of silence and he figures Jinhwan is asleep. “Yeah?”

“Why’d you break up with Junhwe?”

More silence and he worries that he’s overstepping his bounds. 

“I didn’t. He broke up with me.”

“Oh.”

“It was a long time coming, to be honest.” There’s a sort of exhaustion weighing down his voice. “We hadn’t been happy in a long time. But we were high school sweethearts and I think we were scared to let go… Especially of something that used to be so good.” Jinhwan sighs, “But we both needed to be happy and we couldn’t be that as long as we were together.”

He doesn’t say anything; their breathing fills the silence. “Do you miss him?”

Another pause. “Sometimes. But more of a ‘I miss when we were friends.’ Or a ‘I miss hanging out.’”

Donghyuk nods but he’s not sure if Jinhwan can see him. 

“It’s okay to like him.”

“W-what?” He turns to stare at the dark lump on the other bed.

“Junhwe. It’s okay to like him.”

“I-I don’t--”

“It’s okay. Junhwe used to talk about you a lot. He’d talk about your dance solo, your guys’ presentation. It made me jealous.” There’s another pause and he wonders if he should say something. “But not in a ‘I hate you’ way, well, maybe at first, but in more of a ‘I wish I had someone to talk about that way.’ Being with Hanbin makes me realize how much I was missing out on. Junhwe’s a great guy but we outgrew each other a long time ago. If I had just taken that first step, if I hadn’t been so scared, we both could’ve been happier a long time ago.”

He doesn’t respond, breath hitched before slowly breathing out, “But you seemed so mad when you guys broke up.”

“I was mad he broke up with me. A little hurt, a little embarrassed. But Junhwe and I haven’t been happy in a long time.” 

Donghyuk sighs silently. 

“Don’t waste life waiting around for your happy ever after. Sometimes, you have to be the one to take the first step.” 

\-----

**wednesday**

“Hyung?”

“Yeah, Donghyuk?”

He continues to mindlessly wipe a plate clean, nervously staring down at his shoes. “How did you know you loved Mino hyung?”

Jinwoo looks up from the stove, stirring a hot pot of spaghetti sauce before turning to lower the heat. “Seems so long ago.” He chuckles softly. “I wish I could say I always knew like Mino always claims but I didn’t. I didn’t know for a long time actually.” His brother wears a fond smile. “It was one of those moments when I was with him that I thought, ‘Hey. I love this guy.’” He laughs lightly. “Pretty unromantic, huh?” 

“If you’re looking for love advice, you should’ve come to the master of love.” Mino waltzes in with a loud sing-song voice, pecking Jinwoo on the cheek before grinning at Donghyuk. “The moment you realize you’re in love is this great moment when everything seems to finally make sense. It’s not bells or anything, it’s just this enlightening moment. It’s great.”

He nods thoughtfully, looking away bashfully when he sees Mino and Jinwoo share a secret smile; he feels like he’s intruding on some intimate moment between the two. 

“Anyway, why the sudden curiosity?”

He looks up to see Jinwoo smiling softly at him; Donghyuk shrugs coolly. “Just wondering.”

“Is this about Junhwe?”

He almost drops the plate.  _ Almost _ . “W-what? N-no. I’m not… He’s not… I’m dating Bobby hyung.”

“Oh, please. You think I don’t know when my baby brother really likes someone?” He bustles through the kitchen, draining noodles as Mino begins setting up the table in the little kitchen nook, too lazy to ready the dining room. “Bobby’s a nice guy and all--”

“Great rapper.”

“Not really relevant but, yes, a good rapper and a great guy but you guys don’t really seem like you’re…” He struggles to find the right word. “Together.”

“Well, we are. And I really like him. We just had our first month-versary”

Mino pats a comforting hand on his shoulder. “And we’re happy for you. We want you to be happy Donghyuk, really, but who are you really trying to convince here?” 

He stays silent at that, frowning slightly as Jinwoo pushes him into a seat and piles spaghetti on his plate. 

\-----

**thursday**

Donghyuk’s List of Startling Discoveries:

  * He likes Bobby as a friend. 
  * He wants to remain friends with Bobby.
  * He might be a little in love with Junhwe.
  * He’s working on that last one. 



\-----

“Donghyuk’s list of startling discoveries?” 

    He jumps as Jungkook looks over his shoulder, crowding him around his desk in the private study quarters of the library. “What the hell, man? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

    A librarian shushes them harshly as she strolls by. 

    “What are your startling discoveries?” His best friend grabs the notebook before he can properly hide it away. “He likes Bobby as a friend. He wants to remain friends with Bobby. Do you write in the third person when you talk about yourself?” Jungkook shoots him a judgmental look before flipping through the rest of the notebook. “Kim Donghyuk’s List of Regrets-- What? I’m number six?”

    “I crossed it out!” He defends, grabbing the journal out of his hands, pushing it to the bottom of his backpack. 

    “Well, I am hurt. Hurt!” Jungkook emphasizes with a dramatic clutch to his chest. “My own best friend betraying me. It’s always the ones you least expect that hurt you the most--”

    Donghyuk kicks the chair from under him. “Why are you here? I didn’t think you knew what a library was.”

    “This is a library?” 

    Rolling his eyes, he turns back to grab his history textbook, flipping through the pages randomly. 

    “So, you’re going to break up with Bobby hyung?” Jungkook’s voice is soft and sympathetic, looking down comfortingly at his best friend.

    He sighs, leaning back in his chair as he nods silently. “Yeah… He’s a great guy and all, but I just don’t think I feel completely the same way.” 

    There’s a warm hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles against his spine. “Hey, don’t feel bad. Bobby’s a good guy, he’ll understand.”

    Burying his head in his hands, he groans, “That’s the problem. He’s such a great guy that I feel bad.” He glanced pathetically at Jungkook. “It’s like in those dumb dramas when the girl always ignores the good guy and ends up with the asshole because he’s quote-on-quote changed or whatever. Dear god, I’m no better than the whiny female leads on television.” 

    “Well, that’s because you’re like the hot girl. Everyone wants you.” 

    He punches Jungkook’s arm. “Why couldn’t I be in love with Bobby? I mean, he’s such a good guy. He’s nice. He has good manners. He’s smart. He’s athletic. He’s like everything you’d ever want in a guy.”

    “Life doesn’t work that way, man.” 

\-----

_ kimbab _

_ hey hyung 5:52pm _

_ Can we meet up tonight? 5:53pm _

_ sure! practice ends at 8 5:54pm _

_ can we meet up then? 5:54pm _

_ yeah! sounds good 5:56pm _

\-----

“Hey!” 

Donghyuk looks up from his feet, kicking randomly at the pavement below, to see Bobby jog over with a grin. He plasters on an awkward smile, waving hesitantly as they stand outside the university’s gymnasium. “Hey, hyung.” 

“Want to get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“S-sure!” He wants to face palm at his nervous stuttering, letting the older basketball player lead him away from the large brick building and towards the line of shops on campus.

The athlete practically swallows an entire pizza slice whole, barely chewing it, before he reaches for a second piece. 

Donghyuk stared dejectedly at his own food, mind clouded with too many thoughts.  

“--Donghyuk? Donghyuk?”

He snapped his head up, eyes wide as he stared at Bobby’s confused expression. 

“Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name for like the last five minutes.”

“S-sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

“Oh. Do you want to talk about it?”

He pauses uneasily; this would be the best segue into it but his heart is thundering in his chest and Bobby looks at him with warm brown eyes that he freezes. “I, uh, the reason that I wanted-- You see, there’s no-- I think you’re a--” He trips over his words, stumbling all over the place as he struggles to figure out how to word this. With a deep sigh, Donghyuk looks up. “You’re a really great guy, hyung. The best really.”

“You’re great too, Donghyuk.”

“And I really like you.”

“I really like you too.”

“But lately… It’s just that I’ve… I mean, there’s no easy way to put this--”

“I get it. I mean, we’ve only been together for a month. It’s not like we’re married.” Bobby flashes him a wry grin and he feels guiltier because Bobby is such a good guy. 

“But I just… It’s not you, it’s me.” He does facepalm at this. “Dear God, did I just use a cliche? I’m sorry, this is not how I wanted this to go.”

There’s a breathless chuckle from across the table. “It’s okay, Donghyuk. This kind of stuff? It happens, we’re young, and it was nice. Can’t ask for more than that. Besides, I kinda knew what I was already getting into when I asked you out.”

He tilts his head, confusion written across his face. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think it’s really my place to say but… I hope you and Junhwe really work out, okay?”

Donghyuk sits dumbly, staring at the athlete as he gets up to leave. 

“I’ll see you around, Dong.” 

_ His life would be 10000% easier if he had just fallen in love with Bobby _ . 

\-----

**friday**

He hasn’t been to a basketball game in weeks, and to be completely honest, he’s a little nervous. He’s wearing an old Seoul U T-shirt he found in the back of his closet and a pair of ripped jeans as he stands in the bleachers with Jungkook and Yugyeom flanking either side of him. 

His heart hammers loudly in his chest as the buzzer blares in the stadium, players running onto court, grinning at the loud support of their fans. Bobby waves at him and he waves back, smile strained slightly before he focuses on the court again, eyes landing on Junhwe ( _ like they usually do _ ). 

The basketball player stares at him for a long second before he turns away, a glimpse of hope or desperation or something on his face. 

\-----

It’s a nail-biting game; everyone is on the edge of their seats as shoes skid on the polished floors. Korea University is barely pulling ahead in the final quarter and it’s driving everyone crazy. 

Donghyuk bounces on his feet, watching with bated breath as Yoongi passes the ball to Junhwe, faking a left pass in the last twenty seconds of the game. The other male dribble quickly, bounding across the court as he moves to dunk the basketball ball into the metal rim. 

The buzzer goes off and the crowd roars as Seoul University defeats their long-time rival in a close 115-112 victory. 

Jimin immediately rushes onto the court, smile wide as he launches himself at his boyfriend. Taehyung drags Jungkook into the celebratory mob while Yugyeom follows with a sheepish shrug. He stands on the bleachers for a long second before slowly making his way down to the court. 

He dodges enthusiastic fans as he treads lightly on the basketball court, smiling softly when Jungkook throws him a thumbs up before letting himself get dragged away by Taehyung. Donghyuk shook his head fondly, watching as students began filing out of the stadium. 

There’s a few stragglers who linger behind, otherwise, it’s really just him and a few of the other players left standing in the court. He kicks his feet on the polished floorboards, looking up to see Junhwe standing in front of him, staring at him curiously. 

He clears his throat. “T-that was a really good game.” ( _ “Real smooth, Kim Donghyuk.” “Oh, you’re one to talk, Jungkook.” _ ) 

“Thanks.”

They stand in silence, looking at each other but also not really looking at each other. 

“A-are you going to the party?” 

“Probably not.”

“Oh.” God, please let a hole swallow him now.

“Well, I should go change.” Junhwe moves to walk past him.

“Will you come to my showcase?” 

They both freeze, staring at each other. 

“What?”

“My showcase. It’s next Saturday. Not this coming Saturday, obviously. The next one.”  _ Oh, god, he’s rambling now _ . “I mean, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to--”

“I’ll be there.”

He pauses, looking up to see Junhwe blinking back with a blank expression. “R-really?”

“Yeah.” 

“O-okay. Cool. Awesome. Terrific. Bee’s knees.” ( _ Bee’s knees? What the hell? _ ) “I’m going to stop talking now. Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” 

Junhwe breaks into a small grin and it, maybe, makes his heart flutter. “Alright. Cool. Awesome. Terrific. Bee’s knees.” He teases. 

Donghyuk groans, throwing whatever confetti he has left from the game at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> such a shitty chapter. i know. 
> 
> but the next chapter is this monster (like bigger than the last chapter) that i haven't even finished because I'm trash like that. 
> 
> also why do i keep doing this to Bobby? like every fucking story i write, i'm just "lolz. bobby doesn't get the guy in the end." he did nothing wrong. he is like an angel without wings (so, a person?) and i torture him. maybe he'll get a happy ending next time. 
> 
> aND can we just talk about dong being like a cliche character in a rom-com. like of course, he doesn't go for the sweet, nice, caring second lead AKA bobby and he knows IT. #META


	8. Interlude: Koo Junhwe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koo Junhwe’s Super Awesome Playlist  
> (or the super cheesy mixtape he gives to impress someone he likes)  
> -Can’t Feel My Face - The Weeknd  
> -Thinkin’ About You - Frank Ocean  
> -Bad Decisions - Ariana Grande  
> -I Am You, You Are Me - Zico  
> -Solo (feat. Hoody) - Jay Park  
> -Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake  
> -All of Me - John Legend  
> -XO - Beyonce  
> -Can’t Take My Eyes Off You - Jersey Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is legit 39 pages.

**[It Starts With A Party]**

His vision is blurry and his tongue tastes of alcohol but lights are flashing and the music is thumping too loudly that he can’t stop. The party is going hard and he chugs another drink of something he can’t name.

He dances in the crowd, bodies pressed together as his hands naturally grip onto warm hips. The other person is obviously very skilled, throwing his body into the music and even in the hazy light of Yoongi’s living room, they’re glowing. 

Junhwe grins lazily and when they look up at him, smile wide, he thinks the room just got brighter. That or there was something else mixed in his drink. 

\-----

The heat of the room makes everything hazy and even though it’s dark, the moonlight seeps through the blinds with a bright glow. Junhwe takes deep heavy breaths, alcohol slowly clearing out of his system as he looks down to see a smaller male pillowed on his arm. 

He’s fast asleep, steady breathing as his chest heaves calmly; he’s wearing a serene smile as he sleeps and Junhwe moves to brush away some hair from his eyes. He’s kinda cute.

_ This night could’ve been worse. _

\-----

**[Then The Morning After]**

Junhwe wakes up in a daze, the air breezing through the vents leaving him in a slight chill; he looks over to his left to see an empty space, still barely warm to the touch. He shakes his head before holding it in his hands when the inevitable hangover hits him. 

“Fuck everything.” He declares to no one. 

_ Buzz! Buzz! _

He blindly reaches for his phone on the nightstand, dropping it onto his lap before finally unlocking it. 

_ Jinhwan-hyung _

_ Come over. 10:39am _

_ I want to get back together 10:40am _

_ I’m sorry for what I said. 10:41am _

_ Let’s talk over breakfast 10:44am _

_ Okay. 10:51am _

He throws his phone back on the nightstand, falling back on a heap of sheets and pillows; his head is throbbing and all he wants to do is sleep for five more hours but he forces himself to get up, grabbing some clothes from the dresser and slipping into a pair of old, worn sweats. 

He moves to grab his phone again, eyes catching on a colorful lanyard; Junhwe digs into his pocket, pulling out his own Darth Vader themed one with his keys at the end, carefully picking up the discarded item on his nightstand. He flips it over in his hands a few times before zeroing in on the student ID trapped in the protective casing. 

_ Seoul University _

_ Kim Donghyuk _

_ Class of 2021 _

_ ID# 0103972015 _

The name gives him pause and he stares at the little blurred ID picture before shaking himself out of his reverie. He tosses the ID on the desk and turns to walk out of his dorm. 

\-----

“I’ll be right back. Just wait here.”

He nods, surveying the layout of Jinhwan’s room as he quietly leaves; there’s little remnants from his high school days and a few old posters of Big Bang taped on the wall. He chances a glance at the other side of the room, noting that Jinhwan’s roommate is seemingly well-organized aside from the little pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. He walks over to their desk, grinning sheepishly at a crudely made picture frame. It’s an elementary school photo of young kids and brightly colored backpacks; he doesn’t really give it to much thought but he pauses at the little figure in the front left corner, moving to look more closely when there’s a sudden noise. 

Junhwe turns to see the bathroom door swing open, steam echoing into the dorm before a figure tousling their hair in a fluffy white towel emerges. They don’t seem to realize he’s there, walking straight into his broad chest and losing their footing; he acts out of instinct, immediately stretching out his arm to secure them before they knock themselves out on the hardwood floor. 

_ To be honest, I'm surprised my reflexes were quick enough to catch them. That’s some real superhero shit right there.  _

The dorm room door unlocks and his boyfriend walks in with a look of confusion as he stares at both of them; he immediately breaks his hold, wincing when the stranger falls with a soft thud.  _ Oops. _

“This is my roommate, Donghyuk.” 

He freezes; the possibilities are slim. Zero to none… Right?

“This is my boyfriend, Junhwe.” 

And he’s staring into familiar brown eyes and tanned honey skin with warm brown locks and  _ shit. Shit. Shit. Abort! Abort! _

“Hey, dude, what’s up?”

“H-hey, nice to meet you, man.”  _ Fuck. Why did I have to stutter?  _

Jinhwan says something before grabbing his arm, dragging him out of the room; he nods dumbly, trying his best to forget sunny smiles and soft laughter. 

\-----

Junhwe leans against the back of his bed’s headboard, flipping the ID card over and over in his hands. He’s practically memorized the little thing, fingers smoothing over the scuffed edges, the little scratches into the hard plastic. 

He squints at the small photo for the umpteenth time before leaning back again, head bumping against the wooden headboard. He takes another hard look at the blurry ID photo before closing his eyes. 

\-----

He walks into the small lecture hall, a few minutes left before class began; already, there were a few classmates smiling coyly at him, obviously recognizing him from the school’s basketball team. He was going to opt to sit in the corner by himself when he recognized a figure, staring down at his notebook, writing diligently. 

Junhwe wore a small smile, bounding up the steps before sliding into the empty seat beside him. He waited patiently for the other male to notice him but he was too engrossed in his notes. Bringing his mouth with his fist he cleared his throat with a load “ahem.” 

Donghyuk looked up, openly staring at him.

He awkwardly coughed to get the smaller male to somewhat acknowledge him other than staring at him weirdly. 

_ Did he…? _

_ No _ . 

He reached into his backpack, pulling out the lanyard that had been gnawing at him for the last two days. “You left it. On my desk. When you left that morning.”

Donghyuk looks at him with red cheeks, snatching the ID out of his hands; he watches it slip out of his fingers, debating one last second if he should wrap his fingers around it, around his hand, around him. But the moment passes. 

He says something and it takes a moment for him to comprehend what he said, sitting together in silence. 

    “Did you--”

“Please don’t--”

They both freeze. 

“You go.” Donghyuk breaks first. 

    “I was just…”  _ Going to ask if you remember me.  _ “I was just going to ask if you mentioned anything to Jinhwan?”  _ I'm  a coward _ . 

    Donghyuk sighs, shaking his head, “No. He already hates me; I don’t need to give him a legitimate reason to.”

    Junhwe tensely nods.  _ Shit, what should he say? _ “Uh, thanks.”  _ Smooth. Real smooth.  _

\-----

He stares down at the little photo tucked into the back of his wallet behind IDs and unused coupons; he thumbs at the fading edges, the glossy picture dulled from years of being stuffed in old pockets and slipped between the pages of ratty textbooks. 

Junhwe can only look down at his eight year old self, grinning widely with chubby cheeks and a missing tooth, arm slung around tightly another kid his age. They’re beaming at the camera, the red straps of their backpacks brightly contrasting against the brick exterior of the Seoul City Elementary School.

\-----

**[Who Cares If We Break Up?]**

It’s no surprise that they’ve broken up again. It’s the same routine: all the screaming and fighting that he barely bats an eye when Jinhwan hurls something past his face.  _ It’s a lamp _ . 

It crashes into a big heap on the floor, shattered porcelain or whatever the fuck it’s made of and then he looks at Jinhwan. Looks at his fuming expression, the furrowed brow and he just wants to get out. He wants to get out because this isn’t what either of them want. What either of them deserve. 

As much as they fight and scream and everything, he does want Jinhwan to be happy and it’s obviously not with him but they hold on. They hold on to what’s familiar and what used to be happy. 

Some psychologists might say they have a codependent relationship stemming from their own personal abandonment issues but what the fuck do they know? They would also probably say that Junhwe has a tendency to push people away in an effort to protect himself. But seriously, what the FUCK do they know?

\-----

_ Alcohol rarely solves any real problems _ . But it does help.

It’s why he’s holding a half empty cup of Sprite™ and whiskey, barely buzzed, watching his colleagues drink like it’s the end of the world and they have nothing to lose. He’s planning on finishing this one cup and head back to his dorm so he can wallow in self-pity or some bullshit. 

But he looks up by the makeshift table filled with different drinks and snacks and he sees Donghyuk; the other male is swaying along to the loud bass of the song and even in the dim lights of Yoongi’s apartment, there’s a glow around him. 

And he should go. Junhwe should dump his cup into the makeshift trashcan and turn around and leave because he’s only setting himself up but then he turns around and walks right up to Donghyuk. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Okay, one conversation. It’s harmless. Nothing big. 

But he looks up at Junhwe with almond-shaped eyes and long lashes and the alcohol gives him a soft pink flush. And it becomes a moment of weakness. 

\-----

His mind isn’t nearly as cloudy as it should be; it’s like the adrenaline has burned all the alcohol out of his system while he lies on his back, staring up at Donghyuk with hooded eyes and awe.

\-----

Donghyuk lies on his back, tucked into his side with soft breathing. Junhwe looks down with hitched breaths; he can practically count the individual lashes resting on soft cheeks. His lips are rosy and his black bangs are ruffled across his forehead. 

_ One moment of weakness. One moment and I’ll leave you alone _ .  _ Forever. _

\-----

He’s working at the counter of the little library cafe and if Junhwe had any self-perseverance, he’d leave and go to a Starbucks™ but he doesn’t. Because he’s Koo Junhwe and instead, he stands in front of him, self-conscious of Donghyuk’s friends watching them. 

He needs to uphold some sort of dignity and reputation so he orders a small americano even though he hates the bitter taste of coffee. 

\-----

_ He goes back because he wants coffee not because Donghyuk is working alone and he wants an excuse to talk to him.  _

\-----

**[Project: Life Is Messing With Him]**

He glances at the bulletin board, eyes tracing over the familiar black lettering of his name before running over the foreign look of the name beside it.  _ Life has got to be messing with him _ . 

Junhwe stares for another long second before suddenly looking down as someone runs into him. Donghyuk stares up at him, lips in a tight line before he runs away with red cheeks. 

He stands for a long second before following after him; he’s at a far table in the cafeteria, talking animatedly with his friends that leaves a tinge of jealousy but he ignores it and moves to discuss their upcoming presentation.

They find an isolated table in the back of the library, shoving their textbooks on top. They sit on opposite sides, sitting in awkward silence. 

“I think we should do the project on the Japanese Invasion--”

“What we did last week was wrong and--”

They both pause, staring at each other in confusion. 

Junhwe breaks first, “What?”

Donghyuk glances down at the table with a deep breath. “I just… I feel like we need to address the elephant in the room. The elephant being the fact that we’ve,” he leans in to whisper, “slept together. Twice!” 

_ Does he remember? _ “So? It’s not like it meant anything.”  _ Why did I say that? God, curse my tongue _ . 

“Well, yeah. But you’re dating my roommate.”

“Not right now. We’re currently broken up. So it’s technically not cheating.”

Now Donghyuk’s looking at him with shock (and a little bit of disgust). “That’s it? Since it’s technically not cheating, you’re fine.”

Junhwe rolls his eyes, “Look, it’s great that you have some sort of moral compass,  _ right now _ , but you weren’t exactly saying no on Friday.”  _ Fuck me and my stupid brain that doesn’t shut up _ .

“I was drunk!”

“So was I but you don’t hear me bragging about it.” Junhwe pinches the bridge of his nose, “Listen, what we did wasn’t illegal and technically, it wasn’t wrong.”  _ I need to stop talking or Donghyuk’s really going to think I'm a jerk.  _

“What about the first time?”

“What?”

“The first time we, you know.” Donghyuk makes an awkward hand gesture with flushed cheeks and he looks  _ cute _ . “You guys were together, then, right?”

He pauses, “Oh,  _ oh,  _ that. No. We had broken up a week before that. We got back together the morning after. He texted me when you left my dorm asking to get back together.”  _ Why not tell him your entire life story, Koo Junhwe? _

“That’s… That’s still not okay!” 

“Why not? We didn’t commit a crime. Me and Jinhwan weren’t together so it’s all good so you’re off the hook. Don’t worry about it.”  _ Yeah, Donghyuk definitely, 100% thinks I'm an asshole now. _

“I think you should feel a little guilty about this. I’m your boyfriend’s roommate.”

“So? It’s whatever. Now, about this project--”  _ WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? _

\-----

He stops by the party but he leaves as soon as he sees Donghyuk laughing at something Bobby says; it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he’s sure it’s not alcohol. 

Instead, he goes to Jinhwan hyung and they’re back together and for a brief moment he forgets who Donghyuk is. 

\-----

He’s staring at the wrinkled old photo again, pressing his fingers against the corner in a poor attempt to straighten it out. Junhwe stares at the little boy with the wide grin before glancing at the kid beside him. 

_ I missed you, you know. More than you could ever imagine _ . 

\-----

It’s a dangerous game; he’s playing with fire and he knows that. But Donghyuk grins at him and laughs with him and he feels like he’s eight years old, hanging off the jungle gym with his best friend. 

\-----

**[Clean Clothes, Clean Mind]**

Junhwe dumps his laundry into the washing machine, setting his basket to the side before pouring the blue detergent into the little cap, measuring out a half cup before dumping it in the machine as well. He pushes a few coins into the machine, watching as it whirs to life as he places the detergent back into his basket. He digs into his pocket, grimacing when he notices he’s going to be short a few coins for the next load; he lightly jogs over to the coin station, reaching into his wallet to pull out a crisp 1000 won bill when his eye catches on something. He leans forward to pick up a familiar lanyard and ID card from the top of the machine, shaking his head fondly as he realizes Donghyuk forgot it again. 

He moves to pocket the item, mentally noting to stop by his dorm to drop it off when a figure whirls into the laundry room, frantically searching. Junhwe snorts, casually walking over as he stood over Donghyuk’s frame. “You seem to forget your student ID a lot.” The way Donghyuk flushes and looks up endearingly leaves him grinning, “You left it over by the coin station.”

Their hands brush when Donghyuk grabs the ID and either his heart skipped or he’s developing a heart condition. 

And while, he wants to figure out why, he finds himself racing to Jinhwan’s dorm, pounding on the door before it swings open; he breathes a sigh of relief to see him, placing his hands on his shoulders to check over him. 

Junhwe doesn’t even realize there’s another person until an awkward cough interrupts the silence. He looks over to see someone sitting on Donghyuk’s bed and he tries not to dwell on it, not when Jinhwan has dried tears on his cheeks. 

\-----

“What happened?”

They’re leaning against Jinhwan’s headboard, shoulder to shoulder as they stare at the blank wall.

“...She called.”

He takes a deep sigh, “Hyung, I thought we talked about this--”

“She’s my mother, Junhwe. I can’t just ignore her.”

“Yes, you can. The only time she calls is when she needs money. She doesn’t care about you.”

“Junhwe--”

“No, don’t ‘Junhwe’ me. I’m sick of watching you getting taken advantage of. You said,  _ you said, _ that once you graduate high school, you’d cut her off. That’s what you told me but you’re still under her thumb. You’re an adult. You’re not obligated to do her any sort of favors.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You wouldn’t get it.”

They both freeze before he shakes his head, grabbing his jacket from the bedpost, “You’re right. I wouldn’t get it.” 

“Junhwe, wait. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know what you meant.” He swings open the door, slamming it shut behind him as he walks out. 

\-----

**[I Could Write a Song on My New Piano]**

Jinhwan texts him and he doesn’t care. He shoves his phone into the bottom of his backpack and doesn’t bother to check it when it buzzes incessantly. 

Instead, he sits on the polished black bench, fingers running smoothly over the ebony and ivory keys. It’s a soft melody and he doesn’t stop playing even when he hears the soft shuffle of feet (probably the janitor telling him the music rooms are closed). When he finishes dancing over the keys, he looks over his shoulder, stilling when he sees Donghyuk leaning against the doorframe. He coughs into his fist, staring as the other student finally opens his eyes, cheeks pink as realization dawns on him. 

He tries to stammer out an excuse but Junhwe doesn’t mind. He quietly beckons him over, feeling a warm presence sit next to him as he begins playing Taeyang’s “Wedding Dress.” He peeks in the corner of his eye when a weight drops on his shoulder, a small smile on his lips before he begins to quietly mouth the words, voice echoing in the music room. 

_ Thump. Thump. Thump.  _

He pretends his heart isn’t racing. 

\-----

**[I Don’t Want to Miss a (Tutoring) Thing]**

    “I’m sorry, Junhwe. I know you must be busy with classes and basketball--”

    “It’s alright. Any excuse to hang out with this munchkin.” He ruffles Chanwoo’s hair. 

    “I’m not a munchkin! I’m the tallest kid in my grade!”

    He grins, pretending to measure the little kid before shrugging sheepishly, “I don’t know…” Chanwoo pouts and he laughs, ruffling his hair again before looking up again. “Don’t worry Sister Francesca, I’ll take him to the doctor’s and maybe after we can go play on the playground.” He beams down at the little kid who nods excitedly.

    “Thank you again, Junhwe--”

    “Sister Francesca!”

    The nun looks back at the old brick building, “Well, it seems I am needed.” She pats his shoulder warmly before hurrying back. 

\-----

“It’s going to hurt!” Chanwoo crosses his arms angrily. 

“I know, buddy. But I’ll be here the whole time.”

“I don’t like shots!”

“No one really does.”  _ Well, maybe except for jello shots _ . “But you can hold my hand the whole time and Dr. Park promises you can pick any lollipop flavor you want.”

The little boy peeks through his eyelashes, “Can I have two lollipops?”

Junhwe glances at the doctor who smiles encouragingly, nodding.

“Yeah, you can have two lollipops.”

“...Okay.” 

He ignores the buzz of his phone as he holds Chanwoo’s hand, cheering him on for being brave. 

\-----

Jinhwan calls him when he drops off Chanwoo, ruffling his hair once last time before tiredly agreeing to a movie night; he trudges through campus, limbs exhausted before he makes it to his boyfriend’s dorm. 

They settle into the small twin sized bed and his eyes drop tiredly as Jinhwan snuggles into his chest, hitting the play button so  _ Deadpool _ plays on the laptop screen. He falls in and out of sleep, laughing drily at the quick comebacks and inappropriate humor before jolting awake when Donghyuk walks in.

He looks frustrated and when he sees them on the bed, his fury seems to grow but he could be imagining things. 

\-----

He takes three deep breaths, cautiously peering through the window of the cafe; Donghyuk’s tying his apron around his waist and he knows if he doesn’t get the balls to go in apologize now, he never will. 

With slow, careful steps, he walks in with schooled expression. He stands at the counter until Donghyuk turns around ( _ even when he’s not dancing, he’s graceful _ ). 

Donghyuk turns around and it takes him a second before he narrows his eyes at him; Junhwe gulps before cautiously ordering a drink as the other male spits out a question. He takes another deep breath, about to apologize but he’s cut off and it makes his heart race because this isn’t what he wanted. 

He goes to leave, shoulders slumped dejectedly. 

“Tomorrow. 7pm. Don’t be late.”

He looks up; Donghyuk doesn’t even turn around to address him but he doesn’t care. His lips widen into a grin, “I’ll be there! Promise!” He pumps his fist in the air before swiftly twirling around to walk out the cafe.  _ He walks into a pole but that’s nobody’s business and Donghyuk didn’t even see him _ . 

\-----

**[Dance Like No One’s Watching]**

Donghyuk stands up, heading to the stereo before turning back to face the large floor to ceiling mirrors; his gaze hardens, limbs poised and taut as he begins dancing to the music. Donghyuk’s smooth and fluid; he’s all lean and taut muscle that moves effortlessly to the rhythm. It’s different from the usual spastic being he sees in class or scurrying out of Jinhwan’s dorm room. He’s completely at ease with each step that he can’t look away. 

Then the dancer halts, throwing his hands through his hair in frustration after a off-beat step. 

“You should take a break.” He offers his best half smile, watching as a bead of sweat slides down the other’s temple. Junhwe gulps inaudibly before reaching into his bag, pulling out an unopened bottle of water to hand him. 

He should go; he should really go because this is dangerous. Donghyuk’s just a guy he’s hooked up with a few times and a classmate, nothing more. But then he starts dancing again and his heartbeat rings in his ears and he can’t look away and he doesn’t remember when he last felt like this. “You’re very talented.”

    “Thanks.” There’s a quiet pause. “Why are you here so late?” 

    Junhwe looks up from his very interested gaze on his worn sneakers, “I like to play the piano sometimes… It relaxes me.”  _ It makes me forget sometimes.   _

    Donghyuk nods silently, “You’re really good.” 

    “Thanks.” 

    Their eyes catch and Donghyuk blushes before looking away.  _ Cute.  _

    “Were you practicing for the spring showcase?” He tilts his head curiously, looking around the empty dance studio. 

    “Yeah, I’m actually practicing for the freshman solo.” He grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with a small stretch; his shirt rides up a bit but he pretends not to notice.

    “Really? That’s awesome!”  _ You were always talented _ . “Can I see your routine or is it a secret?”

    He giggles,  _ goddamn giggles _ , “I haven’t finished choreographing it.” He stretches before adding, “But I can show you what I’ve got so far.”

_     And it’s unfair that Donghyuk dances incredibly. It’s unfair that every day Junhwe falls deeper and harder than the day before and Donghyuk has no idea.  _

\-----

“Anyway, we ended up getting caught by our third grade teacher. Got grounded for a week and me and Jungkook weren’t allowed to sit next to each other for the rest of the school year.” 

Junhwe’s laugh echoes on the empty campus, the path lit with old fashioned street lamps. “And that’s the story of how you met your best friend?”

“Yup. And for the record, I was a very good kid growing up, Jungkook happens to bring out the worst in me.” 

“At least you’ve got a friend to stick with you through thick and thin.”  _ I missed having that _ . 

“Yeah… Yeah, I do.” Donghyuk grins warmly as they continue to walk through the campus streets, “What about you? Who’s your best friend?”

He looks over with wide eyes before softening with a smile, “My best friend? His name’s Chanwoo, a little younger than us but a good kid.”  _ It used to be someone else _ .  _ It used to be you. _

He doesn’t say anymore, too scared that he’ll let everything out and bare the truth for all to see. They still have a few more blocks to go so he looks ahead, the glowing yellow windows of the dorm buildings coming into view.

“So, how long have you been with Jinhwan hyung?”

He freezes, glancing at Donghyuk with tightly drawn lips before sighing heavily. “Well, I was a freshman in high school when we met. But we didn’t start dating until midway through my sophomore year.” 

“Oh. That’s a long time.” Donghyuk comments quietly.  

“Yeah… Maybe too long.”  _ Why don’t you remember me?  _ He thinks about confronting him; he thinks about asking him why he doesn’t remember. How he could forget? How he could forget  _ him _ ? How he could forget  _ them _ ? “Good night.”

Donghyuk looks up through dark, fluttering lashes and he falters. He tries to remind himself of his promise. Of his promise to let go. He was just going to see Donghyuk, see how much he had changed and that would be the end of it. He’d no longer be plagued by the thoughts of  _ what if _ but he goddamn falters. Because now that he sees how wonderful and kind and funny Donghyuk is,  _ still is _ , he wants more.

“Good night.” 

They stand under the warm glow of the street lamp and he thinks about leaning in; just pressing their lips together and how everything would melt away. But  _ Jinhwan _ . He’s dating Jinhwan. Jinhwan who he’s known since high school. Jinhwan who he fights with constantly. Jinhwan who helped him get over his shit. Jinhwan who deserves better. 

And for ( _ maybe the second time in his life _ ) he watches Donghyuk walk away. 

\-----

**[Sometimes You Drive Me Crazy]**

“Why are you even studying economics if you hate it so much?”

Junhwe looks across the library table to see Donghyuk looking over his textbook; they should be working on their presentation but he had whined for fifteen minutes about needing a break. “I’m good at it.”

“Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should major in it. I’m good at math but you don’t see me majoring in it.”

He rolls his eyes, pretending to be annoyed as he bites his lip to stop from smiling. 

“Seriously. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. You’re only going to be miserable in the future.”

His tone is soft and warm that he looks up at Donghyuk with a little bit of awe and maybe a little bit of happiness. He flashes a wry grin, “I wouldn’t know what else to do.” 

“What?  _ The Koo Junhwe _ doesn’t know what to do? Call the papers, I’ve got the inside scoop on basketball extraordinaire Koo Junhwe.” The smaller student dramatically waves out, grinning widely. 

“Shut up. You’re an idiot.” He beams back, grabbing his notebook from prying hands. 

“No, you’re the idiot.” Donghyuk bites back a smile, arguing childishly with crossed arms. “Didn’t you know? In this relationship, you’re the idiot.”

_ His heart doesn’t skip. Shut up. _

\-----

After several hours cooped up in the library, he manages to convince the other student to finally call it a night, packing all their things into bags before dropping the books to be reshelved. 

Although, spring is almost upon them, the night air is chilly as they pass through campus; side by side, they stroll towards the dormitories, silence shared between them. Junhwe peeks in the corner of his eye to see Donghyuk shivering slightly, arms wrapped around his torso in a poor attempt to trap heat. With quick movements, he slips out of his sweater, draping it over the other male’s shoulders. Donghyuk’s so thin that it practically envelopes him;  _ cute _ . 

They shuffle under old streetlamps before they reach the stone steps of the Yi Sun-Shin dorms; he looks up, pursing his lips when he sees a familiar figure sitting on the cold steps. 

Bobby looks up at the sound of their approaching footsteps, smile wide before he notices Junhwe. He can see the other look at them with a bit of confusion before offering a strained grin. 

He looks over to see the nerves wash over Donghyuk, trying to diffuse whatever tension was lingering among them. With upturned lips, he looks over at the smaller male, not sparing another glance at his teammate, “Good night, Donghyuk.”

“W-wait! Don’t you need your hoodie?” Donghyuk makes a move to take off his sweater but he reaches out to stop him. 

“Give it to me later.”  _ I like it when you wear my things _ . 

He turns to leave, walking down the street toward the rest of the dorms without a glance back. 

\-----

**[I Can’t Function Without Coffee]**

    The little bells over the door jingled slightly as he pushed his way inside to the cafe; he saw Donghyuk standing behind the counter, talking to his friend ( _ Jungkook? _ ) as some other people walk up to them enthusiastically. The smaller male grins at all three of them, grabbing their orders before turning away to man the cashier again. 

    With a shy smile, he shuffles up to the counter, waiting patiently as everyone else disperses seconds later. 

    Donghyuk looks up, shaking his head slightly as he clears his throat quietly. “Your usual or…?”

    “Y-yeah. I mean, yes please.” He answers with pink cheeks, dropping the money in his hand before turning around to search for an empty table. He settles into a table by the large windows, grabbing different supplies from his bag as he peeks at Donghyuk making his drink. Smiling softly to himself, he flips open his economics textbook before finding an empty page in his notebook to begin studying. 

    “Special delivery for one Koo Junhwe.” 

    He looks up with a grin, “Do I need to sign for this or anything…?”

    “Please, I don’t want your autograph. Although, I bet I could sell it to one of your adoring fans.” 

    Junhwe laughs, the noise moving through his body before looking at him again. “Are you off work now?” 

    “Nah, but I can take my fifteen break now. It’s not really busy and Seungyoon hyung can handle it.” Donghyuk slid into the other seat, smiling warmly before peeking down at the open notes. “Are you studying for a test?”

    “Yeah, the mid term exam is in two weeks.” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, yawning quietly before he took a sip of his hot drink.

    “That’s pretty close to when our presentation is.” 

    He nods, already dreading that week of tests and presentations. 

    “Are you nervous?”

    “It should be fine. I’ve done pretty well on the quizzes so far.” He shrugs, stretching his limbs before glancing at Donghyuk’s expression.

    “That’s good. Do you like it?”

    Pausing, he looks at his notebook before looking back at the other student; he bites his lip before letting go of a deep breath. “I’m good at it.”

    “That wasn’t my question.” Donghyuk stares at him like he can see through him. 

    “What does it matter if it’s going to pay the bills?” He tries to look nonchalant, trying to relax as he flips through his textbook.  _ Who cares if I’m happy?  _

    “If you don’t like it now, you’re going to hate it in the future.”

    He refuses to look away from his paper, silence lingering between them.  

    “Well, I should get back to work.”

    Junhwe doesn’t acknowledge Donghyuk leaving, glaring at the page in front of him. 

\-----

The chair scratches against the floor as it’s pulled out; he looks up to see Jinhwan smiling at him before leaning forward to whisper, “Hey there, stranger.” 

He grins back, grabbing some of his unused books and pushing them into his backpack to make some room. “Long time no see.” He murmurs back; he briefly registers the cafe door opening and closing again. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?”

Looking up at a loud and familiar voice, he saw Donghyuk standing behind the counter, holding his hand.

“I just, I just accidentally spilled some hot milk on my hand. I’m fine.” 

He pushes his chair back, grabbing his emergency kit from the front pocket of his backpack before striding over. 

“You should be more careful. That looks pretty red, are you sure you don’t want to go to the health center to check?”

“I’m fine hyung--”

He reaches over to grab Donghyuk’s wrist, tugging him close as he gently presses an ointment over the burn. Junhwe rips open a band-aid, carefully laying it across red skin.

He feels Donghyuk slowly pull away, looking up at him with a surprised look before whispering, “Thanks…”

Stepping back away from the counter, he makes a beeline back to his table, chair scratching on the floor once more as he sits; he ignores the heavy stares and concentrates on his notebook. 

Someone clears his throat, “Well, that was nice of Junhwe to help out.” He briefly registers Bobby speaking. “You must be Junhwe’s boyfriend. I don’t think we’ve ever met. I’m on the basketball team with Junhwe.” He comes over to the table, shadow looming over him as Junhwe tries to focus on the printed words of his textbook. 

“Jinhwan. Junhwe’s boyfriend and Donghyuk’s roommate.”

“What? Really? Small world.” 

“Yeah, really small.” Jinhwan’s being sarcastic but the athlete doesn’t notice. 

“Well, like I said, I’m Junhwe’s teammate and hopefully, Donghyuk’s future boyfriend.” 

He tightens his hand into a fist, taking deep breaths.  

“Oh, well, I hope everything works out between you two.”

“Me too.” Bobby sounds joyous. “Hey, what are you guys doing Valentine’s day? It’s in like a week.”

“Me and Junhwe haven’t really thought about it.”

“Then how about a double date? It’ll be fun, promise!”

“Junhwe, what do you think?”

\-----

**[Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark Holiday Designed to Rip People Off]**

Junhwe won’t admit it but he’s made a few  _ bad  _ decisions in life. Most of them involve alcohol but this one was made completely sober. 

So here he sits; on an uncomfortable wooden chair, staring at a menu with fancy lettering that lists different Italian dishes in a seemingly random order. He pulls the leather bound menu up to his face, hiding his discomfort as everyone else tries to make small talk in this cramped restaurant. 

It’s when Jinhwan begins doling out relationship advice that he realizes he can’t keep just ignoring everyone at the table; using the menu as a shield, he gives his boyfriend an incredulous look before glancing at Donghyuk. He mouths mockingly at him, reaching for the shared bread basket in the middle of table as he chews off the end. 

The other male does his best to hide his smile, stuffing his cheeks with bread to choke down a grin. It’s endearing; he kind of looks like a chipmunk and he wants to leans over and squish his cheeks together. 

But he doesn’t. 

Because they’re friends.  _ Just friends _ . 

\-----

After stuffing themselves with endless pasta and chicken parm to avoid any more awkward small talk, they sit around the round table, waiting for dessert. 

    “What should we have for dessert?”

    He looks over at Bobby studying the dessert menu with rapt interest. 

“Should we share? There’s a chocolate raspberry trifle.” Jinhwan points at something at the bottom of the menu with a flashy grin. 

_ Donghyuk doesn’t like raspberries _ .  

“That sounds good. Should we just order two of those?” Bobby and Jinhwan grin at each other. 

“I don’t really like raspberries.” Donghyuk comments. 

“I’m not a big fan of that much chocolate. It’s too rich.” Junhwe adds; he ignores Jinhwan’s look of suspicion. 

“Well, then what do you think we should order?” Bobby has a warm grin, trying to be accommodating but it just puts him on edge. 

“There’s a strawberry cheesecake.” Donghyuk smiles back. 

“That sounds good.” Junhwe grins.  _ Donghyuk loved strawberries _ . “We could get one of each.”

“So,cheesecake isn’t too rich but chocolate is?” Jinhwan accuses, eyes narrowed slightly as he darts between him and Donghyuk. 

All of them look over at him but he shrugs, calling over the waiter to grab their dessert orders.

\-----

    “You don’t like chocolate?” 

    He lifts his head from his comic book, looking up at Jinhwan sitting petulant in his desk chair in the athlete’s dorm. Junhwe sighs, shrugging sheepishly before turning back to the graphic novel. 

    “I’ve known you for five years. You love chocolate anything.”

    “Well, now I don’t.” 

    “You also hate cheesecake.”

    “No, I don’t.”

    “What’s up with you?”

    He sighs heavily, folding the corner of the page to mark his place. “I don’t want to fight. Not tonight.”

    “You’ve been acting really weird since you met Donghyuk.”

    “No, I haven’t.”

    “Yes, you have. He’s all you ever talk about now. It’s always Donghyuk this, Donghyuk that.”

    “That’s not true.”

    Jinhwan scoffs angrily, “I’m your boyfriend unless you’ve forgotten that little detail.” He stands up with a huff, storming towards the door. “He’s not  _ your  _ Donghyuk. He’s changed. He grew up. Maybe you should too.” The door slams shut. 

\-----

**[Dreams Are For Sleeping]**

“June, June, June!”

He looked up from where he had been carving random shapes into the dirt; a flurry of limbs launching him into the ground beneath him. He heaved as he lie back on the ground, looking back to see crinkled eyes and a toothy grin staring at him. 

“Get off, you’re heavy.”

The other figure pouts, red lips jutting out before he climbs off him, dusting off his cargo shorts and Captain America T-shirt.

“Don’t pout. You look weird.” He adds, standing up slowly. 

“You’re mean. Why’d I pick you to be my best friend? I should’ve asked Seokmin to be my best friend.” 

He frowns, “Hey! I never said I didn’t want to be your best friend. You said we’d best friends forever.”

The other kid grins, “And we are!” He reaches to grab his hand, “Come on! I want you to push me on the swings.”

Junhwe pretends to be annoyed but lets himself be dragged towards the playground, grinning as the other kid drops his red backpack on the gravel. He takes off his bag in similar fashion, walking behind the other kid to start pushing him on the swing. 

“We’re going to be best friends forever!”

“Whatever.” He mutters with a grin. 

\-----

He eventually decides he’s tired from swinging (even though Junhwe was the one doing all the pushing) and drags him up the hill, under the big tree to rest. He lies down on the soft grass, grabbing the other male’s legs to use as a rest, eyes fluttering closed. Junhwe feels small hands run through his dark hair, humming softly as the fall air breezes through the leaves. 

“June?”

“Yeah?”

“Will we really be friends forever?”

He opens an eye, peeking up at his best friend who looks down at him with a soft look. “Of course.”

“Even when we get married?”

Junhwe pouts, “Married?”

“Hyung says everyone gets married when they’re older.” 

He crosses his arms, brows furrowed in frustration. “Well, we’ll still be best friends when we get married.”

“Good.” The other kid continues to pet his hair, leaning against the tree trunk. “June?”

    “Yeah?”

    “I want to marry you when we’re older.”

    He sits up slowly, looking at the other kid curiously. “Why?”

    “Because I want to marry my best friend!” He beams at him, pearly white teeth and stretched lips. 

    “Okay. Me too.” He shyly admits, heart pounding in his chest. 

    “Really?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Promise?”

    “Promise, Donghyuk.”

\-----

He wakes up with a start, grabbing his chest through his thin cotton T-shirt. Junhwe looks over at his nightstand; it’s a little past 4AM.

He reaches for his wallet, digging through several different ID cards before pulling out the same old battered photo. He stares at the faded image, slowly lying down on the mattress with a deep sigh. He holds the picture close, taking deep breaths as he feels his heart stop hammering wildly against his chest. 

\-----

**[Why Do We Keep Holding On To This Thing That Doesn’t Work?]**

“Let’s break up.” He stands in the middle of the dorm room, looking down at Jinhwan who sits on his bed. 

“What? What did you just say?”

“I said, let’s break up.”

There’s a moment of silence that lingers between them; it’s suffocating and tense. 

“It’s Donghyuk, isn’t it?”

He finally looks away from his blank stare at the wall behind the older student. “What? No.”

“Yes it is. I see the way you look at him. The way you talk about him--”

“I don’t--”

“It’s pretty obvious. So, what now? You break up with me and you’re free to date him?” Jinhwan’s eyebrows are furrowed. “And then what? You guys are happy for a few years before all your shit catches up to you--”

“Stop.”

“No. If we’re breaking up  _ for real _ then I want to talk about all this shit. I want to talk about how you always do this. I want to talk about how you make people feel special and great, only to tear them down when they don’t live up to your unrealistic expectations. What are you waiting for, Junhwe? Still waiting for the kid that abandoned you ten years ago?” He’s standing in front of him, face red with rage. “Well, he’s gone! When are you going to accept that?  _ You  _ built this whole thing up in your mind and you’re only going to disappoint yourself when I or  _ Donghyuk  _  or whoever else will have to deal with your shit can’t live up to that! So why don’t you move the fuck on! Everyone else certainly has!” Jinhwan presses his palms against his chest, pushing him away. “Fine! Let’s break up then!” He pushes him out of the door, slamming it as he walks out of the dorm room, eyes wide. 

He buries his head in his hands, leaning against the thick oak door of the dorm room before pushing himself away.  _ How fucked up am I? _

He began walking towards the stairs, dragging his feet; Junhwe could practically feel the everyone’s stares as he walked through the dorm hallway, grimacing at everything. He turned into the stairwell, looking up to see three familiar figures, lounging in the area. 

One of them is awkwardly pressed up against the wall, lifting his head to nod at him. “Sup, man?” 

“Hey.” He quiety mutter back, shifting to walk past them; he glanced to his right, looking at Donghyuk staring back with a small smile. He musters whatever energy he has, tamping down any emotions to smile back before brushing past him down the stairs. 

\-----

“Here.” 

Junhwe looked up, tightening the laces on his sneakers to see Bobby hovering over him, arm outstretched with his sweater. He looked at the heather gray material, recognizing the item before hesitantly reaching for it. “Thanks.”

The older student nods, dropping his arm to his side. “I heard you broke up with Jinhwan.” 

“Yeah.” He stood up from the bench, turning around to stuff the sweater into his gym locker. 

There’s a long sigh and the other players are already heading to the gym to start practice, leaving them in silence. “What are you doing, Junhwe?”

He slammed his locker shut, the sound of metal clanking echoing in the locker room. He turned around, gritting his teeth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Do you like Donghyuk?”

“We’re friends.”

“That wasn’t my question.” Bobby grabbed a towel, hanging it around his neck. “I really like Donghyuk. He’s a great guy but I also don’t want to fight with a teammate.” He reached for his water bottle, walking towards the locker room exit. “I don’t want to fight with a friend.”

\-----

    The dance studio has become a quiet sanctuary away from the prying of the student body that’s suddenly so interested in why one of the school’s star basketball players has broken up with his high school sweetheart. It’s meaningless gossip but these people strive on it. 

“Why’d you do it?”

“Do what?” He mumbles, arm over his eyes as he lies on the cool hardwood surface of the practice room. 

“Why’d you guys break up?”

He peeked through the space between his arm; Donghyuk looked over at him with a look of sympathy. With a deep sigh, he moved to sit up, pressing his back against one of the mirrored walls, looking over the other male with thin lips. “I don’t know.”  _ Maybe I’m hoping you’ll come back to me _ . He stared down at his hands, avoiding eye contact, “I just couldn’t keep… We were unhappy so it made sense, you know?”  _ Because every moment I spend with you is happy and great and amazing when I should be feeling that way with Jinhwan.  _

Donghyuk whispers quietly, “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” 

He drops his head on the other’s shoulder;  _ his heart races _ . 

\-----

**[I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m With You]**

He’s had a good week; they aced their history presentation, he passed his economics test, ( _ he got hit in the head with a basketball _ )  and they just won the basketball game. He’s had a good week. 

Junhwe looks down with a wide grin; Donghyuk pulls away from walking into him, looking up with pink cheeks and a beaming smile. 

“Hey. Good game. That last shot was cool.” 

“Thanks. Are you going to Yoongi hyung’s party?” He tries not to look too hopeful, biting the inside of his cheek. 

“I think I’ll stop by.”

“Cool.” Junhwe grabbed a towel, dabbing at his forehead, “Is Bobby hyung going?” He does his best not to betray any emotion, keeping his tone and inflection steady. 

“No.” Donghyuk sighs, lips tugging down., “He’s going to see his family this weekend. Are you going to the party?”

“I think I’ll stop by.” He repeats, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from grinning too much. 

\-----

    Together, they wade through the crowds to Yoongi’s apartment, shuffling inside with a heavy sigh. He recognizes a few of his teammates doing keg stands and pouring each other shots but brushes past them easily.  The party’s in full swing as they walk up to the apartment complex. “I bet Yoongi hyung’s neighbors hate him.” 

Donghyuk nods, leading them towards the empty ping-pong table operating as a makeshift bar. 

He grabbed some Solo cups, mixing together equal parts whiskey and Coca Cola. He poured the rest of Coke into his own cup, turning to Donghyuk with a smile. “Here.”

Donghyuk smiles back, sipping silently.  

He spots the abandoned balcony, grabbing Donghyuk’s hand, they push past writhing, dancing bodies and step into the cool air.  “Finally. Thought I was going to overheat in there.”

“Oh, you’re fine.” The smaller male teases, humming softly as he took another gulp of the cocktail. “How’d you know I like Coke and whiskey?”

Junhwe pulled back, looking away quickly before murmuring a quick response, “I, uh, didn’t. I like Coke and whiskey so I just made two.”  _ You said you liked Coke and whiskey last time. When we were together, before you fell asleep, you said it was your favorite.  _

“Oh.” He tilts his head back, pouring the rest of the drink down his throat with a grin. “I’m going to get some more--”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll get it. I’m out too.” Junhwe flashed him his empty cup before he steps back into the apartment, navigating through the mass of students. 

He makes his way to the “bar” again, smiling at some of his classmates as he reaches for a bottle of cheap whiskey. He contemplated splashing some of the stuff in his own cup but decides against it. ( _ Because he knows if he gets drunk, he’s going to confess everything. And even with the high of tonight’s game and his amazing grades this week, he doesn’t want to set himself up for heartbreak. He’s not sure he can get over it this time _ ). 

\-----

The party begins to die down a little after 3am; there are students and athletes passed out on the living room floor, curled up in a mess of red Solo cups and empty beer bottles. Junhwe tosses their own empty cups into the bathroom trashcan, dumping their half eaten pizza crusts away before glancing at Donghyuk snuggled into the patio furniture. 

He shakes his head fondly, bending down to brush away his hair before turning around briefly to see Yoongi walk out of his bedroom, sigh, and then walk back in. He grins sheepishly, glancing at the smaller male before maneuvering Donghyuk to piggyback him. Junhwe grips his thighs, easily lifting him up as he quietly makes his way out of the apartment. 

Silently, the two make their way off the campus apartments and towards the campus dorm rooms; he lifts his head when he feels the smaller male stir against him. 

“June! June! June!” 

His breathing hitches, freezing momentarily on the sidewalk. 

    “ **_Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima_ ** .” Donghyuk is singing now, voice echoing in the streets. “ **_Cause you should be my lady~_ ** ” He feels the other male press closer against his back, rubbing his cheek against the material of his old sweater. “Junhwe! I like you. You know that? You’re a good friend.” He mumbles. “I really like you.” He’s rambling now. “I’m tired.”

    His heart is thundering, breathing short as he peeks over his shoulder to see Donghyuk asleep again, mumbling incoherently against his back. Junhwe smiles to himself, shifting the other male again to lie more comfortably against his back before continuing down their path. 

\-----

Slowly unlocking the dorm to his dorm, he shuffled past the threshold before gently moving to place Donghyuk on his bed. Junhwe grabbed the bottom of the other’s sneakers, loosening the laces before pulling them off. He placed them on the floor, standing up from the bed to change out of his jeans and sweatshirt. Grabbing a pair of old sweatpants and a worn T-shirt from the closet, he changed quickly; closing the door with a soft click, he looked over at Donghyuk snuggled into his bed, grabbing the sheets to tuck the smaller male in.

    Junhwe shifts to leave, prepared to put together a makeshift bed on his floor when a warm hand wraps around his arm; he glanced down at the limb, letting himself get pulled into a pool of warmth. 

    He holds his breath as Donghyuk nuzzles into his chest, warm hands gripping the front of his shirt. Keeping his voice soft and low, he whispers, “Donghyuk? Are you sleeping?” 

Donghyuk hums, the sound vibrating through his chest. “Junhwe… Do you like me?” 

His breath hitches, heart hammering; he briefly wonders if Donghyuk can hear it. 

“Am I your friend?” He tries again.

“Of course.” He breathlessly whisper back, glancing down at him softly. 

Donghyuk smiles sleepily, “Good.” The other male lifts his head, eyes drowsily staring up at him. “Your hair looks nice.” He whispers again, inching closer before he realizes they’re kissing.  

Lifting one hand, he hovers above Donghyuk’s head, tempted to run it through dark locks and pull him closer but he doesn’t.  _ Because this is wrong. Because Donghyuk’s drunk and he doesn’t know what’s going on. Because Donghyuk has Bobby and he has a chance to be genuinely happy and Junhwe has no idea why he’s ruining that. Because Junhwe is fucked up and always will be fucked up and Donghyuk deserves someone better than him. _

So he pushes him away, whispering softly, “Not tonight. Not like this.” He tucks Donghyuk under his arm, bringing him closer before quietly beginning to sing, “ **_Thought I couldn't live a day, an hour without you. But I just live in this world while missing for you._ ** ” 

When the smaller male begins to breath steadily, fast asleep, Junhwe pulls away to stare down at soft cheeks. “Sometimes, I wish you would remember me, you know. But then I remember how fucked up I am and I wish you won’t.” He sighed silently. “Just stay like this. By my side as my friend, again.” 

\-----

He gets up early, throwing his legs over the side of his bed, arms outstretched as he stifles a quiet yawn; he glanced over his shoulder, grinning warmly as he sees Donghyuk buried in heaps of covers and pillows. 

Padding gently, he grabbed a jacket off the hook behind the door, stuffing his wallet and keys into his pockets before silently walking out of the dorm. 

Junhwe pulled up his hood, brushing his hair down to avoid awkward eye contact as he jogged into the campus cafe. He bounced on his feet, waiting for the long line of hungover students to hurry up; he nods politely at the person behind the register, glancing at the array of muffins and bagels and whatever else people eat breakfast. 

“Just two plain bagels and, uh, two medium peppermint mochas.” He keeps his voice steady, trying his best not to flush as he orders. It’s weird not having Donghyuk take his order. 

\-----

**[I Wish I Could Forget Too]**

He’s gotten used to occupying the seat beside the other student, passing small notes in between lecture slides when the professor has his back turned to the class. He draws on the sides of Donghyuk’s notebook, initiating quick games of tic-tac-toe to quell his boredom.

Junhwe looks up in relief when the professor stops scribbling on the board with a broken piece of chalk, finally dismissing their class for the day; he glanced over at Donghyuk struggling to quickly finish taking notes before Professor Son swiped away at the board. “Hey, wanna grab lunch?”

He wears a tense smile, looking up shyly. “S-sure.” 

“Cool.” 

\-----

Finding an empty table in the back of the dining hall, they set their trays down, facing across each other with shy smiles. He runs a hand through his blonde hair, clearing his throat softly before looking up at Donghyuk. “So, how’s the showcase--”

“We should forget what happened--”

He tilts his head in confusion, staring back at the other male’s similar expression. Shaking his head, he clears his thoughts before speaking up, “I’m sorry, what?” 

Donghyuk takes a deep breath, fiddling with his tray as he looks up at him. “I just… I feel like we need to talk about what happened after the party on Friday.”

_ Oh.  _ “Okay…” He continues to stare at him, studying the other’s face for any indication that he might’ve heard him that night.  

“It was a drunken mistake and I think it’s best to forget anything ever happened.”

His world crashes; it’s not fair that Donghyuk has no idea, no semblance, of what’s he doing. He gets to live his life without this heavy memory. 

Schooling his expressions, he nods heavily, “Okay. Fine. Let’s forget about it.” He glances over at him one last time before turning back to his lunch. . 

“Uhm, okay. Alright. Great.”

_ Yeah, great. _

\-----

    They’re sitting in one of the study rooms in the back of the library; they sit across each other, awkward silence between them as they look over their notes and mindlessly flip through textbooks. 

“Ahem.” 

Pulling away from his notebook, he glanced up to see Bobby casting a long shadow over them; he tightened his grip around his pencil, turning back to stare mindlessly at his calculus worksheet. 

“Hyung! You’re back!”

“Yeah, got back last night. I saw you guys working and thought I’d bring a little pick me up. I got some cookies from the cafe.” 

“Thanks, hyung!” 

“I got snickerdoodles! Because let’s face it, everyone loves snickerdoodles.” 

“Donghyuk’s allergic to cinnamon.” He continues to scribble notes on his paper, not bothering to look up. 

“Oh, really? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, hyung! You couldn’t have known.”

_     I knew.  _ He wants to say but he keeps quiet. 

    “You guys should eat them. Otherwise, they’d be such a waste.”

“I don’t like snickerdoodles.”  _ Stopped liking them after you told me you couldn’t eat them.  _

“Junhwe.” Donghyuk chastises quietly.  

He pulls away from his notebook, expressionless as he shrugs. “What? I don’t!”

“Uh, it’s fine, Dong. I can eat them.” Bobby places a hand on his back to placate him. ( _ He glares at the hand _ ). “So, what are you guys working on?” 

“I’m helping Junhwe with his calculus. Apparently, he needs a 2.9 GPA to play basketball.”

“But I thought you had a 3.6 GPA?” Bobby looks at him weirdly, “Don’t you have one of the highest GPAs on the team?”

He grunts nonverbally, turning back to his paper. 

Bobby doesn’t let up, “Dude, why do you need Donghyuk to tutor you? You’re like one of the smartest kids on our team.” 

He shifts, dumping his books in his bag, “I have to go. I’ll see you later.” He doesn’t look back, shuffling quickly out of the library.  

\-----

[Flashback] 

“Yoongi hyung!” 

The team captain turned around, tucking a spare basketball under his arm as their teammates began scurrying into the locker room. “Yeah, Junhwe?” He reached for the towel around his neck, dabbing at his temples to wipe away the sweat. 

“I was wondering if you knew anyone who’s really good at math.” He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. 

“Math? Why? I thought you had good grades. I mean, everyone knows you don’t have to worry about the 2.9 GPA rule.”

He glanced down at his worn sneakers, peeking up through the fringe of blonde hair, “It’s for my other scholarship. I have to maintain at least a 3.5.”

“Oh, the state scholarship?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess I could ask around.”

“Thanks, hyung.” He grins widely, pausing briefly, “Could you not tell them why. Just tell them it’s for the sports scholarship.”

Yoongi wears a look of soft understanding, nodding quietly before roughly telling him to go shower before all the hot water was used. 

\-----

**[I Couldn’t Let You Go]**

Leaning against the hallway wall, he peers into the dance studio; there’s a flurry of movements and loud music booming from the speakers as everyone dances wildly. He spots Donghyuk in the corner with some other dancers, talking and laughing easily. 

“Can I help you?”

He jumps, spinning around to see an amused senior looking at him; he flushes, looking down at his feet. “I, uh, was just here to see if D-Donghyuk was here.”

The other student grins, “He’s here. I can go get him for you.” 

Junhwe nods shyly, refusing to look up from the very interesting tile beneath his worn sneakers.

“Uh, you came to see me?”

The basketball player looks up quickly, eyes wide before pushing away from the hallway wall. He brings a fist up to his lips, coughing awkwardly as he nods, “Y-yeah. I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Okay… What about?” 

“About yesterday.” He waits for a second, checking Donghyuk’s reaction before continuing. “I don’t know what Bobby hyung told you but the basketball team wasn’t the reason I was asking for help.”

“Okay.” The dancer watches him closely, head slightly tilted. “Then why were you asking for help?”

He freezes, looking down at his shoes before quietly murmuring, “I need to keep my GPA above a 3.5 to keep my scholarship.”

    “I thought athletes needed to practice a certain number of hours to keep their sports scholarship?”

    “I’m not here on a sports scholarship. I mean, I am. Partly but most of my tuition is paid for by a different scholarship. One that says I need to keep my GPA above a 3.5 if I want to continue going to school here.”

    “Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Junhwe shrugs, “So, are we good?”

    Donghyuk chuckles, “Yeah, we’re good.”

    He finally looks up with a grin, cheeks pinking when he sees the bright smile Donghyuk flashes his way.  

\-----

    Lying on the cold, hardwood floors of the dance studio, he obnoxiously belts out the lyrics to “Fantastic Baby,” grinning as he watches Donghyuk laugh loudly in the corner. He teasingly ignores the other’s protests to “shut up,” continuing to sing as loudly as he can before finally stopping as he feels his voice turn hoarse. Glancing up, he smiles softly at Donghyuk, studying his soft features under the harsh fluorescent lights. 

    “What are you doing for the holiday?” Donghyuk asks softly into the quiet air between them.  

    He shrugs, “Staying in my dorm, probably.” 

    “You’re not going home?”

    He freezes for a second, before schooling his expression.

    “You could come to my place if you don’t have anywhere to go. It’s nicer than the dorms.”

    He looks over to see Donghyuk softly smiling, moving to sit up as he stares at the dancer for a second. “Seriously?”

    “Yeah. I mean, if you’re cool with spending a week on a farm.” 

_ Is he really inviting Junhwe to spend the break with him?  _ “I’ve never been to a farm.”  _ Smooth. _

    “It’s not much. You’d also probably have to come my brother’s engagement party but yeah, if you want, you could come.”

_     And he shouldn’t go, right? Because this is Donghyuk. He’s only asking for heartbreak. He’s only asking for pain at this point. But he sees the soft look on the other’s face and he can’t help the next word that comes out of his mouth.  _ “Okay.” 

_ Fuck _ . 

**[If You Liked It Then You Should’ve Put a Ring On It]**

    “Of course, your friend can come! The more, the merrier! This engagement party is really just an excuse to see people. It’s not like the engagement was any sort of surprise to people.” Donghyuk’s brother wears a wide grin. “Is this the friend you’re bringing? Hi! I’m Donghyuk’s older brother.” 

He takes the offered hand, gently shaking it out of polite obligation. “I’m Junhwe, Koo Junhwe. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Well, the party is tomorrow at that, wait, where is that place again?” Jinwoo searches for someone, “Mino, where are we having our party again?” He calls out to a tall male watching the little aquarium installed in the cafe’s interior. 

“He’s not very good at directions.” Donghyuk whispers loudly to him; he grins, trying his best to mask his laughter unlike the dancer who outright giggles ( _ fucking giggles _ ) in Jinwoo’s face.

“It’s at the Seoul Gardens, over by Hongdae.” The aforementioned Mino walks over with a lazy grin, hugging the older male tightly.  

“It’s beautiful! Mino’s uncle owns the place and that’s where he told me he loved me for the first time.”

“That’s not true. Mino hyung’s been saying he loves you way before you even started dating.” Donghyuk refutes, turning to him in a dramatic fashion, “Mino hyung was basically Jinwoo hyung’s stalker.” He yelps when Mino pinches him. “Hyung! Are you just going to let your fiance abuse your baby brother like that?”

Jinwoo looks like he contemplates the dilemma for a quick second before shrugging, “Well, soon he’s going to be your brother too so yes. I will let him.”

Donghyuk makes a noise of indignant disapproval before using him as a shield from Mino’s oncoming attacks. 

He watches the group’s interactions with a soft look, grinning widely at how at ease everyone seems, comfortable noise erupting as they joked and teased each other incessantly. 

\-----

He internally whistles at the extravagance of Seoul Gardens; it’s a beautiful space with glass panes that let lots of natural light in and gold accents that highlight all the flowers. “What is it exactly that your brother does?” He awkwardly accepts the glass of champagne from the waiter’s silver platter.  

“He’s a graduate student at Seoul University, getting his masters in political science.” Donghyuk grins teasingly. “But his fiance is a rapper. He’s released a couple of songs. His family is also really loaded.”

He nods with a tense tug of his shirt collar, looking around awkwardly as different people walk up to Donghyuk.

The dancer smoothly introduces everyone but he refuses to leave Donghyuk’s side; too awkward to confront anyone on his own as they weave through the party. Donghyuk wears a warm smile while talking to everyone, listening intently and quipping at all the right moments. He draws everyone in like moths to a flame. 

_ Does that make him Icarus? _

\-----

“Anyway, I’m six years old, stuck in a minivan in New York City on a summer day. My family didn’t even notice I was gone for like thirty minutes.” 

“I feel like every time you tell that story, you’re in the car longer and longer.” JInwoo refutes, the audience chuckling softly at the two brothers. 

    “You weren’t even there! You all abandoned me!” Donghyuk sighs loudly, placing a hand on his forehead as he pretends to faint against his shoulder. “A young child abandoned, forced to make it on his own. Cut down in my prime--”

    “Six years old was your prime? Man, your life must have been downhill from then.” He interrupts, grin wide as he looks down at his shoulder to see Donghyuk peek up at him with a playful glare. 

    He slaps his bicep before turning back to the crowd. “My point was I was traumatized at such a young age.”

    “Is this going to be one of those moments I’ll have to talk to the psychiatrist about when they ask me if there were any signs?” He wonders out loud, lips tugging into a smile before reaching over to gently pinch Donghyuk’s side. The dancer does his best to fight the smile on his face.  _ He fails _ .

    “Alright, alright. I think it’s time for a toast, everyone.” Mino  interrupts them, arm raised with a champagne flute. “As most people know I’ve been in love with Jinwoo hyung since high school. When the yearbook asked me what my ambition was, I told them it was to marry Jinwoo hyung,” there’s a mix of cooing and soft laughter. “I was a young kid with no other real plans or goals but I knew that, that he was the one. And lots of people told me I was dumb and naive, that there would be someone better but I knew. I knew that every moment before him was empty. Everything I had done, everything I had worked for, was meaningless before I had met him.” Mino glances at the other male, “And now, everything I do, everything I work for is all for you.” 

    Everyone raises their glasses to toast the happy couple as a groomsman pops open another bottle of champagne. 

    Junhwe holds his own bubbly glass, watching Jinwoo and Mino share a soft look before he peeks at Donghyuk; he’s smiling at the betrothed couple, eyes lit up with adoration. He must feel the eyes on him because he looks up, smile warm and soft. They lock eyes for a brief second before he quickly turns away, too wary of the blood rushing to his cheeks. He sneaks a look back to see Donghyuk wrapped up in another round of champagne. 

\-----

    Donghyuk is rallied into an impromptu game of pong with the rest of the wedding party; he leans against a stone wall, watching the antics with a lazy grin, taking little sips of what’s probably a really expensive scotch. He barely registers a figure shifting to stand beside him, too engrossed in watching Donghyuk drunkenly aim for a cup on the opposite end of the table.

    “Junhwe…”

    He looks up in quiet surprise, turning to his left to see Jinwoo watching the group as well. He bites his lip before turning back to the group with a shrug. 

    “You know, Donghyuk used to have a bestfriend named Junhwe.”

    The athlete freezes; this time, he turns his entire body to look at Jinwoo. 

    The graduate student wears a soft smile, glancing over at him. “He doesn’t really remember him all that well. But it has been about ten years.” Jinwoo takes a small sip of his wine. “I remember he used to talk about Junhwe all day when he was young.” He wears a fond grin, ducking his head to stare at the deep red of his drink. “But after we moved, it was hard. Especially for a little kid who didn’t really understand what was going on.” He looked up, glancing at Junhwe. “Thanks for coming to our engagement party, Junhwe.”

    It’s at that moment that Mino waltzes by, grabbing Jinwoo’s hand and pulling him into a warm embrace.

    He watches them with a look of confused surprise before looking away with flushed cheeks.

\-----

**[Come Show Me Your True Colors]**

“The sun’s not even out.” Junhwe whines, squinting his eyes they stand in the middle of the apartment complex’s parking lot, tossing their luggage into the trunk of a polished SUV.  

“We have to leave early if we want to beat the traffic.”

“What traffic? We’re the only people awake!” He rolls his head back in annoyance, eyes catching on Jinwoo and Mino exiting the building with arms full of food and coffee.  

“I told you we’d be leaving early.” Donghyuk sticks out his tongue, burrowing inside his sweater. 

“I didn’t think you meant before the sun. Also, how are you not dead after last night? I saw how much you drank.” He stared at the lightening sky. 

Donghyuk smiles sheepishly, raising his shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. 

“I just don’t see how everyone is fine after last night-- Is that my sweater?” Junhwe leans forward to examine the sweater.  _ It’s a sweater he had forgotten about; he briefly remembers lending it to the dancer after his dance practice, throwing the garment at him after he had accidentally spilled water all over the front of Donghyuk’s shirt.  _

Donghyuk glances down the front, shrugging, “I guess so. Huh, I wonder how this got in my closet.” 

He pauses, looking up when the car honks; he briefly locks eyes with Jinwoo before turning away to follow Donghyuk to the car. 

\-----

    He stumbles out of the car as they pull up on a dirt driveway; Donghyuk and Jinwoo launch themselves at the three adults while Junhwe and Mino grab the bags from the trunk. Donghyuk moves to help them as soon as he’s done with his rounds of hugs.

“Me and Junhwe call the attic!”

“What? No fair!” Mino whines behind them, struggling to bring in three bags at once.

“I’m sorry, you want to be in the attic?” He looks at Donghyuk with a raised brow, lips pursed in a look of mock judgement. 

“It’s the best room. Come on.” He bounds down the hallway, bag in tow before standing in front of some sort of makeshift ladder/staircase.

“Is this even safe?” His voice echoes as he carefully follows behind.

“Of course it is! My grandpa built this with his own two hands.” Donghyuk turns around with an outstretched arm, helping him hoist over the last step and into the attic room. 

“I’m not sure that’s as reassuring as you think it is.” He dusts himself off, looking up to see an angled bedroom covered in old posters of Harry Potter and Big Band pasted on the walls. Junhwe studies the subtle peeling of the wallpapered ceiling before staring at the large window, sunlight flooding the bedroom. 

“Trust me, tonight, when the stars are out, you’ll see why it’s the best room.”

He glances over at Donghyuk, lips tugged into a small grin. “Okay.”

“Hey, grandma says it’s time for lunch.” Mino peeks through the hole in the floor, grinning widely before he immediately darts back down.

“Come on, if we’re not there in five minutes, Mino hyung’s going to eat all the meat.” 

\-----

“You have a very nice family.”

Donghyuk’s voice is shy and soft. “Thanks.” 

“So, you grew up here?” His back is pressed against the wooden floor of the gazebo, using his arm as a pillow.  

“Pretty much. We moved here after my dad passed away.” 

He pulls his arm away, looking up to stare at Donghyuk; the dancer looks down at his hands, shrugging softly. _ ‘But after we moved, it was hard. Especially for a little kid who didn’t really understand what was going on,’ echoes in his mind.  _

“I had just turned eight. Jinwoo hyung was thirteen so it was harder for him. Been here ever since.”

He bites his lip, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

There’s a humorless chuckle. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” 

Junhwe stared at Donghyuk for a long second, studying the little expressions on his face. “Does this mean that Mino hyung and Jungkook are from here?”

Donghyuk nods, smile on his lips. “Yeah. Jungkook lives across the road from us. The one with all the orange trees. We used to walk to the bus stop together. That’s how we all got to know each other. Mino hyung’s family mostly lives in Seoul but they used to spend their summers here on his grandparents’ farm. That’s when he met Jinwoo hyung and begged his parents to let him live here.”

“And you guys all went to school together?”

“Yeah. There’s an elementary school in town but the middle school and high school are merged into one school so all of us would ride the bus together.” 

“That’s cool that all of you have known each other for so long.”  _ To be honest, he’s a little jealous _ . 

He watches Donghyuk look over at Jinwoo and Mino playing in the yard, a fond smile gracing his lips; Junhwe moved to rest his head in the other’s lap, whining softly before closing his eyes when the dancer relents. 

He breathes in and out in slow breaths, eyes fluttering open for a second when he feels a warm hand run through his blonde hair; his breathing hitches for a second before he relaxes again, eyes closed.  

“Alright, alright!” Junhwe vaguely registers a voice calling out, words muffled in the distance.

“Hey. We gotta go help with dinner.” Donghyuk softly shakes him awake, helping him sit up before dragging him back inside the house. 

\-----

    “All boys should know how to cook!” Donghyuk’s grandmother speaks loudly, ushering the boys into a corner of the kitchen to wash and peel potatoes.  

They crouch in front of the old faucet, running lukewarm water over the potatoes; he sneaks a glance, placing his hands in the water before splashing it at Donghyuk. The dancer looks up with a glare, eyes narrowed. He looks away and does his best to look innocent. 

He shouts when cold water is splashed, immediately lowering his head when Grandma turns to glare at them with a suspicious stare. 

They take turns splashing water at each other whenever Grandma has turned her back to them. 

“Boys!”

They halt, looking up to see Grandma standing over them with her hands on her hips; he flashes a charming grin before they’re ordered out of the kitchen. 

“Can’t trust anyone in this household. Everyone’s too blinded by love to work.”

They turn to stare at each other, looking away quickly with red cheeks before darting down opposite ends of the hallway. 

“Gotta water the cat!”

“I think my clothes are on fire!” 

\-----

He leans against his arms, sitting on the mattress as he looks up at the big window; stars twinkling brightly against the dark contrast of the night sky. 

“Awesome, right?” 

He looks up to see Donghyuk grinning, dressed in a pair of old themed pajama pants and a worn out T-shirt. Nodding slowly, he watches Donghyuk fall back on the bed. “Yeah, awesome.” 

“Sorry, there’s only one mattress. Me and Jinwoo hyung used to share this room before he left for college but after that, I didn’t really see a need for two mattresses.”

He shakes his head with a teasing smile, leaning back on the soft bed. “You guys used to share this hazard of a room?”

“Shut up.” Donghyuk playfully shoves away. “My grandparents added the room after we all realized a two bedroom house wasn’t going to be big enough for three adults and two kids. It’s also why Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung are stuck sleeping in the living room while we get the  _ best  _ room.” 

He laughs quietly at that, turning back to stare out the window. “It is a pretty cool room.”

“Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He looks down with a soft smile, fondly glancing at Donghyuk’s grinning form. 

\-----

    Walking out of the bathroom after washing his hands of the dirt from this morning’s early harvest, he passes the living room; Donghyuk’s grandfather sits in front of the television with a faraway look. He watches him for a brief second before turning into the kitchen and grabbing a few things from the counter.

Junhwe seats himself beside the older man, offering him an apple slice. 

“W-who are you?” He stammers and he looks like he’s struggling to remember.  

“I’m Junhwe, sir. I’m a friend of your grandson’s.”

“G-grandson? No, I’m a young man. I don’t have a grandson.”

Junhwe nods with a soft smile before handing him another apple slice. “Well, then I’m your friend, sir.”

The elder beams at that, gummy smile on display. “Y-yes. We are good friends.”

“We are. We are very good friends, sir.”

He reaches behind the older man for his container of medication, helping him count out the dosage before fetching a glass of water for him. Junhwe’s grin never falters as they sit together watching dancing idols flash across the screen. 

\-----

Junhwe leans against Donghyuk’s knee, using him as a makeshift pillow as warm breezes filter in and out of the backyard gazebo. Warm fingers brush through his blonde hair, lulling him quietly. “Hey, Donghyuk?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you invite me here?” He asks curiously, eyes still closed.

He hears a deep sigh.

“You said you were just going to stay at the dorms. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” 

He thinks about that for a long moment. “Thanks. For inviting me. I… I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Donghyuk continues to soothingly run his fingers through his hair. “No problem.”

\-----

“I just need a few things from the market. Mino and Jinwoo are spending at the night at the Song’s so we don’t need too much for tonight’s dinner.”

Donghyuk looks over the piece of paper, flashing the piece of paper to him as well. “Okay, anything else?”

“Don’t spend all the money on candy.”

“Oh, my god, mom, that was one time. Jungkook and I already apologized like a million times.”

She laughs lightly, pinching her son’s cheek before winking subtly at Junhwe’s laughing form.  

“Mom. You’re embarrassing me.”

“Part of the job. Wait until you have kids.” She pats both boys on the shoulder before pushing them out of the house. 

“So…” He stared ahead at the dirt road, the breeze rustling through the fields. “You think you’ll move out here when you graduate?”

The dancer shrugs sheepishly, “Maybe. I’m not sure how many towns need anthropologists.” He chuckles softly. “I’ve thought about becoming a teacher at the local elementary school. I like kids and it would be fun to teach them social studies.” 

    Junhwe hums with a warm smile. 

    “What about you? Do you want to live in Seoul?”

    He looked over at Donghyuk before shrugging. “I’ve thought about it. But it’s so competitive and the cost of living is really high.” 

    “That’s true. But--”

_     Honk! Honk! _

__ There are two bright headlights coming their way; he holds his breath, eyes shut, as he grabs Donghyuk pulling him into his chest, shielding him away from the car. His heart thunders loudly as he tightens his hold around the smaller male.  _ This is it. This is how I die.  _

“Sorry!” 

He opened his eyes, looking up to see a young student driver behind the wheel, basically on the verge of tears. Slowly, he pulled away, walking over to the car to calm her down. 

“Hey, you okay?” Junhwe looked over at Donghyuk, studying him for any injury. 

The dancer slowly nods, eyes still wide.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah--”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“But the groceries--”

“I can get those myself. Let’s just get you home.” He moved to bring their hands together, lacing their fingers before turning to walk back to the house.

\-----

As the night pours through the window, they lie in a pile of duvets and sheets, huddled into the mattress; Junhwe does his best to keep his heart steady, hyper-aware of the small distance between him and Donghyuk.

“Hey, Junhwe?” 

“Yeah?” He whispers quietly, voice breathless in the freezing temperatures of the bedroom. 

“Thanks for saving me today.”

He grins, “It’s really not a big deal.”

“Still… Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.”

In the dark air of the room, they breathe quietly, perfectly in sync.  _ Like always _ .  

    “Why didn’t you go home for break?”

He freezes, eyes flitting over to where the lump that is Donghyuk lies. He takes a deep breath. “I don’t really like my home.” Another deep breath. “It’s too loud and no one really notices me.”

“That can’t be true.” Donghyuk sounds like he doesn’t believe him. “You’re Koo Junhwe, basketball extraordinaire.” There’s hint of teasing in his voice.

He laughs breathlessly. “I just don’t like going home. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong anywhere.”  _ Maybe because I feel like I belong here. With you.  _

“Oh.” There’s a pause. “Well, I think you belong.” 

His breathing hitches and he stares in the dark at Donghyuk.  _ This is getting dangerous. _ “No one’s ever told me that.”

“Well, it’s true, you know?”

Junhwe swallows hard, nodding carefully, slowly. “Thanks.” He breathes softly. “Are you cold?”

Donghyuk looks up with pink cheeks, burrowed in sheets. “No.”

“You’re a bad liar.” He mocks before wrapping an arm around him, bringing him close like before; it feels like they’re in the fields again, the car racing at them. His heart races but for a different reason this time. _ This is it. This is how I fall again. _

\-----

**[Birthdays Don’t Mean Anything Without You]**

“You should’ve told us it was your birthday, dear!” Mrs. Kim exclaims, “we could’ve baked a cake or I could’ve made seaweed soup this morning.” 

“It’s really not a big deal--” Junhwe does his best to argue, already embarrassed by the attention they lavish on him.

“Not a big deal he says!” Donghyuk’s grandmother grumbles to herself, “If Mino hadn’t seen your birthday on your ID, we would’ve let such a happy day pass us by!” She turns to Junhwe with a wide grin, wiping her hands on the front of her pink apron. 

“It’s not--”

“Don’t try to fight her on this, man.” Mino pats his shoulder, flashing him a sympathetic grin.  

“What are you still doing here? I thought I told you to go down to the market and grab something for dessert and some birthday candles.” 

Mino scurries out of the house at that, too afraid to bear another scolding from the women of the household. 

“Come on, it’s best to just stay out of their way.” Donghyuk reaches out slowly, grabbing his hand to tug him out of the kitchen. He stares down at their joined hands, heart pounding loudly in his ribcage.  

\-----

They waltz into the attic bedroom, hands lingering slightly before they pull away completely. 

Donghyuk lies on the bed, looking up at him with wide eyes and a small pout. “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

Junhwe lifts his shoulders in a half-hearted shrug, surveying the bookcases and the trinkets that lined them. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal.” He does his best to sound nonchalant.

“Of course, it’s a big deal. It’s your birthday. Birthdays are always a big deal. It’s a happy day.”

“Why? I mean, it’s not anything special.” He flashes a look over his shoulder at the dancer; Donghyuk’s shirt has ridden up slightly to reveal tan skin. He looks away quickly, staring back at the young adult novels on the shelves. 

“Of course it is. It’s the day you were born, that automatically makes it a happy day. I bet a lot of people are happy you were born. Your parents. Your friends. Your teammates.” There’s a pause. “Me. I’m happy you were born.”

This makes him turn around, looking at Donghyuk with wide eyes. He’s a little hopeful but doesn’t say anything. All the blood rushing in his ears sounds like crashing waves on the beach; his heart pounding in his chest like the steady beat of a drum.

“Otherwise, who would order really embarrassing drinks at the cafe?”

Junhwe rolls his eyes, grabbing an action figure off the shelf to throw at Donghyuk; his smile falters for a brief second. 

\-----

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Junhwe! Happy birthday to you!” 

The room is loud with applause and cheers, the cork of a sparkling cider bottle popping somewhere in the background.  

“You have to make a wish!” Jinwoo stops Junhwe from blowing out the pastel candles on top of the frosted cake. 

He smiles, pausing for a second.  _ I wish that Donghyuk will be happy _ . He leans to blow out the candles, looking up when he feels fingers on his chin and blue frosting on Donghyuk’s hand. He mockingly glares before pressing frosting on the dancer’s cheek. 

“Alright, alright. Enough fooling around. Let’s cut the cake.” Mrs. Kim interrupts them before they can finish destroying the cake in their pursuit for revenge. 

\-----

“I never want to see another cake again.” Donghyuk whines earnestly, clutching onto his abdomen in mock pain.  

“That’s what you get for eating a  _ third _ piece of cake.” He threw his sweater to the side, shaking his head fondly at the smaller male.  

“But it was so good.” 

He laughs quietly, plopping down into the desk chair, glancing at the row of framed photos on the furniture. He stares at one of a young Donghyuk in some lake, wearing water wings as Jinwoo holds him up with a proud, brotherly grin. “You know, you were pretty cute as a kid.”

“Pretty cute? I was fucking adorable.” Donghyuk jokingly narrows his eyes at him. “And what’s that supposed to mean? What? I’m not cute now? I’ll have you know I am still cute. I am a delight!” 

Junhwe laughs, rolling his eyes in playful exasperation before glancing at the photos again. “Is that you and Jungkook?” He holds up a poorly made macaroni picture frame, two kids hanging from a tire swing in the frame. 

    Donghyuk gets off the bed with a small nod. “Yeah, that’s the year my grandpa put in the swing in the front yard. We used to spend hours on that thing.” He reaches for the picture, staring at it before placing back in it’s original place on the desk. “Most of these pictures are of me and Jungkook.” Quiet sigh. “I don’t really have a lot of pictures from before the move.” Donghyuk then makes a move for a small black frame on the corner of the desk. “Except this one.” He hands it to him with a wide grin. “That was a few months before we moved out here.”

Junhwe carefully grabs the photo, looking down at the simple black frame. He looks down to see two grinning kids staring back at him, arm slung around each other with their bright red straps, standing in front of an old brick building. He knows this photo, could draw it from memory. It’s the same photo that he carries around because he’s a coward. “It’s a nice photo.” 

“Thanks.”

\-----

**[Is It Too Late to Say Sorry?]**

When Donghyuk has fallen asleep, he carefully pulls away from the figure, staring at his glowing form under the moonlight. He memorizes the way his dark lashes rest against his cheek, his pinks slightly parted as he breathes slowly and steadily. 

He whispers silently, careful not to disturb the other male from his slumber. “I’m a coward, you know. Remember when we were six and you dared me to jump off the swings?” He laughs breathlessly. “I was a coward then. I’m a coward now.” Junhwe takes a deep breath. “I’m scared. I’m scared you’ll never remember me. I’m scared that I’m holding onto something that doesn’t exist anymore. I’m scared that Jinhwan hyung is right. That I built this up in my head. That it’s  _ you  _ who’ll be disappointed. That you’ll realize that I’m a fuck up and you’ll leave me. I don’t know if I can go through that again.” He pauses, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against the other’s forehead. “I’m sorry.”

\-----

He’s a coward. 

He boards the first train back to Seoul and tries not to look back.  _ He fails _ . 

\-----

_ donghyukkie _

_ Hey. heard you had to go back to seoul 10:19am _

_ is everything okay? 10:20am _

_ just text me when you’re back in the dorm, ok? 11:42am _

_ I’m sorr _ ← 

_ something came up← _

He struggles to write a decent text back, erasing and retyping over and over before throwing his phone on his desk. Junhwe buries his head in his hands, lying back on his dorm mattress with a long sigh. 

It’s been five days, nineteen hours, and twelve minutes since he made his decision to leave but who’s counting?

Junhwe blindly reaches over to the side, grabbing his phone again before unlocking it to write a quick message. 

_ Jinhwan hyung _

_ Can we meet up? 12:01am _

_ At fucking midnight?12:06am _

_ I s2g if this is a booty call 12:08am _

_ you can fuck off 12:09am _

_ It’s not. I swear. 12:10am _

_ I just want to ask you about something. 12:11am _

_ ugh, fine. 12:17am _

_ Starbucks, ten minutes 12:18am _

\-----

He huddles into his jacket, breath fogging in the chilly Seoul air. Junhwe stuffed his hands in his pockets, sitting on the park bench just outside of the 24-hour Starbucks as he waited for Jinhwan to arrive. 

“Why are you sitting out here in the cold?” 

Looking up he saw Jinhwan towering over him ( _ a rare sight _ ) with hands in the pockets of his navy blue coat and a thick gray scarf wrapped around his neck. 

The older student sighed in exasperation as he looked over Junhwe wearing thin sweatpants and an old varsity jacket. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Together, they shuffled inside the quiet establishment, standing a few inches apart to create some distance between them. Grabbing two small hot chocolates, they seat themselves in the back of the cafe, claiming a booth to themselves. They sit together in silence, taking the occasional sip of their drink. 

“So…”

He looked over to see Jinhwan studying him curiously. 

“Why did you call me out at 12:30 on a Thursday night?” 

Junhwe looked down at the laminate table, drawing little patterns on the surface.

“Alright, I’m leaving--”

“Wait, wait! Don’t go.” He looked up pleadingly. 

Jinhwan sighed, sitting back down with a glare and crossed arms. “Alright, then. Talk.”

“I… I just wanted… See, the thing is… How’s Donghyuk?” That was a lot less graceful than he had hoped.

The older student rolled his eyes. “Of course, this is about Donghyuk. Why don’t you just ask him? You’re in history together.”

“I, uh, dropped out.” He rubbed his nape sheepishly, avoiding the other’s stare. 

There’s a slight cough, Jinhwan clearing his throat. “He’s fine, I guess. Hasn’t really said much since getting back from break.”

He nods tensely, looking back down at his almost empty cup. “I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” Jinhwan’s tone is bored and unamused.

“For everything. For being such a bad boyfriend. I should’ve treated you better.”

Long sigh. “Look, Junhwe, it’s not only your fault. We were both shitty boyfriends.”

Junhwe looks up at that to see Jinhwan with a weary look. 

“We were both immature and selfish. We shouldn’t have been together for as long as we were.” He takes a deep breath. “You know every time we broke up, I kinda hoped it would stick. I wished I didn’t cave in so easily and I wish you weren’t there were to save me when I did.” Jinhwan flashes him a small, genuine smile. “But I was weak and lonely so I’d call you to get back together and you’re too much of a good guy to say no.”

He ducked his head at that. “I’m not a good guy.”

Jinhwan laughs at that. “Okay, yeah, you had your shitty moments. But you were the one who helped me get out of my mom’s place. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would’ve stayed with her. I probably never would’ve gone to college. I’d be stuck in that run down house, just counting down the days until my mom’s deadbeat boyfriend killed me or something.”

Junhwe looks away; too used to Jinhwan’s nonchalant attitude in regards to his childhood. Glancing up, he looked at the other’s serene expression. “What did you mean when you said I had unrealistic expectations?”

He hangs his head down in exasperation, looking up with a long sigh. “Isn’t it obvious? No, I guess not.” Jinhwan props his head against the heel of his palm, staring at Junhwe for a long second. “Look, I don’t know everything but I do feel like I know you pretty well, Koo Junhwe. For most of our relationship, I was trying to live up to this image you had of someone, not me. I know you missed him. And I know you love him. Instead, of waiting around for someone else to come along and fill that gap or waiting for him to remember, maybe you should just tell him. Would save you a lot of heartbreak.” Jinhwan gets up, grabbing his empty cup. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

He doesn’t respond, staring down at his hands as he peeled away at the paper cup. 

\-----

But he’s a coward. 

\-----

**[Nod Your Head Yes But You Want to Say No]**

“Junhwe!”

He looked up from tying his shoe to see Bobby grinning softly at him. “Hey hyung.”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you. After practice.”

Junhwe glanced around the crowded locker room, suddenly aware of all the eyes and ears observing them. Nodding tersely, he grunted, “Yeah, sure.” 

\-----

The front of his shirt is soaked with sweat, his breathing hard as Yoongi finally calls for the end of practice; everyone gives exhausted cheers, jogging to the locker room to quickly claim a shower stall. 

Junhwe walked slowly, his leg muscles burning as he made his way across the basketball court. He stopped by the bench, grabbing his water bottle and a clean white towel to wipe down the sweat on his forehead. 

He didn’t even lift his head when another body sat next to him on the bench, too exhausted to look up. 

“Junhwe?”

He grunted, turning his head ever slightly to acknowledge Bobby sitting next to him. 

“Got a minute?”

He shrugs, groaning lowly at the soreness in his shoulders. 

“How you been, man?”

He doesn’t answer, staring down at the polished beneath his sneakers. 

“Well, anyways, I wanted to ask how you and Donghyuk are.”

Junhwe does look up at that, turning his head to stare at Bobby. “What do you mean?”

The older student chuckles breathlessly, almost humorlessly, “I don’t want to get involved in something that’s complicated. If you have something with Donghyuk, I don’t want to intrude or be a third wheel or something.”

Pursing his lips, he looked back down, glaring at the shiny reflection of light on the polished floors. “I don’t have anything with Donghyuk.”

“Really? Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”

Gritting his teeth, he lifted his head, levelling a glare at the other athlete. “I’m not trying to convince anyone. I’m merely stating a fact. I don’t have anything with him. Do whatever the hell you want.”

“Really? So, you don’t mind if I ask him out?”

His breath hitched, fists tightening before he took a silent breath. “Do whatever you want.” He stood up from the bench, not bothering to look back as he shuffled into the locker room, his heart pounding in his ears. 

In the empty locker room, he leans against the metal lockers, one hand fisted in the front of his shirt as he breathed hard, desperately trying to calm his thundering heartbeat. 

\-----

**[I Needed a Change]**

Throwing the basketball, he watched it swish through the hoop; he grabbed another ball, repeating his movements obsessively. 

“--Junhwe. Junhwe!”

Startled, he turned around to see Yoongi standing behind him with a basketball resting on his hip. “...Hey cap.”

“Dude, go home. You’ve been here for hours. Practice is over. The next game isn’t for another week. Take a break, man.”

Junhwe shakes his head, turning to make another shot through the basket. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

This time, Yoongi walked over and wrestled the ball from his hands. “I’m not saying this as your captain. I’m saying this as your friend. Go home.”

    He contemplated fighting the other male for the ball back before sighing softly. He didn’t make any move to leave, standing in the middle of the court, averting the basketball captain’s gaze. 

    There was another sigh, and a mutter of “Goddamnit, Jimin, why’d you make me care about people?” Before Yoongi cleared his throat, letting go of the basketball with a dull thud. “Want to talk about it?” 

    He didn’t reply, kicking his feet on the court floor. 

    “Come on, kid. You look like you need to talk and I need to eat.” Yoongi wrapped an arm around his shoulders, dragging him out of the gym. 

\-----

Sitting in the back of a McDonald’s with two happy meals sitting in front of them made Junhwe feel ridiculous. 

“Jimin and Taehyung like collecting the toys.” Yoongi muttered in mock annoyance, grabbing a handful of fries and dipping them in ketchup. “So, you gonna tell me what’s up? Or are we just going to sit here in silence? Honestly, I don’t mind the latter.”

He picked mindlessly at his burger, not answering. 

The older student sighed. “Does this have to do with that kid, Donghyuk?” 

No reply.

“I heard Bobby asked him out.”

Nothing.

“I like Donghyuk. He’s a good kid. Although, I could do without his friend, Jungkook. Just gets Tae all riled up.”

He smiled at that comment.

“Jimin says you don’t come by the music department anymore.”

Shrug. 

“Jimin says Donghyuk waits after practice for you.” 

He looks up, “No, he doesn’t.”

Yoongi shrugs, “Believe what you want.” He dips his fries in ketchup again. “But I think you’re in love with this kid. And you don’t want to admit it.”

He bites his lip, flesh caught between his teeth. 

“We’ve known each other a long time, Junhwe. And I don’t know all that much about Donghyuk. But I do know, you deserve to be happy. Even though, you don’t think you do.” 

Junhwe scoffs quietly, “I don’t think that. I know it.”

“Right because in every cliche romantic comedy, when someone says they don’t deserve love, it turns out to be true.” Yoongi gives him a pointed look; one that he mirrors. “Jimin likes romantic comedies. Don’t fucking judge, brat.” 

“Well, life isn’t a movie, hyung. Some people are meant to be loved. And some people aren’t.”

“And what? You think you aren’t? Why? Because of your childhood? Because that’s what they told you--”

“Because I’m a fuck up.” He harshly interrupts, glaring at his half-eaten burger. He lifts his gaze to look at Yoongi. “Because Donghyuk deserves someone who doesn’t have all these fucking issues. Because of everything you just said. Because I had shitty parents who told me I didn’t deserve to be loved. And you know what? I believe them. I fucking believe them.” He breaks down, slamming a fist on the table. 

Yoongi reaches out to pat him comfortingly, “You’re not a fuck up. I know. Because I was you. Because I was the same scared kid who thought he didn’t deserve to be loved.”

He scoffs, looking up with an unamused glare, “Then what changed?”

“I met Jimin. I took a chance.” 

He gives humourless laugh.

“Sometimes you need to take a chance.” Yoongi patted his shoulder comfortingly. “You’re a good kid. And if you ever need to talk… Don’t come to me. Jimin’s better at that stuff. Go to him.” 

This got an actual smile out of him. 

\-----

“What do you need, sweetheart?”

Junhwe looked at his reflection, glancing up at the hairstylist’s warm smile in the mirror. “I want to dye my hair back to black.” 

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? Blonde looks so good on you!” She cooed, already reaching for the chemicals. “Are you sure?” 

He shrugged sheepishly, “Yeah, I think I am.”

\-----

**[Ice Cream, You Scream]**

    “Slow down, buddy. We gotta get your shots and then we can get ice cream.” He grinned widely, reaching down to hoist the six year old up into a hug. Junhwe looked up with a wide smile, “You don’t mind, right, Sister Francesca?”

    “You spoil him, Junhwe. But he has been very good this week and received full marks on his spelling test.” The nun beams back. 

    “Seriously? That’s awesome, little man!” He high-fived Chanwoo, laughing at the kid’s pout at his nickname. “Okay, sorry, sorry. You’re not that little. Come on, let’s go.” The basketball player set him on the ground, grabbing his hand as they walked out of the brick building and towards the clinic down the street. 

\-----

    “It’s still sore.” Chanwoo whined, swinging their arms as they crossed the street; he pointed at the colorful dinosaur bandaid on his arm. “And he didn’t have Star Wars bandaids! I didn’t like that doctor.”

    He chuckled breathlessly, “I’m sorry I forgot to bring the band aids today. I’ll bring them them next time.”

    The child still pouted, eyes lighting up when he saw the ice cream shoppe come into view. He rushed towards the store, dragging Junhwe along. “Hyung! Come on!”

“Calm down, Chanwoo. They’re not going to run out of ice cream.” 

The six year old presses his face against the cold glass case of the ice cream parlor, completely awed by the different flavors. 

“You can pick one flavor, Chanwoo--”

“Junhwe!”

He looked over his shoulder, freezing when he saw Bobby walk over to him. 

“Hey, man. Feel like I never see you except for practice.” The athlete grins, clapping a hand on his back. 

He reeled back, nodding politely; just over Bobby’s shoulder, he could see Donghyuk wave awkwardly at him, smiling wearily at him. He looked back up at Bobby pointing at their table, inviting him to sit with them. 

It’s a weird moment where he understands what Bobby is saying but his brain doesn’t let it sink in; he nods to avoid any awkwardness, following the athlete with two cones of ice cream, Chanwoo tailing him with a whine. 

“So, what’s this little guy’s name?” Bobby grins at the kid, laughing lightly as he gets chocolate all over his chin. 

This snapped him out of his trance; he smiled fondly, reaching out to wipe away the mess on Chanwoo’s chin with a clean napkin. “This is Chanwoo, he’s my little brother.” 

“I’m six!” Chanwoo proudly announces, smiling to reveal a missing tooth. 

“Chanwoo, these are hyung’s friends. This is Bobby hyung and that’s Donghyuk hyung.”

The little kid is to focused on his ice cream to really acknowledge them. 

“I heard you dropped out of history, man.” Bobby looks over at him. “Donghyuk said you dropped after break.”

He awkwardly coughs into a fist, “Y-yeah. Was getting to be too much homework. And with basketball and everything, I figured it was best to drop.”

Continuing his awkward conversation with Bobby, he took small bites of his strawberry cheesecake ice cream, doing his best not to stare at Donghyuk.  

“I like you.” 

He looked over at Chanwoo’s chocolatey smile, grinning up at the dancer. He watched Donghyuk blush, patting his head with a soft grin. 

“Thanks, Chanwoo.” 

“You should date Junhwe hyung!”

Alright, he should stop this. “Well, I better take Chanwoo home--”

“I don’t want to go home.” Chocolate melted on his cheek as he whined loudly.  

He ran a hand through his hair out of frustration, face flushing as he tried to avoid the other two males’ stares, “Come on, Chanwoo. We gotta get you home.” Junhwe moved to easily lift him up from the chair, tucking him into his arms as the little boy whines. “Come on, it’s almost your bedtime and I’ve let you have too much sugar.” He waves awkwardly at both of them before getting the hell out of there.

\-----

“I like Donghyukkie!”

“Donghyuk hyung.” He corrects, watching as the little kid skipped on the pavement. 

“He’s pretty!”

He blushes, not responding. 

“I like his smile!”

Junhwe chuckled quietly, “Yeah, me too.” 

\-----

**[Take a Chance On Me]**

“Why are we hanging out with your ex-boyfriend again?”

“Because he’s my friend, Hanbin.” Jinhwan chastised, tossing a fry at him. 

“But he’s not my friend.” The other male complained, leveling a glare at him.

“And I won’t be your boyfriend if you keep whining.”

That shut him up real quick. He chuckled under his breath, glancing across the table to see the couple sharing a soft look; he honestly didn’t remember the last time Jinhwan had smiled so genuinely like that. 

“Alright, as much as I enjoy third-wheeling my ex-boyfriend and his current boyfriend, is there a reason you wanted us to hang out?”

Jinhwan shrugged, “Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

He sighed sheepishly, “Why wouldn’t I be alright? I’m great.”

“I can tell when you’re lying.”

“Dude, I can tell you’re lying and I just met you.” 

He flips off Hanbin. 

“Donghyuk broke up with Bobby.”

He froze, poking at his french fries. “Oh, uh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, I guess. It wasn’t a bad break-up. At least that’s what Donghyuk told Hanbin.”

Junhwe nodded slowly, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, then, me and Hanbin are going to go make out.”

“Wait, what?” His eyes darted between the two. 

“I just wanted to tell you that bit of information. I’m a very busy person. Let’s go.” Jinhwan stood up, grabbing Hanbin’s hand with a wide smile. “See you later.”

He gave a confused wave, watching them leave the dining hall with giddy smiles. 

\-----

Jogging onto the court, the team bursts through the colorful banner with the school’s insignia painted on it. Junhwe does his best to ignore the shrill screaming of their fans, moving to warm up for the final game of the season. 

Looking up, he catches Bobby waving at Donghyuk; he stares for a long second, locking eyes together.  _ It wasn’t a bad break-up. At least that’s what Donghyuk told Hanbin _ . Jinhwan’s voice of reason echoes in his head as he watches the dancer for another long moment, heart pounding before he turns away. 

_ Sometimes you need to take a chance.  _

\-----

The games goes by in a blur; clashing red and blue jerseys running up and down the court. In the corner of his eye, he sees the ticking seconds, the wildly impatient crowd as a Korea University player dribbles past him. 

Yoongi makes a quick steal, running down the court; he follows suit, pulling a few feet ahead. Almost like an out of experience, he watches the captain fake a pass before throwing the ball towards him. The orange mass bounds as he quickly launches down the court, using every muscle in his legs to jump. The ball hits the rim, dunking smoothly through the net as the buzzer goes off. 115-112. Victory. 

The crowd goes wild, stampeding the court as the team gets lost in the mass; some of his teammates are being lifted up in high spirits but he’s quick to dodge any sort of crazy ceremony. Junhwe looked up to see Yoongi and Jimin in a tight embrace before some of the players had dumped the water bucket over them, drenching them with a screech. 

He laughed, watching as the crowd began to dissipate, probably off to Yoongi’s apartment where Taehyung is undoubtedly throwing a victory party. Junhwe grinned, leaving a few people standing in the court before his eyes landed on Donghyuk kicking his feet absentmindedly on the floor. 

The dancer looked up finally, eyes locking. “T-that was a really good game.”

“Thanks.”  _ God, could I be more emotionally constipated? _

They stood in silence, sharing awkward looks between them.  

“A-are you going to the party?” 

He looked at Donghyuk, shrugging. “Probably not.”

“Oh.”

_ He probably thinks you hate him. Great, God, please just smite me.  _

“Well, I should go change.” Junhwe moves to walk past him.

“Will you come to my showcase?” 

He halts, looking over at him with genuine shock.  _ This is it. His chance.  _ “What?”

“My showcase. It’s next Saturday. Not this coming Saturday, obviously. The next one.” Donghyuk’s cute when he stammers through his thoughts. “I mean, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to--”

“I’ll be there.”  _ I’ll definitely be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.  _

“R-really?”

“Yeah.” 

“O-okay. Cool. Awesome. Terrific. Bee’s knees. I’m going to stop talking now. Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” Donghyuk’s cheeks are red. 

Junhwe breaks into a small grin. “Alright. Cool. Awesome. Terrific. Bee’s knees.” He teases. 

Donghyuk groans, flicking confetti at him with a playful glare.

He laughs, heart at ease as he looked over at Donghyuk’s pink cheeks and warm smile. 

\-----

Take a chance. 

Stop being a coward. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHA legit remember when I was like weekly updates. that's reasonable. and now im like fuckit who cares. 
> 
> me to me: give it to them. give them the next chapter.  
> me: why?  
> me to me: you gotta. 
> 
> also follow me on tumblr: yaemeus  
> i promise im not crazy. im cool. im hip. im lit.   
> s/o to the anon who sent me the sweetest ask! sorry i didn't reply! been busy with this chapter.


	9. Really Really - Winner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 어디야 집이야 안 바쁨 나와봐  
> 너네 집 앞이야 너에게 하고픈 말이 있어  
> 이걸 어떻게 말을 꺼내야 할진 모르겠지만  
> 이상한 말 아냐 부담 없이 들어줘  
> \----  
> Where are you? Home?  
> If you’re not busy, come out  
> I’m in front of your house, wanna tell you something  
> Don’t know how to say it but  
> It’s nothing weird, no pressure

******wednesday**

_ june babo _

_ Good luck on finals←  _

_ fighting!←  _

       He groaned in frustration, flopping on his bed as he buried his face in his hands; Donghyuk glanced at his phone again, the message screen mocking him as he tried to think of something to text the basketball player. 

       Flipping over to lie on his stomach, he sighed loudly as he held the little device in front of his face. He kept typing and retyping, trying to craft the perfect text message to the other male in loud frustration. 

       “For the love of God, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to throw your phone out the window!”

       Donghyuk looked up to from his mattress to see Jinhwan looking over his shoulder in his corner of the room, glaring at him. He sheepishly apologized, “Sorry… I’m just… I’m trying to send a text to Junhwe but I don’t know what to say. Like it’s finals so I want to be breezy and cool and just be like, ‘Hey! Good luck on finals!’ but not be weird about it either.” 

       His roommate looked up at the ceiling, muttering what appeared to be a silent prayer before looking back at him. “Just send that to him then.”

       “But is that weird? We haven’t talked in weeks and it seems a bit weird to suddenly text him. Especially after he ignored my last text from break.”

       “Then don’t text him.” Jinhwan wasn’t looking at him anymore, hunched back over his textbook with a lone lamp lit above him. 

       “But I want to!” He whined, kicking his feet like a petulant child.

       “Then text him.” The older male’s voice was indifferent at best, too focused on his notes to really offer him any advice.

       “But what should I text him?” 

       “Tell him you want to sit on his dick. I mean, I’m assuming that’s what you want.”

       He spluttered, sitting up with bright red cheeks as he stared wide-eyed at his roommate. “W-what?” Donghyuk tripped over his words, trying not to hyperventilate. 

       “What? You asked me what you should text him. I just told you. Text him that you’ll sit on his dick if he aces finals.”

       He flushes, looking down at his hands in embarrassment. “I can’t… That’s so inappropriate! And, and, embarrassing! And, and, and…”

       “And you totally want to sit on his dick.”

       “Alright, you know what? I’m leaving!” Donghyuk scrambled off his bed, grabbing a jacket off the back of his desk chair before storming out of the dorm room, trailed by the loud laughter of his roommate. 

\-----

       “Do you have to be here?”

       “I’m your best friend.”

       “Yeah, that means nothing to me. Go bother Yugyeom or something.”

       “Jungkookie!” He whined, refusing to budge from his seat on his best friend’s beanbag chair. 

       The aforementioned male sighed loudly, “Donghyuk, I’m kind of…” He leaned forward to whisper inconspicuously, “in the middle of Netflix and chill.” The corner of his lip twitched to draw attention to Taehyung lying on the bed staring at the laptop screen with a paused screenshot of an anime.  

       He pouted, “I like Netflix.”

       “Not what I meant--”

       “Come and watch with us, Donghyukkie!” Taehyung scooted over on the bed, pressing himself against the wall to make room. 

       He stuck his tongue out at his best friend, rushing over to squeeze in the middle, looking over at the screen. 

\-----

**thursday**

       “Not that I would ever discourage someone from practicing but you should take a break, Donghyuk.” Hoseok pressed pause on the stereo, looking up with a bright grin as he tossed him a cold plastic water bottle. 

       He nodded thankfully, uncapping the item before taking big, desperate gulps. “I can’t. The showcase is in two days and I barely got to practice last week because of all my final papers and exams.” 

       The older student nodded in understanding, “But still don’t wear yourself out before the big night! Wouldn’t want you fainting right before the showcase.” He walked over, tossing Donghyuk a towel before patting him comfortingly on the back. “Just don’t overdo it, okay?” Hoseok reached for his duffle bag, “Don’t forget to lock up when you’re done.”

       “Thanks Hoseok hyung.” He called after the man as he strolled out of the studio. 

       “Anytime!” 

       Standing alone in the practice room, he turned to stare at his reflection in the large mirrors. The front of his gray T-shirt stuck to his chest while his sweats hung low on his hips; he ran a hand through his messy bangs, shoes squeaking on the polished floors before looking up again. 

       “Holy shit!” He practically jumped as he caught Junhwe’s reflection in the mirror, standing behind him in the frame of the door. 

       The athlete chuckled, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

       “Goddamnit, what are you doing standing there like some sort of serial killer?”

       Junhwe grins, “I was just walking by and happened to see the studio was still open.”

       “You just happened to be walking by?”

       The basketball player hummed affirmatively. 

       “So, you didn’t text Jinhwan hyung and ask him if I had dance practice tonight?”

       Immediately, the other male’s cheeks began to flush, turning red at the accusation as he shyly looked away. “N-no. I was just… I was meeting up with someone over here, just down the hall-- They’re gone now-- And I heard the music so I… I don’t know what Jinhwan hyung is talking about!”

       He laughed heartily, grinning at the taller male, “Sure, sure.” He teased, grabbing the towel Hoseok had tossed him earlier to dab away at his nape. Peeking from beneath dark lashes, he looked up at Junhwe with a small smile. “So, were you just stopping by or…?”

       The basketball player rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, grinning warmly, “Just stopping by, I guess.” He coughed into his fist before looking over at the piano tucked in the far corner of the room; with a shy grin, he shuffled over to the instrument, sitting on the polished bench before carefully running his fingers over the ebony and ivory keys. 

       Unconsciously, he follows; dragging his feet before settling into the seat beside him. He did his best to remain cool and collected as he watched as the athlete slowly began to play the piano. 

_        ( _ “ _ Oh, my god, why is my heart beating so fast?” “Maybe because you’re in love~” “Shut up, Jungkook.” “Donghyuk and Junhwe, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S--” “I will end you.” _ ) 

       “I like your playing.” He (un)coolly blurts out. 

       Junhwe’s breath hitches, fingers barely paused before resuming. “Thank you.” His voice is soft and sincere, cheeks barely pink as he stares down at the keys. 

\-----

       “Are you sure you’re not cold?” He looked over at Junhwe in his short-sleeved tee, hands tucked into the pocket of his black, ripped slacks. 

       “I’m fine.” The athlete shuddered slightly.

       Hiding his amused smile by biting his lip, he hugged the jacket closer to his body. “Are you sure? I mean, we could share.” Donghyuk lifted one side of the bomber, creating barely enough space for Junhwe to squeeze in. 

       The basketball player flushed, looking down at his feet before shuffling over silently; they were pressed close together. In all honesty, the jacket probably wasn’t keeping them warm at all but it was a half-hearted excuse to be close to each other. 

       Walking together in silence, they stood under the lamppost in front of the Yi Sun Shin dorms, standing idly in the dark night. 

       “Well, uh, I guess this is good night.”

       “Y-yeah.”  _ If he had a nickel for every time he’s stuttered in front of Junhwe, he would be rich. _ “I should probably give you back your jacket.”

       “Keep it!” 

       He slightly pulled back at Junhwe’s sudden statement, eyes wide as he stared at him, fingers still gripping the hem of his jacket. 

       The athlete seemed to notice the change in volume of his voice, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he softened his tone, “I just meant, you can give it back to me at the showcase.”

       “But--”

       “My dorm is literally just around the corner, I’ll be fine.”

       “Are you sure?”

       “Yeah... “ Junhwe looked down at his feet once more, “You should, uh, you should wear it during the showcase. It, uh, i-it looks good on you.” 

       He felt his body flush with blood, the tips of his ears burning at the compliment; eyelashes fluttering, he nodded gently, “O-okay.”  _ He’d be so rich right now _ . 

       They stood there for another long moment, silence seeping over them as they sheepishly kicked their feet against the pavement. 

       “Good night, Donghyuk.”

       “Night, Junhwe.”

       Both of their movements were slow, turning away quietly as they headed in their own directions; Donghyuk chanced a glance over his shoulder to see Junhwe looking back as well. They both flushed, waving slightly at each other before looking away again. 

\-----

       Swinging open the door, Donghyuk wore a wide grin before shrieking and covering his eyes. “My eyes! My precious eyes!” He sunk to his knees, burying his face in his hands. 

       “We’re so sorry!” Jinhwan’s voice rang out in embarrassment. 

       “You were-- We thought-- We weren’t--” Hanbin struggled to speak. 

       “Haven’t you ever heard of putting a sock on the door or texting me?” He exclaimed blindly, refusing to open his eyes. “Like, ‘Hey, Donghyuk! Don’t come into the dorm until told otherwise!’ God, my eyes!” He began rubbing furiously at his pupils as if that would somehow erase the image of his roommate and his cousin,  _ together _ . “Where’s the bleach? I’m burning my eyeballs out of my head.” 

       “Donghyuk, open your eyes.” His roommate’s voice was eerily calm. 

       “Why? Are you both still doing it?” He hissed, pressing the heels of his palm against his eyes. 

       “We’re fully clothed. You don’t have to worry.”

       Taking a deep breath, he peeked one eye open to see that yes, they were fully clothed. Jinhwan’s entire face was red and Hanbin refused to make eye contact, staring at his hands in his lap. 

       “We’re sorry you had to see that.”

       “I’m going to talk to my therapist about this.”

       “You don’t even have a therapist, Donghyuk.” Hanbin sighed exasperatedly. 

       “Well, I’ll need one after this!” 

       “You’re overreacting. I know for a fact you’ve walked in on Jinwoo hyung with Mino hyung. They’ve got to be worse.” 

       “My god, you’re right. I have walked in on them.”

       His cousin seemed happy with his logic, applauding himself. 

       “Is it some kind of curse? Am I doomed to walk in on people for the rest of my life? What have I done in a past life to warrant such a punishment?”

       Hanbin gave up, falling back on the bed with an exasperated sigh. 

\-----

**friday**

 

       “Did you get a new jacket?”

       He hummed, looking up from his notes to see Yugyeom staring at him curiously. “What?”

       “That jacket. Is it new? I’ve never seen it before.”

       Donghyuk looked down to see himself wearing Junhwe’s leather jacket that he was lent last night; cheeks flushing, he tried to remain cool. “This? This old thing? No. I-I’ve had this for years. Wear it all the time. It’s a really old jacket. Yeah, totally not new.”

       The other freshman didn’t look convinced but he shrugged and let the moment pass. “Alright, then. Are you nervous for the showcase tomorrow?”

       “Yeah. Super nervous. But Jimin hyung has been helping me with my routine so I feel a little better.”

       “I’m sure you’ll be great! Our little dancing machine.” Jungkook butts in with a grin, squeezing his best friend in a tight hug. 

       “Okay, just because you guys are taller than me, does not make me little.”

       “Our little baby. So tiny, so small.” 

       Yugyeom laughed as Jungkook continued to patronize him, patting his head softly. 

       “I’m finding new friends. Bye.” He got up to leave, glaring as his supposed best friends only laughed harder at his fit. 

\-----

       Hoisting his backpack over his shoulders, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket; he paused when his right hand wrapped around a blocky item. He pulled back to look down into his hand to see Junhwe’s wallet. Donghyuk rolled his eyes sheepishly, turning around to begin walking towards the dorms.  _ I should probably return this _ . 

       He eyed the leather case, flipping it over in his hand before curiously opening the item; it was a standard wallet. His student ID was protected by the clear plastic while the edges of the wallet were becoming worn from years of use. There was a flurry of receipts stuffed into the slots, dates ranging from two days ago, all the way to five years ago. 

       Donghyuk shook his head fondly before realizing there was something tucked between the leather surface of the wallet and the ID card; he carefully reached between the plastic, pinching the glossy edge and gingerly pulling it out. 

       It was a worn and faded picture; some of the creases were permanently folded into the photograph as he studied the image. Smoothing his fingers over the picture, he brought it closer to better examine it before stopping dead in his tracks. 

_        That’s not… It can’t…  _

       He looked up when someone had accidentally bumped into him, apologizing profusely, but he ignored them; barely acknowledging their presence as he stood in a trance. 

\-----

       That’s pretty much how Jungkook found his best friend; sitting blankly on a park bench, gripping the photo tightly in his fist. 

       “Yo, you okay, man? You disappeared like three hours ago.” Jungkook slumped into the seat beside him, gripping an ice cream in one hand and a corn dog in another. 

       “...” Donghyuk mumbled under his breath.

       “What?”

       “It’s him.” He spoke more clearly. 

       “Who’s him?”

       “Junhwe. Koo Junhwe. He’s… God, how could I forget?” He buried his head in his hand, knocking his skull with a fist, trying to rack his brain. “He was my best friend in Seoul.” He looked up over at his best friend. “Before we moved. You know, the one in the picture on my desk back home.”

       Jungkook shrugged, not really answering his question as he took a bite out of his corn dog. 

       Donghyuk sighed heavily, shoving the photo in the other male’s face. “That’s him. And that’s me next to him. We were best friends growing up.”

       “I object to that because we’re best friends.”

       Rolling his eyes, he looked back at the photo. “He was my best friend. But then we moved out into the country and I never got to see him ever again.” 

       “Guess it really is a small world after all.”

       “I wonder if he knows it’s me in the photo. If he recognized me--” Donghyuk froze, flashing back to break when he had showed him this exact photo in it’s solid black frame. “Oh, my god, I’m an idiot.”

       “Yes, you are.” Jungkook paused, looking over at him as he hung his head. “Why again?”

       “Because I showed him this exact photo when we were on break. That’s probably why he freaked out and ran away. Right? I mean, that’s the only explanation. And I didn’t recognize him! My own best friend--”

       “I wouldn’t say best friend while I’m here.”

       “And I didn’t even recognize him!” He ignores Jungkook’s pointed comment, looking at the photo once more. “God, he must think I’m an awful person.”

       “I think you’re making this a bigger deal than it actually is.” 

       “You don’t get it, Jungkook. Junhwe was… He was my best friend. More than my best friend really.”

       “Okay, now I feel like you’re just saying that to hurt my feelings.”

       “He was everything. We’d play together all day and I would cry whenever my mom said I had to come home for dinner and couldn’t play with Junhwe anymore. He was like my whole world and I forgot him. I just had the memories of a seven year old playing with a blank face. I could never remember who it was and now he’s here!” 

       “Well, then, what are you waiting for?”

       Donghyuk paused, looking down at his hands, “I… I don’t know.” He sighed heavily, leaning back on the bench. “I think… I think need some time to process this.”

       “Well, you don’t have that much time. He’s coming to the showcase, isn’t he?”

       The dancer paused before nodding tersely. “Yeah. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” He grabbed his backpack. “Tomorrow.” He repeated to himself. 

\-----

       When Kim Donghyuk begins freaking out about things, he makes a pros and cons list.  **  
**

**Pros of Confessing to Junhwe**

  * No longer a secret
  * He’s your childhood best friend
  * You might end up dating
  * You might end up living happily ever after
  * You’ll stay in love with him 



**Cons of Confessing to Junhwe**

  * He could reject you
  * And laugh in your face
  * Ruin your self-confidence
  * He might hate you 
  * You’ll stay in love with him **  
**



\-----

**saturday**

“Donghyuk!” 

       He looked up to see his brother sneaking in backstage, dragging his fiance along with him before enveloping him in a big hug; Donghyuk giggled, returning the warm embrace. “I thought you guys weren’t going to make it because Mino hyung had a concert in Japan?”

       “Blew it off. It’s not everyday our favorite baby performs on stage.” Mino coos teasingly at him, ducking to avoid a punch. 

       “Well, thank you though. I’m glad you guys were able to make it!” He was wringing his wrists out of nervous habit, jumping on the heels of his feet as he waited for the spring showcase to begin. 

       “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Donghyukkie!” Jinwoo ruffled his hair with a grin. “We’re so excited to see your stage. But we just wanted to wish you good luck before the start.”

       “And we better go before all the good seats are taken.” Mino gave him a one-armed hug before lacing his fingers with Jinwoo’s own, tugging them back offstage. 

       He watched them duck out of the exit before peeking through the thick red curtain to see tons of faces chattering in the audience. He could clearly see Yoongi’s newly dyed mint hair in the front row of the audience, phone out to record, most likely, Jimin’s solo performance. 

       Donghyuk smiled before pulling back to take a deep breath. 

       “Nervous?”

       He looked up to see Jimin grinning at him; Donghyuk shyly nodded. 

       “Don’t be. You’re going to be great! You’ve practiced more than anyone I know. You’ll be flawless.”

       “Thanks Jimin hyung.”

       “Oh! Before I forget, Yoongi hyung said someone told him to give these to you.” The other dancer held out a large chocolate chip cookie wrapped in saran wrap and a plastic water bottle. 

       He accepted them gratefully, flipping the cookie over to read the little pink post-it note on the back. 

_        “don’t let your blood sugar levels get too low”  _

       Donghyuk grinned sheepishly, peeling away the plastic to take a bite of the baked good. He peeked his head out of the curtain again, the auditorium’s lights dimming as the showcase was beginning to start; he saw friends and family in the middle of the audience, perfectly converged into one group. 

       “Good luck, Donghyuk!” Jimin gave one last comforting pat before walking away to get ready for his own solo stage. 

\-----

       “Our next performance is the male freshman solo stage performed by our very own Kim Donghyuk.” The intercom echoed in the auditorium as the crowd clapped and cheered loudly. 

       He took steady steps out onto the stage, taking a short bow before looking into the audience once more. Donghyuk did his best to school his features, ignoring the way his best friends were screaming cheerfully as he waited for the music to begin. 

       The stage lights shone over the stage, bathing him in a bright light as the introduction of G-Dragon’s and Missy Elliott's collaboration broke through the speakers. The crowd immediately started cheering as the music filled the auditorium, bass thumping against the walls as he popped his body to the rhythm. 

       Under the harsh scrutiny of the stage light and the growing echoes of the crowd, he could feel the sweat drip down his forehead, body moving endlessly in the space. As the song reaches it’s climax, he readies himself for a flip, heart pounding in his chest. 

       G-Dragon’s voice echoes in his head as he pushes himself off his feet, perfectly completing a backflip; the crowd roars, cheering loudly as he grins slightly to himself. He catches a peek at the audience, his family and friends standing in their seats as they waved in support. 

       He moves to look away as the song changes, slowing the rhythm into the soft introduction of John Legend’s “All of Me,” when his eye catches on a familiar figure. 

       Junhwe is standing up from his seat, blindly clapping along with the rest of his crowd but he’s not watching the stage. In fact, he’s actually grinning at a  woman beside him, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. 

**_“What would I do without your smart mouth?”_ **

       He tries to focus on the dance.

**_“Drawing me in and you kicking me out.”_ **

       Movements flowing through his body. 

**_“You’ve got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down.”_ **

       His eye keeps drawing attention to Junhwe. 

**_“What’s going on in that beautiful mind?”_ **

       Junhwe leans closer to her. 

**_“I’m on your magical mystery ride.”_ **

       He grins at her, eyes crinkled like in the photograph from so many years ago. She leans closer, smiling back, their heads slightly tilted like they’re about to--

**_“And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me--”_ **

       He misses a step, tripping over his feet as he tumbles on the stage floor. 

       The room seems to freeze; he briefly registers Jimin rushing onto the stage to make sure he’s okay while Yoongi easily hops over a chair to help him. 

       Donghyuk glances up to see his brother and friends push their way through the audience to get to him before darting over to see Junhwe frozen, staring back at him. He looks away, staring at his ankle as Mino and Hoseok move to help him up.

       “I think his ankle’s twisted. Nothing too bad, but you might want to see a doctor.” Yoongi suggests, making sure to help the others keep him on his right foot to avoid further stressing his left ankle. “Donghyuk? You okay?”

       He dumbly nods, hobbling his way off stage as he feels his cheeks heat up, tears of frustration fighting their way down his face. 

\-----

       “You did really well! It was so cool!” Yugyeom grins at him as they sat in the waiting room of the 24 hour clinic on campus. 

       “Yeah! That flip was amazing!” Taehyung gushes.

       “Definitely! I recorded it all!” Jungkook talks like a proud parent. 

       Jinwoo and Mino ruffle his hair affectionately, straightening up when the doctor returns. 

       “Just a minor sprain, nothing to worry about. I’d keep off that ankle for about two weeks, though. Nothing too high intensity and definitely lay off the dancing for a while. At least until next month. If you do, you could aggravate it and it’ll only lead to more problems in the future.”

       He nodded quietly, accepting the doctor’s prescription for pain medication as his brother helped him up. 

       “Ready to go home?” Mino dangled his car keys in his hand, a warm grin as he looked down at the younger male. “Do you need to grab anything from the school?”

       “No.” He shook his head, grabbing the crutches from Taehyung with a grateful nod. “Most of my stuff is in a storage locker and Yugyeom grabbed my bag when we were leaving.” 

       “Alright, cool. Any of you guys need a ride?” 

       “I’m taking the train tomorrow.” Yugyeom answered.

       “We’re going to Taehyung’s parents’ house for two weeks before we head home.” His best friend grinned, wrapping an arm around the teacher’s aide. 

       “Alright, well, we’ll see you guys soon, yeah? Yugyeom, let me know if you need to be picked up from the train station tomorrow.” The family waved their goodbyes, filing out of the clinic slowly as they made their way to the rapper’s car parked by the curb. 

\-----

       “Donghyukkie, you were really good.” Jinwoo paused, glancing in the rearview mirror from the passenger’s seat. “We’re proud of you, you know.”

       He nodded, staring out the window as Seoul began to escape them and they made their way onto the highway, the countryside beginning to take over the panoramic view. 

       “Are you okay?” 

       He glanced up, locking eyes with his brother for a brief moment before nodding; he plastered on a tired grin, “Yeah. I’m just really tired.” Neither of the other males pushed it, letting the dancer lean up against the cool car window as they continued the drive down home. 

\-----

**sunday**

       “Honey, want anything?” 

       He barely lifted his head off the mattress to see his mother poking her head into the attic; she wore a tight smile, trying her best to be accommodating. He had no doubt in his mind that Jinwoo already told his family what had happened at the showcase. “No thanks, mom.” Donghyuk did his best to offer her some reassurance before burying himself in his sheets again, tucking his book close to his chest. 

       “Okay…”

\-----

**monday**

       “Hey, me and Mino are going into town, wanna come with?”

       “I’m good.” He didn’t bother tearing his eyes away from his novel.

       “Come on, it’ll be fun!” 

       “Nah.”

\-----

**tuesday**

       “Where is that handsome boy of yours?”

       Donghyuk freezes, looking over to see his grandmother reprimanding his older brother; she glanced away from her precious rose bush to look at him with a stern look. “Junhwe. Where is that boy?”

       He took a deep breath, turning back to pulling the weeds out of the ground as he did his best to keep his voice steady. “I don’t know, grandma. I’m sure he’s busy.”

       He can feel her gaze linger but she doesn’t comment any further. 

\-----

       “You can’t just hide in your room and read books for the whole summer!”

       He ignored the whiny tone in his brother’s voice, calmly flipping to the next page of his novel. “Yes, I can.”

       “Come on. Mino’s family is out of town and they have that giant pool! We could go swimming!” 

       “No thanks.”

       “Donghyuk.” Another whine. 

       “No offense, but I don’t really think swimming in a empty pool while my brother makes out with his fiance is really a step up.” He gave an exasperated sigh. “Thanks, hyung. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m fine. Promise.”

       Jinwoo doesn’t look convinced but he can’t dwell on it when Mino comes by with a charming grin and a hug. “Okay, well, just call if you need anything.”

       “Okay,  _ mom _ .” He ducks to avoid a flying pillow. 

\-----

_ june babo _

_ Donghyuk. 7:53pm _

       He stared at the illuminated screen, fingers trembling over the keyboard. 

_ I know youre reading this 7:59pm _

_ Your read receipts are on 8:06pm _

       He threw the device on the bed, trying to bury himself in sheets and books to avoid conversation. 

“ **_Baby~ geuui soneul japjima_ ** _ ” _

       He’s calling him now; the phone vibrates almost urgently like it’s willing him to pick up. With a long sigh, he dug through the covers and pulled out the little black device, thumb hovering the answer button. “Hello?”

       There’s a long second of silence that he debates just hanging up. “I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

       “...Well, I didn’t think you’d call. It’s 2017. No one calls people anymore.”

       There’s a breathless laugh on the other end. “You wouldn’t answer my texts.”

       “That should’ve been a hint that I didn’t want to talk.”

       Silence.

       “How’s your leg?”

       Donghyuk glanced down at his ankle, bandaging tight around the joint. He shrugged, drawing his knees up, “It’s fine. Can’t dance for a while.”

       Junhwe hums, “That sucks.”

       He makes a noise of agreement, looking down at his lap. 

       “I, uh, came to the showcase.”

       He freezes, nodding quietly before whispering into the receiver. “Yeah, I know. I saw you.”  _ With her _ . 

       “You were really good.”

       Biting his lip, he let out an awkward laugh. “Up until I embarrassed myself in front of the entire campus.”

       “No, I mean it. You were really good.” 

       He ran a hand through his hair, “...Well, thanks.” He curled his hand into a fist. “I should… I have to go.”

       “Oh…” He convinces himself there’s no underlying disappointment in the other male’s tone. “Okay. I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to you later then.”

       “Yeah, sure. Okay.” He presses his thumb on the red button, holding the phone in his lap for a long moment. 

\-----

       It’s how his brother finds him that night. 

       Jinwoo wraps him in a thick blanket and pulls him in close, letting him lean against his shoulder; he doesn’t comment on the wetness of his shirt. He doesn’t say anything.

\-----

**wednesday**

       "I need some green onions and potatoes for tonight's stew." His grandmother stuffed a few bills in his pocket. "And why don't you pick up those choco-pies for dessert?"

       He grins, "Okay, grandma." Donghyuk tucked his feet into his sneakers, pulling his baseball cap low to avoid the harsh glare of the sun. He stuffed his fists into the pockets of his jacket, kicking at the dirt path as he began walking towards the town. 

\-----

       Following along the uneven, dirt road, he focused on one rock; kicking it forward like a soccer ball as he hummed quietly to himself. 

       The image of Junhwe at the showcase flashed in his mind. He let out a sigh of frustration, kicking the harder than necessary; Donghyuk looked forward to see it had landed in front of a pair of worn sneakers. 

       It felt like one of those cliche romantic comedy movies ( _which he totally does not watch. Jungkook watches those. Not him. Never)._ Junhwe stands in front of him with a sheepish look, backpack hung haphazardly off his shoulder. 

       "You still have my jacket." 

       He pushed his hands further into the pockets of the leather bomber. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally every chapter now seems too short after posting that monster of a chapter last time.
> 
> also, I will reply to your comments soon! just a bit busy. But seriously, thank you to anyone who takes the time to comment and hit that kudos button. Means so much to me!
> 
> AND winner's new album. SO GOOD.


	10. 취향저격 (My Type) - iKON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 너는 내 취향저격 내 취향저격  
> 말하지 않아도 느낌이 와  
> 머리부터 발끝까지 다  
> 너는 내 취향저격 난 너를 보면  
> 가지고 싶어서 안달이 나  
> 자기 전까지도 생각이 나  
> \-----  
> You're my type, you're my type  
> Even if you don't say anything, I have a feeling  
> From head to toe
> 
> You’re my type  
> When I look at you, I want you so bad I go crazy  
> I think about you even right before I go to sleep

6:32.45 minutes. That’s how long it would take for him to run back home, hide in his room, and pretend he doesn’t see Junhwe standing in front of him. Instead, he digs his heels into the ground, curls his hands into fists, and tucks them into the pockets of the jacket. “Why are you here?” He applauds himself for not stuttering. 

“Jungkook found me; he threw my wallet at me. Told me I was an idiot.” Junhwe’s lip twitches into a smile. “I agreed, so I bought a train ticket here.”

If,  _ if,  _ this were one of those cliche romantic comedies (that Jungkook watches, not him), this is the moment where he confesses his undying love for him and they embrace and they kiss and rainbows shoot out of the sky. 

But it’s not. 

So, he doesn’t. Instead, he shrugs off the leather jacket and holds it out for the basketball player to take. “I’m assuming you’re here for your jacket. So here.” He does his best to sound nonchalant. Cool. Aloof. 

There’s a hesitant pause before a warm hand brushes over his, grabbing the item. “Donghyuk, I--”

The rain suddenly pours down over them; gray clouds filling the sky in a flood of rain. He looks up at Junhwe, reaching out to grab his hand and run back towards the house. 

6:27.18 minutes. That’s how long it takes them to run back to the house and hide under the covered porch. 

Donghyuk shook his head, raindrops flying off the ends of his hair as he stood on the porch; he peeked through the fringe of his bangs to see Junhwe peeling off his soaked shirt and tossing it on the floorboards. Cheeks heating, he turned away, already reaching for the front door, “I-I’m going to grab some t-towels.”

He stutters because he’s cold. Don’t read too much into it. 

\-----

“Well, it’s so lovely to have you here again, dear!” His grandmother reached over to pinch Junhwe’s cheek. She piled on another stack of food in front of them. “Eat, eat! Boys these days are so skinny!” She grinned widely at them, shuffling back into the kitchen to make more food. 

They sat across each other awkwardly; looking but  _ not really _ looking at each other. 

Donghyuk coughed into his fist, clearing his throat quietly. “You can, uh, you can sleep in the attic. I’ll just sleep in the living room with Jinwoo hyung and Mino hyung.”

“No!” He glances down at his lap, “I mean, you shouldn’t have to-- It’s your room so I’ll just-- I don’t mind--” Junhwe scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ll sleep on the floor. You can sleep on the bed so it’s not awkward.” 

“It’s fine. I’m sure the fiances won’t mind me bunking with them for a night.”

\-----

“We do mind. We mind a lot.” Mino deadpans. 

“Come on! It’ll be like a sleepover! We can stay up talking and watching scary movies.” 

“Donghyuk.” The older male placed his hands on his shoulders, looking down at him. “I don’t think you understand. Having your fiance’s little brother ‘bunk’ with you is not a situation you want to be in. Actually, it’s the opposite of what you would want.”

“What’s the big deal? It’s one night.”

Mino sighs heavily, “Because I know Jinwoo. He’ll coddle you and do everything you want because you’re his baby brother and then bam! Before you know it, Jinwoo completely forgets about me and I’m stuck living as a chaste monk.” 

“I doubt that will happen.”

“If Jinwoo doesn’t see me everyday, he’ll forget me. You’ve seen him try to read maps or directions to our house.  _ Our  _ house.”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic--”

“The final answer is no. Sorry, little bro. When you get engaged, you’ll understand. Probably not but maybe.” Mino spins him around and marches him to the attic stairwell. “Well, good night. Cheerio!” 

He climbs the stairs with absolute dread gnawing at his gut, taking a deep breath as he pokes his head in. Junhwe is sitting on the edge of the bed, studying something in his hand as he sighs softly to himself. 

Clearing his throat, he pulled himself up into the attic. “H-hey. Mino hyung said I can’t bunk with them because he’s a jerk so…”

“Oh, okay.” The basketball player hastily stuffed the item back in his pocket before standing up. “Do you want the bed?”

“You can, uh, you can sleep there. I don’t mind the floor.”

“It’s your room, you should sleep on the bed.”

“Well, you’re the guest.”

“I insist.”

“Well, I insist more.” 

“I insisted first.” 

They’re standing in front of each other, practically chest to chest. If he wanted, he could probably count each individual eyelash on Junhwe’s (stupid) face. 

The taller male softens his gaze, his movements slow as he begins to reach out his hand; he brushes his bangs out of his face, warm hand moving down his cheek and tracing his jawline. “I… I’m s--”

“Dinner’s ready!” 

They jumped apart as his mother’s voice echoed into the room. 

“Right, dinner. We should, we should go eat!” He turned on his heel, swiftly sliding back downstairs as he felt his cheeks burn. 

Donghyuk doesn’t check to see if Junhwe follows.

\-----

If there’s one thing Donghyuk’s good at, it’s being patient. He can wait all day. He can wait all night. Because he’s a polite and patient person. 

So, he can totally wait and hide in the backyard gazebo until Junhwe falls asleep so he doesn’t have to confront him. That’s how good he is at being patient. 

He glanced at the attic window, still well-lit. Damn it. Is he going to sleep or what?

“Ahem.”

He startled, looking up to see Junhwe leaning against the gazebo. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He moved to sit at the edge of the gazebo, leaning against the structure as he glanced down in his lap. “I, uh, told Jinwoo hyung and Mino hyung, they could sleep in the attic tonight.”

“Oh.” He wrung his wrists, staring down at his lap. 

“I’m sorry.”

He looked up, eyelashes fluttering in the shadows of the gazebo to see Junhwe still looking down in his lap. “F-for what?”

“Jungkook told me you saw the photo. In my wallet.” He sighed quietly, looking up with a soft look. “I should’ve told you. But I didn’t.” 

Donghyuk bit his lip, looking away. “Yeah, well, I’m sorry I didn’t remember you.”

“Do you?”

He peeked through dark lashes. “Do I what?”

“Do you remember me now?”

He looked back at his hands, “A little. It’s really just a blur.” He shifted to lean more comfortably against the pole. “I remember we used to play on that big hill behind the school.” He laughs breathlessly. “You pushed me once and I scraped my knee.”

Junhwe chuckles. “I felt so bad when you started crying.”

“Yeah, and you promised to be my best friend to get me to stop from telling on you.” 

Their laughter settles into soft silence. 

Donghyuk glanced up; Junhwe was staring back at him, moonlight shining over his dark hair. He took a big gulp of air, wringing his wrists as he looked away. “What… What am I to you?”

There’s sharp inhale before Junhwe exhales silently. “You’re my best friend.”

He huffed out a sigh, nodding silently. “Right… Your best friend.”

Silence falls over them again. 

“She’s pretty.”

“Who?”

“Your girlfriend. I mean, I’m assuming she’s your girlfriend. She was with you at the showcase.” He knows he’s rambling but it’s word vomit. “You guys seemed really close. Which is a totally normal thing to notice. And I’m sure she’s great. And super nice and funny because that’s what you deserve. Someone pretty and great and nice and funny. I’m not jealous, by the way. There’s no reason for me to be jealous. It’s not like we were dating. You said it yourself, just now. We’re best friends. That’s all. And it’s stupid. Because seeing you smile with her actually messed me up. That’s why I tripped. At the showcase. I saw you and you were smiling at her like… Like you smile at me and you leaned in and I couldn’t look away but I didn’t want to watch either.” His vision is blurry and he should stop talking. “And it makes me wonder what I am to you. Am I just another rebound? Someone you could sleep with whenever you’re fighting with Jinhwan or when you’re bored of your pretty new girlfriend--”

“She’s not my girlfriend. The girl you saw me with. She’s not… We’re not dating. She just wanted to come to the showcase. That’s all.”

He shuts his mouth, looking down at his lap. 

“And you’re… You’re everything to me and it’s crazy that you don’t even realize it.” There’s a humorless laugh. “You’re everything, Donghyuk. I wish… I wish I could explain it but I can’t. I physically can’t explain how much you mean to me. And that fucking scares me.”

He finally looked up, eyes locked with Junhwe’s own gaze. 

“I spent so much time pretending I don’t care, pretending I don’t need anyone else in my life. It’s why Jinhwan was miserable with me, because I’m fucked up and I push people away because I’d rather be alone than vulnerable. But then… But then you come back and I feel like I’m eight years old again, when you were-- still are-- my whole world. And it’s terrifying. Because I don’t think I could do it again. Not this time. I can’t, I can’t just be your best friend and not want more. And I know that’s selfish of me. It’s unbelievably selfish of me to want more. Because you deserve more, you deserve better than some fuck up like me who can’t even properly express his feelings.” Junhwe’s breathing hard. “But I’m selfish and if I thought for a second, just one second, that you could return my feelings, I know I wouldn’t let go.” His fists are curled against his knees. 

There’s a moment of silence shared between them where Junhwe is breathing hard and his heartbeat rings in his ears. 

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to just completely drop that bomb on you.” The basketball player slowly uncurls his fists, chest heaving into deep, steady breaths. “Fuck, shit. This is not how I wanted this to go. Donghyuk, I--”

“Shut up.”

Junhwe flinches at that, reeling back quietly. “I’m sorry, I know you deserve better--”

“Stop saying that.” He flashes a glare at the other male. “Stop saying you’re not good enough or that you’re fucked up or whatever. I don’t want to hear your stupid romantic hero bullshit about how you don’t deserve to be loved. This isn’t some Jane Austen novel, okay? I don’t care about whatever tragic backstory you have that makes you think you’re some sort of leper that doesn’t deserve love,” ( _ God, he should not have read all those dumb novels _ ). “You love me and I love you. You’re not being selfish. Actually, you know what, you are being selfish. You’re being selfish by telling me all this and then telling me I don’t deserve you. You don’t get to tell me all of this and then tell me I’m not ‘allowed’ to love you or whatever.” He’s rambling again but it’s not like it matters anymore; the truth is out now. “I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He announces with red cheeks and a childish indignation. 

( _ And now for all the nerve-wracking moments in his life, counting down _

_     5.   Performing in the middle school talent show. _

_     4.   Falling in the well in Jungkook’s yard. _

_     3.   Losing his virginity. _  
_     2.   Holding his father’s hand as he went into surgery. _  
__     1.   Saying I love you.) _ _

 

“Will you say something?” Donghyuk snaps, staring at Junhwe’s gaping expression. 

It seems to wake the other male up slightly as he shakes his head and closes and opens his mouth a few more times before gulping audibly. “Y-you love m-m-me?” 

“Y-yeah, that’s what I said.” He buries his face in his hands, pulling his knees up to his chest as he feels the tips of his ears burn. 

“You love me.” Junhwe seems to enter a trance where he repeats himself over and over. “You love me. You actually love me.”

“Stop repeating it!” He lifted his head to try and level a glare at him but only sputtered with flushed cheeks. 

Junhwe stared at him for a long second before breaking out into a grin. “You love me!” His eyes scrunched into happy little crescents. “You really love me!”

“Yeah, so? You love me!” He retorts, glancing away as the blush seemed to get deeper. 

“I do. I love you and you love me.” His lips look like they’re going to split with how wide he’s smiling. “I love you and you love me!”

“You’re embarrassing.” He grumbles. 

The basketball player swoops in, moving in close so they’re face to face before he whispers breathlessly, complete awe underlying in his voice, “I love you and you love me.”

He bites his lip to stop from grinning back, studying the other’s features for a long moment before leaning forward to bring their lips together. 

It’s chaste; a peck, really, but it brings them both to an embarrassing shade of tomato red. He pulls away with a smile tugging at his lip as he ducks his head down shyly. He peeked through dark lashes to see Junhwe smiling dreamily down at him before he playfully rolled his eyes. “Stop staring at me.”

“I haven’t seen you in ten years, I can stare at you if I want.” 

He nudged Junhwe away with a soft laugh, “You’re dumb.”

“I know.” He says proudly before grinning at him again; he wrapped an arm around him, tucking him in close. “I love you.”

Donghyuk grinned shyly, hiding his face into Junhwe’s shoulder, “I love you too.”

\-----

**the next day**

“Did you guys sleep out here?”

Donghyuk groaned incoherently, shuffling around as he wrapped himself around something warm.

“Donghyuk. Donghyuk!” Someone was singing obnoxiously now, shaking his leg awake.

With a struggle, he opened his eyes, squinting as the morning rays began peeking through the gazebos old roof. “What… Where am I?”

“You’re in heaven, you have died. You are now a ghost--”

“Mino, cut it out.”

He carefully sat up, stretching out all the knots in his body from sleeping on the hard wooden floors of the pavilion. His brother stood in the entryway with a warm smile as he wrapped his arms around his fiance’s waist. “What happened?”

“My theory is that you fell asleep out here last night. You’re lucky it’s summer and it’s warm out at night otherwise you two would have a cold.” Mino playfully scolded, “Breakfast is ready. Might want to wake lover boy.” 

(He threw a shoe at him). 

Glancing down over his shoulder, he pressed his lips together to stop himself from grinning; Junhwe was spread out like a starfish on the floor, right arm outstretched as a makeshift pillow. Donghyuk leaned down to poke the other’s cheek, chuckling softly when he’s lightly swatted away. “Junhwe, wake up. Breakfast is ready.”

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled lowly, twitching away to avoid Donghyuk’s incessant poking.

“Come on, I’m hungry.” He doesn’t relent, jabbing softly at his ribs now. 

Donghyuk yelps when Junhwe wraps a warm hand around his wrist, pulling him down into his chest as he grumbles deeply, “Five more minutes.” 

“You’re lucky I love you.” He whispers quietly, feeling the other’s chest move steadily as silence seeps into the air again.

“I love you too.”

\-----

**three weeks later**

“Jeon Jungkook’s list of ‘If you hurt my best friend, this is what I’ll do to you’: number one, rip you apart, limb by limb--”

“A bit barbaric.” 

“Number two, dump you in a pot of boiling water--”

“Where are you going to find a pot big enough to fit Junhwe?” Donghyuk looked curiously over at his best friend, running his hands through his boyfriend’s hair as he laid his head in his lap, reading over the list Jungkook had handed him. 

“Will you please just stop questioning everything? I’m trying to show your  _ boyfriend _ that if he hurts you, I am not afraid to hurt him.” 

“Duly noted. I like this one. Number fourteen, find a real life Jumanji board and trap you inside the game.” Junhwe reads aloud, grinning at the others.

“That’s creative. I like that one.” 

“If you guys aren’t going to take me seriously, I’m leaving.” He leveled a glare at them both before throwing his hands in the air, “Come on, Tae. We don’t need these losers.”

Taehyung flashes them a grin before tackling Jungkook into a hug. 

He laughs as they roll around in the grassy fields, glancing down when he feels Junhwe tug at his shirt. “What?”

“I love you.”

Huffing out a laugh, Donghyuk playfully rolled his eyes, “I love you too.”

\-----

**one month later**

“Can we get ice cream after this?”

“If you’re a good boy.”

“I’ve been good all week.” The little kid whined, swinging his arms as they crossed the street. 

“Well, if you’re still good, then we can get ice cream.” 

“Don’t worry, Chanwoo, we can get ice cream.” Donghyuk lifted his left arm, letting the six year old swing between them. 

“You’re spoiling him.” Junhwe complained, pushing past the glass door of the red brick building. 

“It’s one ice cream, Junhwe. It’s fine. Besides, he’s being a big boy today and getting a shot. He deserves some ice cream.”

The other male rolled his eyes as Chanwoo clung to his leg.

“Donghyukkie hyung is the best.” 

“You hear that? I’m the best.”

“Whatever.” 

“You’re just jealous, Junhwe--”

“Is that my Chanwoo?” 

He looked up to see a flurry of long dark hair immediately embrace the little kid in a hug; Donghyuk stiffened when he recognized who it was.

“This is Sandara, she’s Chanwoo’s nurse.”

“Please, call me Dara.”

“This is Donghyuk--”

“ _ The  _ Donghyuk? I’ve heard so much about you!” She pulled him into a tight hug before pulling away with a bright smile. “Junhwe talks about you all the time!”

“Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Junhwe began pushing her away, ushering Chanwoo to follow her into one of the clinic’s rooms. 

They stood silently in the waiting room, awkward distance between them before he broke the quiet. “So, you talk about me all the time?” 

Junhwe groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation as he slumped into a chair. “Not  _ all  _ the time.” 

Grinning, he slumped into the seat next to him. “Sure, I totally believe you.” He glanced down as Junhwe moved to lean against his shoulder, pressing his weight against him. “So… She’s Chanwoo’s nurse.”

“Yeah.”

“And she’s the one you came to the showcase with.” He does his best to sound indifferent but he can tell he’s failed when Junhwe’s body rocks with light chuckles. 

“Are you jealous? You don’t have to be jealous, baby, you know I only love you.”

Lips tugging down into a frown, he shot a sharp glare at Junhwe ( _ “You know you don’t look scary when you glare. You just look cuddly.” “Thank you! I’ve been telling him that for years!” “Get out of here, Jungkook!” _ ). “First of all, don’t call me baby. Second of all, I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? Who says I’m jealous? Definitely, not me--”

Junhwe cuts him off with a peck. “You’re really cute.” 

“Oh, my god. You’re so cheesy.”

The basketball player grins, slumping back into his seat. “She’s really more of a sister more than anything else. We grew up together. Anything beyond that just seems wrong.”

He rolled his eyes, twisting his body to face Junhwe when the door opened. 

“Sorry, Chanwoo won’t take his shot without you guys next to him.” Dara peeks through the doorframe, a small smile on her face as she swings the door open to let them in. He shuffles in, ignoring the way that Junhwe tries to reach out for his hand. 

_ He’s salty and he’s not ashamed to admit it. _

\-----

“Is Star Wars your favorite movie?” He glanced down at Chanwoo who was admiring his new band-aid. 

“Yeah! June hyung took me to see the newest one!” 

Donghyuk grinned, ruffling the child’s hair before looking up as the door swung open and the doctor walked in with the basketball player. 

“Just bring him in for check-ups like you are now and he’ll be fine.” The doctor patted his shoulder before digging into the pocket of his lab coat to fish out a lollipop for Chanwoo. He gently patted his head one last time before leaving them alone in the room. 

“Ready to go?” Junhwe glanced at Chanwoo, moving to lift him off the table and place him back on the ground. He extended a hand out for him to hold before looking up with a soft smile at him. 

Donghyuk mirrored the grin, “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Ice cream! Ice cream!”

Junhwe has the ‘ _ look at what you did _ ’ (patent pending) stare down. 

\-----

Spraying another dollop of whipped cream on top of his ice cream cone, he grinned at the sugary expression Junhwe wore.

“That’s so much sugar.” 

“It’s sweet.” He teased, “Like me.”

The basketball player rolled his eyes, reaching over to wipe Chanwoo’s chin free of melted fudge. 

“So, what did the doctor say?”

He hummed, licking a long stripe of his mint chocolate ice cream. “Chanwoo’s healthy. He probably doesn’t have to go in for check-ups every week so that’s good.”

“That is good! You hear that, Chanwoo? You don’t have to see the doctor that much anymore!”  _ Let alone that nurse _ . He doesn’t say that out loud otherwise Junhwe will tease him relentlessly.

The little kid struggles to keep all of his ice cream in his cone, melted fudge running down his hand before Junhwe reaches over with a wet wipe to clean him up. 

“Alright, alright. You had your ice cream, we need to get you home soon.” 

“I don’t want to go.” Chanwoo whines, kicking his little legs. “I want to stay with Donghyukkie hyung!”

The taller male rolls his eyes, “You can see him tomorrow. We can go to the park tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

The kid looks up at him with wide eyes and pink pouty lips. Donghyuk grinned, “Promise.”

“Alright, let’s go. Say goodbye to Donghyukkie.” Junhwe leaned to press a kiss against his cheek. “I’ll see you at Jinwoo hyung’s place, yeah?”

He pursed his lips, glancing at the basketball player.

“What?”

“It’s just… You never take me to see your family.”

“What are you talking about? We’re literally here with my little brother.”

“I meant your parents. You always send me away whenever you have to stop by your house.” He crumpled up a napkin in his fist, keeping his gaze down. 

The silence was deafening before he glanced up to see Junhwe, lips in a tight line as he contemplated quietly. 

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay, let’s go then.” 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

\-----

It’s a large brick house with a big oak tree in the front yard; there’s an old tire swing hanging precariously from a low branch. Chanwoo rushes off the city bus and through the large iron wrought gates, kicking up dirt with his old sneakers before he hops up the stairs and into the building. 

Junhwe laces their fingers together as they step off the bus, nodding at the bus driver before walking slowly through the gates. 

_ ‘Heart of Seoul Catholic Orphanage.’ _

He notices the sign is overgrown with dead leaves and unruly vines as they silently walk past it. Donghyuk can practically feel the nerves radiating off of the basketball player so he gives their joined hands a gentle squeeze and a reassuring smile.

“Junhwe!” 

A soft voice calls from their left; they look over to see a nun shuffling towards them, arms full of groceries. 

His boyfriend broke into a grin, shifting to help her with the items. He grinned warmly, doing the same before quietly introducing himself. 

“Oh, you’re Donghyuk! Junhwe used to talk about you all the time when he was little.” The nun smiled, patting his shoulder comfortingly; she was a middle-aged woman with a sort of grace that one was born with as she led them through the long halls and into an old, outdated kitchen. “I’m Sister Francesca. I’m so glad to finally meet you! I have heard so much about you.”

He blushed, easing into her calm demeanor. “It’s very nice to meet you, Sister Francesca.” 

She flashed him a warm smile. “Are you two staying for dinner?”

“No, thank you. We already have plans to eat with Donghyuk’s brother.” Junhwe politely declines. “We were just dropping off Chanwoo before we left.”

“Oh, well, what a shame. Next time then.” She flitted through the small kitchen with ease. “Thank you again for taking Chanwoo.”

“No worries, Sister.” 

“Well, then, I need to start preparing dinner.”

“We’ll get out of your way.” Junhwe gave her a quick hug and a tight smile before instinctively reaching for Donghyuk’s hand. “I’ll get the other kids to come in and help you.”

She smiled, ushering him out of the kitchen as Junhwe began calling several different names to come down to the kitchen and help make dinner. 

\-----

Walking the tree-lined sidewalks of Seoul, Donghyuk peeked the occasional glance at his boyfriend; Junhwe kept his gaze forward but he could tell how tense he was by the sharp line of his shoulders. With a deep sigh, he carefully nudged the other male. “Hey, you okay?”

Junhwe finally looked over at him, lips pursed as he nodded. “Yeah. Just… I don’t really know what to say.” 

He hummed quietly. “Sister Francesca is really nice.” 

“Yeah… She’s great.”

Another beat of silence.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Shrug. Sigh. “It’s not exactly something people advertise.”

“I’m your boyfriend. And before that, I was your best friend.”

“I know…” Junhwe tries to loosen his grip around his hand but he squeezes tighter. “It’s one of those things I never really talked about.”

“You could talk to me about it.” He moved to stand in front of Junhwe, stopping them in the middle of the sidewalk. He reached up to gently brush the hair away from his eyes. “I missed out on ten years of being your best friend.”

Junhwe’s lips tug into a small smile before he leans down to kiss his lips. 

\-----

“I was thirteen.” Junhwe looked down at his cup of coffee. “I don’t remember much. Everyone says I repressed it and maybe I did but it was just a blur. It happened so fast I don’t really remember it.”

Donghyuk reached over to clamp his hands over Junhwe’s. 

“I just… Chanwoo wasn’t even a year old at that point. He’s my half brother. Dad cheated on my mom with someone he met at work. She just dropped him off like he was some luggage. Mom flipped of course, kept screaming at dad and how much she hated Chanwoo. It’s not really what you want to grow up in.” He took a long sigh. “It wasn’t anything new. Not to me, at least. Dad’s been hitting me since I could walk and mom’s been screaming since I was born.” 

He tightened his grip around Junhwe. 

“I actually hated Chanwoo when my dad first brought him home. Stupid, right? Here’s this baby that’s never done anything and I hated him.” His eyes glisten before he quickly swipes at them. “But then, one day, he gets this crazy fever. Mom won’t take him to any doctor because he’s not her baby and dad’s too drunk to do anything so I just ran. I just grabbed him and ran to the nearest clinic.” 

He moved, sliding into the other side of the booth to wrap his arms around Junhwe before pressing a warm kiss against his cheek. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to--”

“No, I do. I want you to know. You’re important to me. I want you to know.” Junhwe shifted into a more comfortable position, wrapping a long limb around his shoulders. “It’s just a cold, nothing big. They said I did well bringing him in because… Because he’s got this genetic condition, hemophilia. His blood doesn’t clot like it’s supposed to. They said it’s good we caught it early. That I’m a good big brother, bringing him in when there are no parents around. I couldn’t even correct them. Couldn’t tell them that my parents are around, they’re just too fucked up to do anything.” 

He moves to card his fingers through Junhwe’s dark hair. 

“They figured it out when I told them not to call my parents. They saw the bruises on me, the cuts. I used to… I used to hide Chanwoo in the closet so my dad couldn’t find him. Don’t know why, I hated him still but… I still wanted to hide him.” Junhwe moves to nuzzle against his neck. “Then they took us away. Police came, all these people who wanted to ‘help’ me and Chanwoo. Sister Francesca was the first one to not ask us questions about our parents. She just asked me if I was hungry and bought me a burger. I loved her for it.”

Donghyuk can feel tears against his shirt but he doesn’t say anything; softly shushing his boyfriend as he carded his fingers through dark locks. 

“That’s where I met Yoongi hyung. He was my roommate. Probably didn’t like sleeping with a one year old screaming in his crib but he never said anything. Just rocked Chanwoo to sleep and went back to making music or playing basketball.”

He gave a watery smile, hard to imagine the stoic basketball captain lulling a little baby to sleep. 

“I missed you. A lot.” Junhwe whispers against his shoulder. 

Donghyuk twisted, lifting his boyfriend’s face off his shoulder, before leaning to kiss him softly. “I’m here now, okay? I’m never going to leave you again. You can’t get rid of me anymore, Koo Junhwe.” 

“I know.” He smiled softly, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

\-----

**six months later**

“Yo! Best man! Groom’s looking for you.”

He looked up to see Jungkook walking towards him; he grinned, waving at him before turning back to Chanwoo. Donghyuk straightened out his little black bowtie before standing up again. “Mind watching Chanwoo for a bit?”

“You kidding? I love hanging out with this little ewok.” Jungkook held his fist out for a quick bump. 

Chuckling, he patted his best friend before turning and heading down the hall. 

Peeking through the doorway, his lips stretched into a grin, “You called?”

Jinwoo turned around, straightening out the hem of his suit jacket. “How is everything? Have you seen Mino? Is he nervous? Is he getting cold feet? Does he want to back out--”

“Everything is beautiful. No need to worry and Mino hyung is fine. He’s not getting cold feet because he’s been in love with you since we were in high school. Trust me, he’s not going to back out of fulfilling his childhood dream of marrying you.”

This calmed his brother down considerably. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“Any time.” 

“Knock, knock.”

They both turned to the door to see their mother grinning at them.

“Ready to get married?”

Jinwoo glanced at his brother one last time, flashing him a wide smile. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

\-----

“Chanwoo, don’t eat too much cake.” Donghyuk chastised lightly, moving to wipe the chocolate stains off the little kid’s cheek.

“He was so cute walking down the aisle! Such an adorable little ring bearer. How old is he?” 

He grinned at another wedding guest gushing over the child. “He just turned seven.”

“He’s absolutely precious. Is he your brother?”

Laughing lightly, he shook his head, “No, he’s my boyfriend’s little brother.” Donghyuk looked up when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, “And speak of the devil.”

“Hey, you can’t talk to me like that.” Junhwe grinned, handing him a glass of champagne. “Whoa, slow down, no one’s going to take your cake away, Chanwoo.” 

His brother brushes him off, taking another bite of cake. 

The basketball player rolled his eyes playfully before turning to Donghyuk with a wide grin. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” 

“You’re pretty cute.”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“Can you blame me?”

He rolled his eyes before pulling Junhwe into a kiss. Parting slightly, he whispered quietly against his lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

\-----

Kim Donghyuk’s List of Regrets

  1. Letting his best friend copy off his spelling test in the third grade.
  2. Telling his mother that one of the neighborhood kids broke the attic window.
  3. Refusing to start an assignment until the night before even though it was assigned a month ago.
  4. ~~Waking up in a stranger’s dorm room.~~
  5. ~~Possibly drunkenly hooked up with a guy who’s dating his roommate who hates him.~~
  6. Becoming best friends with Jeon Jungkook. ( _He goes back and forth on this_ ).
  7. ~~Drunkenly hooking up with a guy who’s dating his roommate who hates him _again_.~~
  8. ~~Sleeping with Koo Junhwe _twice._~~



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read, comment, and/or hit kudos on this story! It's definitely been a wild ride and I'm not sure if the ending lived up to all your praise but I hope you enjoyed this last chapter (i've made them suffer enough). hopefully this tied up loose ends and answered any lingering questions you had. 
> 
> this is my first completed CHAPTERED fic so yay! if you have any ideas or prompts for me to write, I would love to hear them! Just drop them off at my tumblr: @yaemeus


	11. tiny little bonuses

Donghyuk’s List of Relationship Milestones (In No Particular Order)

  1. **The First Fight**



“He was not hitting on me!”

“He totally was!”

“Oh, my god, June.” He rolled his eyes in exasperation. “For the last time, my  _ boss  _ is not hitting on me.”

“He totally was! You didn’t see that fucking power move of leaning over your desk?”

“He was reaching for a stapler!”

“And he kept complimenting you--”

“He said ‘nice tie.’ I really think you’re reading too much into this.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

  1. **The “Let’s Move In Together”**



They find a small little Seoul apartment fifteen minutes from campus; it’s tucked away behind an old record store and a little book shoppe with a winding staircase that’s rusty and probably no longer up to city safety codes. The front door is painted an off white that’s been chipped away at for years. 

The interior isn’t any better; the living room is tiny, the dining room is non existent, and the kitchen’s back two burners on the stove don’t work. 

But it’s home. 

Donghyuk likes coming home from classes to see Junhwe sprawled out on the small loveseat they narrowly fit into their living room. He likes that they pressed a little table up against the wall for a makeshift dining table even though most of the time it’s covered in essays and textbooks. He likes the little bedroom that is squeezed tight with their full sized bed and it’s mismatching sheets. He likes looking at the posters plastered on the wall and the poorly painted dresser in the corner. He likes it all. 

  1. **The Long Distance**



The summer before their senior year, Junhwe is offered an internship at a prestigious accounting firm in Beijing. It’s an amazing opportunity. It also means they won’t be able to see each other for three whole months. 

“We’ll call everyday, right?”

“Of course.” 

“And you’ll skype me?”

“Definitely.”

“And write letters?”

“Every day, Donghyuk.” The taller male smiles warmly, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against his forehead. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to disappear or anything.”

He nods, burying himself into the other’s chest for one final hug. “I know.” He huffs quietly. “I love you.”

Junhwe places his hands on his cheeks, pulling him away from the hug to look directly into his eyes. “I love you too.”

“Let’s go lovebirds! I’m parked in a parking garage and every sappy minute costs 500 won!” 

Donghyuk groans, dropping his head to lowly grumble out threats against his cousin. 

(He doesn’t see Junhwe flip Hanbin off but in all honestly, he would’ve too).

“I love you. We’ll be fine.”

“I love you too.”

  1. **Meeting the Parents**



“You don’t have to be so nervous.”

“What?” Junhwe hummed, rubbing his sweaty palms against his black pants one last time before grabbing Donghyuk’s extended hand. “Sorry, just a bit nervous.”

“You don’t say.” He grins teasingly, tugging gently as they walked slowly. 

“I’m just… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” 

They round a corner before finally halting in front of a glass window, staring at the decorated urn inside; there’s pictures of Donghyuk and Jinwoo over the years inside as well, documenting their growth from playful little kids to grown adults. 

He clears his throat quietly, “Hi, dad. It’s been a while. Sorry, I haven’t stopped by much. I don’t really have a good excuse. Just been busy lately.” He grinned softly, peeking at the basketball player. “Remember when I was in elementary school and I talked about my best friend all the time?” He gave their hands another squeeze. “This is him. This is Junhwe. Can you believe we found each other after all these years?”

Junhwe smiles reassuringly before turning back to glass case. His voice is low and steady, “Hello, I’m Koo Junhwe, sir.”

Donghyuk grinned, “He’s my boyfriend now.” He took a deep breath. “He makes me happy.” 

“And I promise to keep doing my best to keep him happy.” Junhwe doesn’t look at him, staring at the urn with a serious look, addressing his father like he was looking back at him. “I’d do anything for your son.”

He feels the tears in his eyes, offering a watery grin before squeezing their hands once more. 

  1. **I do, I do, I do.**



“Where the hell are the lilies?” 

“Dear, I think your brother’s gone mad with this whole wedding planning.” His mother pins a flower behind her ear. 

He nods, watching as his brother ran around the wedding venue, fixing every last detail before ordering Mino to fetch him more flowers for the flower girl. “I think so too. Jinwoo hyung!”

His brother looks up from his clipboard, flashing him a tired grin. “Donghyukkie. What are you doing? You should be getting ready for your wedding.”

“I am. But you need to calm down.”

“What? No…” Jinwoo has a surprisingly strong grip on his clipboard as he wrestles it away. “I’m sorry, I just… I want you to have the perfect wedding.”

“And I will because my amazing brother planned it. Don’t worry, if it’s anything like your wedding, it’s going to be amazing.” He grinned, pulling his older brother into a hug before his best man came rushing at him.

“There you are! You gotta help me, your husband to be is freaking out.”

“Uh, guess I gotta go!” He ditches Jinwoo who shouts something about bad luck before a wedding before Jungkook stuffs him into one of the private rooms. “Hey, is everything-- What is this?”

Donghyuk stared at Junhwe who was calmly standing in the middle of a room filled with lilies, holding a glass of champagne.

“This is me surprising my fiance right before our wedding.” He grinned, handing him a glass before grabbing a plate of sweets off the dresser. “Jungkook helped me plan it. I know you’ve been stressed with the wedding and writing your thesis and working full time at the dance academy so I thought I’d surprise you.”

He smiled, “Is this where all of Jinwoo hyung’s lilies went? He’s going to kill you.” 

“Yeah, and my  _ husband _ will save me right?”

Donghyuk laughed, “Yeah, can’t let my brother kill my husband until the insurance kicks in.”

Junhwe rolls his eyes, protesting playfully. 

“Oh, you didn’t know? I’m only marrying you for the money.”

“Ha, well, joke’s on you. I don’t have any money.”

“Yeah, you really fooled me.” He grinned, wrapping a hand around the other’s charcoal silk tie and pulling him into a kiss. 

  1. **Plus Two**



“Donghyuk!”

“What?”

“Where’s the peanut butter?”

“Cabinet above the fridge.”

“I can’t find it!”

“What do you mean you can’t find it?” He shuffled out into the kitchen.

“I mean, oh. I found it. It was behind the cereal.” 

He rolled his eyes, leaning down to ruffle Chanwoo’s hair as he slurped up Lucky Charms like it was his last meal on earth. “Slow down, buddy.” 

“Alright, lunch is made! I think that’s a win for daddy!” Junhwe plopped three identical brown paper bags on the dining table. 

“Please, don’t refer yourself to daddy.” Donghyuk shuffled past the other male to grab a water bottle. “You have everything in your backpack, Chanwoo?”

“Yup.” Chanwoo didn’t even look up from his breakfast.

“Okay, want me to drop you off or Junhwe?”

“You. Junhwe’s embarrassing.”

“I’m your hyung, you brat.” The middle schooler shrugs, placing his finished bowl in the sink before grabbing one of the brown paper bags and tossing it in his backpack. 

“I can’t believe my little brother’s in middle school. It seems like just yesterday he was a little kid who flirted with my husband.”

“Oh, my god. This is why you’re so embarrassing!” Chanwoo pretty much ran out of the kitchen, mumbling complaints under his breath.

Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “I’ll see you later. Don’t forget to pack Jinhyung’s red pacifier. He doesn’t like the blue one.” 

“Yes, yes. It may be hard to believe but I know how to take care of Jinhyung. It’s almost like we’re father and son.” Junhwe mocked, tossing him his own packed lunch. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye! Love you!”

“Love you too!” 

 


End file.
